On a cloudy Sunless Sunday

A blue sky appearing

To a brighten the day…

The road seems long

But like life the journey home

Passes at great speed

Towns and cities appear

In the vista

Visited during another

Trip but a revisit is not

On the agenda nor anytime

In the future….

A75 year life has

Pinpointed the map

Of my life only including

The area where my children

Have settle…

No longer wanting to

See the world

Barely enough time

To visit theirs…

Milestones have past

Visible only in a rear view

And drifting further away

The only milestone on the

Horizon is a granite stone

On which my name appears

Where my journey and road

Ends..:.

Enshrines me today

The blue ocean I viewed yesterday

Is grey and unappealing at this hour

The sun is hiding

And my girls are so happy with

Their full nest as their college

Boys are home again…

My nest is waiting for

The winds of time to blow

It away as our life is dwindling

Down with a nest full of memories

Of days gone by…

Purging is the word of the day

Purge this flu

This fear

This unhappiness and

Hope for a better hour

A better day and better way…

My heart is heavy with this

Gloom that resides not knowing

How to remove and sweep it

Away…

The sun is peeking out

Giving me hope

That this black cloud will

Also move out of my heart

And soul…

Cruising is like relaxing in a warm bath

With not a care in the world…

Timeshare is like living the same

Day to day life at a destination..

In my case at a beach…

The comparison between Marriott’s

Ocean view timeshare and Royal Carribian

Celebrity cruise is at the opposite end

Of the charts…

Coming off a cruise and starting the

Following week at a timeshare gives

Me first hand knowledge…

Both about the same price…

The cruise was slow, relaxing,

Not a thing to do or a finger to lift…

Excellent food and entertainment

Around every corner and included in

The price…roomed cleaned three times

A day…loose and earring in the shower

They found it.. no problem…

Arnold our cabin steward to the

Rescue…everyone of the service

People had a big smile and we knew

Them by name…fresh towel 2 or more

Times a day…

Food that would compare to 5 star dining

Every minute of my day

Rise and shine to coffee and

Muffins delivered by 7 am

Looking out for each other

Is a totally

Different feeling…

Then having the younger

Generation looking out for you…

We seems to do it diffently

Than the younger generation…

Here’s a seat…

Watch the steps, go slow,

Take your time…announcing

To all around that they have

An elderly relative with them…

It was an odd and unsettling feeling

Of been old when you don’t see

It in yourself when your with

Someone your own age…

Will I travel again after witnessing

This…

It was a wonderful trip but I fear

Beyond my capabilities at 74…

I get up late and go to sleep early

Not exactly the hip cruiser

I thought I was….

Thinking of you alone

Saddens me tonight

Although my nights

And days have been fun

There’s a loneliness

I feel not sharing the

Fun with you…

I wish we could be newlyweds

On this cruise

As all these years have

Put distance between us

With family commitment

And our different views

On travel..,

But glad we will meet up

Soon and have sunny days

And loving nights together…

And I have had a few…

50+++++ now

And I realize how

Lucky we are…

Are a thing of the past…

The pandemic has helped

Turn most of us into

Humans that talk and

Seem to have to defend their

Existence…

I text now to get

Questions answered

As no one can have

An interesting discussion

Without it becoming a

Monologue…

I’m not a listener

I’m a conversationalist…

It’s a give and take

Not a classroom where

One is the teacher

And one the student…

I’ve graduated…

And aged and no longer

Want to know what I don’t

Request to know…

Climbing the mountain

Of my life was hard,

I climbed, I learned

But I find since I’ve reached

The summit the decent

Occurs at a much faster

Pace…a pace like the Indy

500…

I only have time for

Specific conversations

Not stories or recipies

Or lectures that

Don’t interest me…

My brain, my time on earth

And my attention span

Has diminished to such a

Degree…

That I only want to

Experience things that

Interest and pleasure me…

My life has been lived

Pleasing and taking care

Of others…

My time has come…

I only have time now

For elevator speeches,

And Specific conversations

That don’t strain my

Vocal chords and

Give me many many

Potty breaks…

They call

And then tell their story…

I melt down

When I open the fridge

And everything is on one shelf…

He stuffs it all in there

On one shelf…

I clean it once a week

When I open it

Seeing bottles on their sides

Dripping their contents…

Or sticks of butter Falling

To the floor…

There were four halved

Onions, 4 bags of celery

2 partially used and 2 new…

Pieces of bread out of the bag

And bags of cheese opened and

Scattered on the one shelf…

I keep the cheese in a plastic container

Today the container sat empty

On a lower shelf…

So Sunday morning I took

Back my fridge

Which I seldom open

Since he took over the

Kitchen upon retirement…

The main reason I don’t

Straighten it daily is

Because when he sees it stuffed

At his eye view he thinks

We have enough…

When it’s cleaned out

With things organized

He thinks he needs more..:

