Never can forget that night…
He answered the phone
As I rocked our youngest

Seeing his face
With such sad eyes
Brought tears to mine….                            Not yet knowing…why

He held out the phone
And turned away
Knowing the words
My dad was about to say

Your mom just died….
We don’t know why
But she’s gone
You need to come home right away

She died on the floor
Beneath the Christmas tree
January 2…46 years ago

50 years 1/2/2022
Seems like a dream now… to me

She was tired when we left
After our family holiday
But never expected she would be
Gone the next day

She told me so much
In the two weeks before that day
Things she kept inside…                      Now feeling she just had to say

There will be she said…
A funeral soon… I’m seeing my parents here every night and day …              though long ago they passed away

Was she letting me know these were the last of her days
As I laid on her bed she kept
Talking away…
It was the 15th Christmas
In our house…..she designed

The drive home….
Just a flash in my thoughts
Even though we were eight or more hours away

We got there at five
Went to where she was laid
Never dreamed I would
Be seeing my mother this way

She was beautiful and calm
Perfectly placed…
With no movement… no words
No smile on her face…

Her makeup was perfect…                  Her hair just her way                            Her glasses sat like she just fell asleep On this couch after a long… hectic day

As this daughter approached                This beautiful box
Knelt down at her side
And cried on her cheek…                          That was blushed a pale pink
I am 23 years…you are 32 more
At such a young age
Why are we here in this place

Within 2 hours
Everyone…
She knew stood in line….for hours…    To see her just one more time

The morning
Before…
They closed her away
We kissed her and hugged her
And touched her once more
My tears fell
My heart quaked
I cried and called out to her…
Begging her to wake…

The funeral was beautiful
She wanted all White
The Mass of the Resurrection
Was her request
And her right

Putting her into the ground
I will never forget
She hated the cold
And it was freezing that day

Later that evening                                      I stood by her grave                                  A mound of brown dirt                          In a cemetery of hundreds        Blanketed with sparkling snow                Nothing was visible…she seem all alone

Six feet down
Under all the funeral flowers
Frozen in place
In below zero weather
Never more would I see
My beautiful mother

….Then I remembered
We forgot her warm coat

I think of that now…
And still cry
Everytime that it snows…

*jcs