Understand my feelings today.  Seeing my MIL in a nursing home is breaking me.  My husband is so lucky to be able to care for her the way he does as she is heading into her 90s.  I am longing to comb my mother’s hair and hold her hand again but God’s plan took her from me so many years ago she seems like a dream.  Her face appears in my dreams at times but her voice is always silent.  Time is so short and yet she’s been gone so long.  I am happy that God’s plan also took my dad shortly after so she would not be alone.  I wish my faith was as strong as theirs as I fear I won’t have them picking me up at the last bus stop.  I see their names engraved on their tombstones and yet they are foreign to my lips from lack of use.  Not hearing their voices or using their names make their existence even more clouded in my memory. Seeing the love my husband gives to his mother makes my heart ache for mine. And emptyness his mother never filled.