And off shopping he goes

To fill up all the gaps he sees…

Why there were 4 bags

Of celery (I cut up two

along with the onions

Zucchini and spinach and

Bokchoy and put them in a

Gallon bag and froze for soup…

Now the freezer is another

Problem.. but I can only

Face one Alamo at a time…

24/7 retirement has proved

To be a daily adjustment

Thank Goodness he still

Travels…

As I need a reprieve

From my

Short-order-cook retired groom…

My upcoming cruise can’t

Sail soon enough as I watch

Him make pizza since his

Pizza dough and lb of

Mozzarella along with

Some remnants of peppers

And pepperoni have now

Appeared in the clean

And organized Fridge…:

Had a different flavor

In my gut but

As usual my

Heart sees the real and just

And refocuses my

Thoughts and

Fingers on my keyboard…

We’re on different timelines

Eating schedules

Vacation destination

And just about everything

From ice cream likes

To driving ways

Sleeping sides

Water and food temp

Friends, drinks

Ceiling fans

Flower colors

Talking on the phone,

Silence

And more…

Are we completely different

Yes…

Both Capricorns

Approximately the same age

Same religion and

Political beliefs,,,

Opposites attrack

I know is true

Because we’ve

Been together forever…

For me to awake

Then hitting me

With everything

He want me to do for him…

It overwhelming…

Needing an audience

To repeat everything

He reads or sees

My reading daily

Is a constant problem

For others

Who don’t share my love

For books

Yet having to listen

To their loves for sports

Cooking, fishing, golf etc

Seems to make me

Odd, and disrespectful

I’m their eyes…

I don’t read them passages

From the books I read

I try to disappear in

The pages…

In their misdst

While they yell out

At every pass, tackle

And field goal

As I remain lost

In the characters

And senery on the pages..,

To them a quiet passion

Seems to make me odd…

One needs to disregard

Me and become immersed

In their passion without

Having to pound

It into me…

When you finally get someone

On the phone to help

Why do you have to keep

Repeating what went on

While you were trying to

Work out the problem…

It’s his way…

Not mine…

Has it always been this way

Or is aging

Adding to the problem…

Have to walk away

He wants an ear

To rant at

Not a helping hand

I fear..:

A special treat

From me

Has now become

An expectation

And not what

Has been sweet

But has become a

Pain in the neck

As others have gotten

Involved…

Then when…

My thought today

As Turkey and pumpkin

Pies are bought along

With cookies…

Things I love but won’t

Be shared as one still

Means more…

Pray mine won’t experience

This constant torn feeling

Although I try to make

The feeling Less torn as I

Live these last years

Kinda on my own…

Vote today

Of my life today

Is the age of my youngest plus

Everyday I live…

Fall is the season

Of looking at the hopes and

Dreams of my children

As they grow their family

Their careers and fulfill

Seeing the fruit ripen…

Their hopes and dreams

From the love that my husband &

I share brings fulfillment

Thankfulness to my heart and soul…

Being still present in their

Lives and seeing our grandchildren

Grow and succeed under

Their tutelage makes me

Realize that the life and faith

We provided for our family

With the help and tutelage

Of our parents have reaped

Good, Christian adults as I prayed

To God to help us nurture and guide them…

Giving, adjusting our views to

Understand and guide theirs

Has provided a happy life…

Glitches along the way have humbled

All of us, pulled us closer and

Permitted them to find the right partners

To fulfill thier/God’s purpose

For their lives…

I’m thankful for Gods forever love

And guidance in our life

And give Him thanks

To fulfill our purpose in His kingdom

Whether it be our health, our

Body and mind our love

To mold us into His glorious image

as He see fits…

Blessed be God…

For over 50years now

Yet I feel his pain is so much

Greater than mine

As he witnesses her

Spiraling down the dementia

Hole…

Crying for those who have passed

And him so far away…

It would be sheer hell for him

If it weren’t for FaceTime…

My parents quick end

Was a Godsend I now realize…

I see her no different today

Then always, more intense

And living in her own mind…

My sadness is for my husband

Who bears this with such love

And patience…

I pray I pass quickly like

My parents, and grandparents

And never have my children

Cry watching my

Slow ending…

Only God knows why.,,

For over 50 years now

Yet I feel his pain is so much

Greater than mine

As he witnesses her

Spiraling down the dementia

Hole…

Crying for those who have passed

And him so far away…

It would be sheer hell for him

If it weren’t for FaceTime…

My parents’ quick end

Was a Godsend I now realize…

I see her no different today

Then always, more intense

And living in her own mind…

My sadness is for my husband

Who bears this with such love

And patience…

I pray I pass quickly like

My parents, and grandparents

And never have my children

Cry…watching me

Slowly end…

Only God knows why.,,

Go

Where to hide

When the life you planned

Has been Rerouted

To a trail that will end

On a cliff with nowhere

But death ahead

And a spiral of sadness

That our life is too

Short to recover from

I fear…

Through the Ash blight

The pandemic

And the little silver tag

Driven into its trunk

That identifies it as an

Ash…

It’s survived a crash

By a car which stunted

It a bit

And is smaller than

It’s brother growing

A little farther up the parkway…

My Ashes make me realize

That we must not give up

When a blight/pandemic

Takes hold and wipes a whole

Species from the earth…

My Ash is a species of Ash

That is surviving..,

Like those of us surviving

Thriving or just hanging on…

This morning

In an odd panic

Knowing not why…

But knew it was manic

Not wanting to rise

Not wanting to doze

Needing to hear

His voice

Was my only repose…

How can that be

She’ll ALWAYS be the baby

To me…

50 years ago angels came

And took my mother

To heaven and on her arrival

My mom pick an angel

And 9 months later

Sent her to me…

She repaired my broken heart

As my mother intended

And continues to be the happy

Smiley

Part of my children of three…

Don’t know why

But not getting better

Though I try…

Thoughts go darker

No light in site…

What to say

Where to go

To uncover this gloom

Holding me tight…

Is so well represented

By the changing of the colors

On the branches of trees…

The stems and twigs that carry

God’s nutrients and color

All the leaves

Give glorious joy

To the Creator who also

Gave the power of color

And art to the man

Know as Monet…

I love his paintings

Many of which

Are only copies

Of God’s

Masterpieces

Of the Seasons…

With each gust of wind

On this wonderful fall day…

Some trees hold their leaves

A little longer than others

Making me believe others

Will be raking before me…

I miss the smell of

Burning leaves of years

Gone bye and thankful

For the township scheduling

To pick up leaves from

Now until the first snowfall

Which I hope is much later

This year…

Scheduling seems to make

The seasons fly for one

Who never seems to follow

Time, rules or schedules.,

I’m on time for what suits me

Follow rules I install

And schedule very little…

I’v been called uncoachable

Never take constructive criticism

By those that try to form me..

I find I’m a free Spirit

That doesn’t follow the mAsses…

Mother said she was raising Chiefs…

Not Indians…

I just followed her instructions…

I feel she’s proud of me…

Is full of stress today

Upon waking I fear

The unfolding of the day…

What will it bring

What will we hear

bringing stress and worry

To me and the world

Population…

Why is Peace

Such a non attainable

Existence for a country

And world so full

Of Gods creation.,,

Why can’t mankind

Be happy to live in

Peace love and harmony

And care for each other’s needs

As theirs are overflowing…

Hoarding for tomorrow

While others starve today…

Each of us need

To search beyond our

Physical beings

To fulfill God’s greatest

Commandment..,

Love each other as thy self…

For you my friend

I was trying to distract

Your worry and distress

By giving you non stop

Talking about mine…

My prayers and love

Are always with you and

Pray our next meeting

Will find us joyful

And under less stress…

Our days now should be

Happy and carefree

And everyday the best day ever

Like our last cruise…

Thanks for tolerating my

Opinionated self

And my endless memory…

I’m hoping when my memory fails

You’ll be able to fill in my gaps

With all the stories I relate to you…

I fear I talk so much because I have

So many words pent up inside

And little time left to get them out…

I’ve been tearful since you left

Praying for better days ahead…

💕💕💕💕

Different places

We’ve lived such different lives

It hard to understand her

Thoughts in the twilight

Of our years…

Our experiences

And knowledge should

No longer gives us doubts

On what we believe and understand…

But seeing the wavering now

Worries me, yet it is not…

As we pass by again

My place to enter in…

Kids are watching closely

As they worry…decline

May beginning

Hoping mine can live

Longer before decline

Worries them…

Mysterious ways…

I pray we all understand

Some day…

The suffering I see in

Children is hard

To bear…

In adults it’s

More understandable

As we have lived

Our way…

But maybe not God’s way

So He must let us

Tender to Him

Before He let’s us in…

Like going to school

One can’t graduate

Till the time has come

With all lessons learned

And credits earned…

Doesn’t help

It makes two upset

Instead of just the one

Carrying the load…

The other tries to be supportive

But what can one say

As it mostly makes the other

Wonder the reason

For the unloading today…

The mind can only hold

So much before the

Self needs to dump or shield…

Shielding just prolongs the

Dump and the load will only

Increase until the unloading

Is catastrophic

Reminding me of

Many 18 wheelers

Taking a sharp turn

Dumping its load and either

Jackknifing or laying on its side…

The cleanup is immense

And the load unretrievable…

Or with the brain

Unrecoverable…

Heal with scars left behind

To toughen one

When amends aren’t

Forthcoming…

But scars cause love

To hide and bury

In fear that the

Situation will

Continue to scar…

The sky is grey

The day is warm

The football game is blaring

And hubby is yelling at the refs

Remembering why I worked retail…

Not a football fan…

Unless my boys were playing…

They aren’t so I’m cleaning …

I pray isn’t God’s way

Of preparing us for our forever

Time apart…

His job

Made us both pretty independent

As I worked from and at home

And he all over the country

And world…

Today he sits and keeps his mom

Company as her mind searches

For words and memories…

As we sit far apart in our

Retirement world

Thinking of sun, sand, golfing,

Fishing, walking on the beach

And finding home cooked meals

On the backroads of our trips..:

Our time will come..,

Just hope it won’t be

Too Late….

It’s hard to feel alone

When you’re home

With all you own…

Encapsulated with views

And pictures of those you love

But now long gone

With thoughts and memories

Of long ago held within

The bond and beliefs you share…

Today I’m here alone but

Not lonely as I dwell within

My happy memories of my

Life lived with all I love…

Might not necessarily be home

When a mother is dwelling in a

Nursing home…

Slipping farther away everyday

Calling you by your brother’s name

Not knowing where she is as different

Girls help her every day…

Crying for her mother then asking

Her daddy for help

Is hard for my hubby to watch and hear…

Torn between two women

Between two homes

Needed in both Is torturing

His heart…

I like being home

As my mother is gone

And going back to see her tombstone

In the ground

Doesn’t give me a happy view

Of my home no longer there…

A century has passed since

I called back there home

And my home now is where my

Children and grandchildren

Have grown…

And it is here I want to be…

So we sacrifice us

For that place so far away

Where he can be with her

For the withering of her days..

Makes for greener grass

A crisp fresh smell

And thoughts from heaven

Of loved ones we miss

on a rainy day

There’s more time to think

Of them in happy days

As the tears from above

And loving ways

Help brighten our world

Washing away

Sad thoughts and ugly ways…

Is a state of mind

Not in sync with

Happiness…

Nowhere to go

As you’ve given away

Your individuality

To care for everyone else…

Everyone has their own

Place of sadness and worth

They don’t need any more

So swallow and carry it

Down so as not to spit it out

Making it your own…

Off track

Invisible

Misplaced

Disoriented

Just a few words

That seem to describe

My state of being…

123 was my way

Something is missing

One step in front of the other

Now my steps are skipping

All over my game board

Feels like I’m playing Twister

With no control of my

Moves, ideas, thoughts

So sitting still, in place

Til my being is found

No longer lost…

Some days she up

Some days she sleeps

Some days she’s angry

Some days she’s there

Sometimes she’s not…

He sits for hours with

The hope she’ll awake

And realize she’s not alone…

When he’s not there

He’s on FaceTime with her

But tonight she wants no part

Of the IPad to be on

Which is her right and

Gives me a breath of fresh air

Since he’s been on the phone

For hours discussing the new

Covid outbreak, a UTI or

Long sleeves they put on her

In this heat to keep her from

Bruising as her skin is so thin…

We are thankful for this place

That take care of her so well

At a very steep price

But the toll on her son

Is hard to watch..:

He find it so hard to leave her

When he goes back

But I remind him how

Hard to leave mine in the ground

So I stop going back to Death Valley

That I use to call home…

Watching her age is aging us too

As it’s A crap shoot as to

Who will outlive who…

I doubt we have her longevity

So the odds are on us

I fear…

As we seem to put

Our life on hold…

Such little desire to…

Doing my daily ways of reading, TV

And sitting while laundry stacks

Dust falls

Organization is a dream

And me cooking is non existent

This is the life I know now

No deadlines, no visitors

No pets, no where to go

And not doing things if I don’t want…

Hubby will be traveling soon…I hope

Then I’ll do and it will stay done…

Will look for carpet and a new chair

And hopfully he’ll like my choices

If not…Oh we’ll

He can live with what I like

His likes don’t always appeal

To me…

Years ago there was a show on TV

Named Dragnet

One of the characters was Jack Web…

What I appreciated about Jack was

His insistence on only the facts…

As he interviewed a witness and

They would go into a long

Story he would say “Just

The facts mam just the facts”!!

As we have aged I’ve become

Jack Webb and hubby has become

The long winded, story telling

Witness…

I have a hard time listening to

The details of his stories…

Just the facts hon, just the facts

Is my constant reply…

When I ask how the golf game was

Good is the only answer I want

Not the rendition of the 12 days of

Christmas that I refer to as the

18 holes at Springbrook…

If the golf wasn’t good why go…

I don’t need the hit by hit rendition

Of how far over PAR…

As I read this post to hubby…

He finally replied with his view

Of the facts…

“Get a life”, he said….LOL

Peace and quiet

Without the stress and mess…

No longer needing or

Wanting things to clutter…

No longer needing to listen

To others thoughts and mutters…

Companionship requires to much

Work and input

Even with a dog…

What is aging and life saying…

It’s time to go!

He loves to eat therefore

He loves to cook…

But the mess he leaves

Isn’t worth the meal…

A quick cheeseburger

At McD leaves me satisfied

Without the stress

Of looking at the mess…

Many arrows to the heart

Cause unbearable hurt

Yet overtime the hurt is scarred over

Yet never really heals…

Scars remain and their thickness

Keeps the hurt from causing

The heart to shatter…

How long I wonder will the scars

Hold and grip the pieces together

Even though arrows continue to ping from

The scars from other penetrating hurts…

Do scars rupture and bleed

From hurts unseen to the human eye

Or do they form an armour to keep

Th heart tough and uncaring…

Is that when love ends…

Or is the ache permanent

Letting love live…

Is what I call a compliment

To one to get another jealous

So they step up their game…

Sincere compliments have no

Underlying reasons

Making one realize

The nasty

And unkind way of one’s

Character…

Excites me…

Packing, finding hotels

Wanting to be anywhere

But home is not where

I want to be…

I only like the ocean,

Reading and sleeping

Is it my age or the organization,

Planning, driving, endless

CNN on the radio, too much

Stuff in the car, traffic, car issues,

Not a fishing or golfing type of girl…

The only thing that would entice

Me would be a cruise or a condo

On the ocean…

The the how, when and where

Plays over in my mind

And my thoughts are… been there,

Done that..:

The pandemic and the crazy people

With guns no longer make me

Want to be in a crowd, on a plane

At any big organize event that

Some could target for a moment

Of deadly fame or pass on the Covid

With their unmasked face…

An Ice cream cone or a sweet tea

On my front porch watching the day

Ending as sunset fills all my desires…

My husband’s bucket list is unending

And mine is very low…

Talking is even a low priority

To me now…

Feel there’s not much that hasn’t been said

And my mind is sick of the repetition

Sounds of silence is joyful as

Gods world and nature gives sounds

Enough to make one happy while the sounds

Of mankind have made the world less

Nurturing, safe and content…

Thinking, wanting and striving

In my eyes is over…

Meditating and praying is less

Strenuous with more conviction

For a better world for mine, and

Theirs to come…

Bucket lists are for the young…

If I haven’t done it yet do I really

Want or Need to do it Now…

Came across Pinterest many years ago…

Mostly looking at weddings, dresses,

Tablescapes etc,.

Being retired I view it through

A different lens…

Entertainment, hairstyles, makeup

And cooking to name a few…

Lately I’ve been following a cook…

Traziarae… she’s cute, fresh, witty

And loves what she does…

She’s married to a NASCAR driver

And does some of her episodes

From her RV while at the race track…

Look her up…

She’s a HOOT…

Is not living an authentic life

It’s living up to other ideals

And not what God made for you…

Worrying about what others think

Is hiding yourself

Your life, thoughts, abilities

Living in the shadows of others…

If you can’t shine your light, and life

There’s something, sinister, missing

Not right about yours…

The sunshine is where you should live

Only sleeping in the dark…

Living in the dark and shadows

Is a life sentence of doubt, unfullfillnent

And sadness…

Live proudly

As the soul that God created

With the gifts He gave you…

Still remain in the heart

Hurting and tearing

Fabric of the soul apart…

Things others don’t know

Or choose to forget

Cling to that fabric

Rotting deeper

Until it becomes as volatile

As a volcano…ready to explode…

Always appears in my heart

When the one who lashes out

Feeling wronged

Is usually in the wrong

And should bite his tongue…

In most family situations over

The years I have found this

To be true

And has followed a tradition

Of one’s opinion of

Right vs wrong…

At this age I’m over

The drama of nonsense

That isn’t even an issue

But creates a situation

In which no one wins…

An so in my little car

I drive away…

Who would want that symbolism

Attached to their name…

Yet here we find out selves

Dealing with the word…

It’s not flattering, not endearing

And not someone you want

To know…

She may have good qualities

But then she crossed the moral line

And persued a married man

Becoming a home wrecker

She’s not the only guilty party

As the door must of been opened

By the one breaking his vow, his

Commitment, his trust of his family…

God will judge but it’s hard not to see

The wrong-doing in both parties

And the devastation and disappointment

Brought to undeserving others

Who didn’t expect the horrible

Breach of morality…

Children suffer most

Not knowing what to think

Or the one who solely belonged to

Them now they share with others…

One now understands more of Adam

And Eve and the snake and the breaking

Of rules, commandments and the

Outcomes of such errors and

Deliberate acts of infidelity…

Happens with a break

In commitment…

Can’t imagine the feeling

As it hasn’t happened to me…

Wondering how he’d feel

If this were his sister or mother…

Would he feel the heartache

The way I do for one of mine

The loss of a best friend, partner

The one who would have walked through

Fire for him but today

Her heart is broken,

Crushed…and yet she

Is probably getting the kids

Ready to wish him a happy fathers day…

Mothers always think love,

Children first themselves after…

What are you thinking?

Of her, of those 6 big eyes

That see her cry when she

Doesn’t think they are watching…

Thinking of the heart ache of

Grandmothers wondering what life

Will look like with a split family

Wondering how you could let this happen…

You before them

Is not a fathers way…

Just look at your father…

Your father in law…

Will your children see a hero

Like their children do…

I’m wondering…

I’m hoping God guides

Your steps through this disregard

Of commitment, love

And Gods Commandment…

So the proctor says

And the test is over…

Assuming life is also

On a timer I wonder if

We get a heads up before

The timer buzzes…

At 74 I think my

Life has been long and fulfilling

But is 74 the notch

That buzzes on my timeline…

My brothers was 82

My mom and her mom were 55

My dad 60..:

My dads mom was 79…

My granddads were 72 and 75

Will my timer buzz soon

Will I sleep thru..,

Questions of life roll in

My mind as my sister

Will hit 80 this month…

I wish we could knock over

The egg timer so the sand

Would stand still

But on second thought

Those precious grains

Of sand are the days

Of our lives….

As things are

Becomes visually clear

With aging even though

One’s eyesight is fading…

Facial Expressions to opinions

Give a clear sight of one’s

morals and integrity

Even though they aren’t

Verbally expressed…

Directions given by coaches

Sometimes makes one wonder…

Do I really want my child influenced

By such a person.,.

Verbal judgements gives

A glimpse of Christianity

And the values held…

Looking back I realize

The instructions and advise

Of my parents still hold…

Associates/friends are like an

Elevator…they either

Take you up

Or bring you down…

When you see the red down

Arrow…

It’s time to get off

And take the stairs..,

I wonder if their owners know

or really listen to how they sound…

I hear them very often

And try to walk away as

words have no meaning

are seldom ever heard as the

tone drowns out

While Harshness overshadows the words…

My mind drifts to more

Melodic sounds with meanings

That please the ear…

Birds have the market on speaking

With their chirping rhythmic notes

Seemingly get thoughts across

To other feathered friends

Without startling or off keyed tones…

Voices can be beautiful when

A soul delights in its own sound…

Nice and clean

Has never been

On my To Do List…

Life takes one on journeys

Many miss when the OCD

Of clean and brite sets in…

Kids grow too fast

To let dirty floors keep

You from their meets and games

Hearing their successes and

High points through words from others

But not seen through your eyes..,

Housework and clean

Like everything in life

Needs to be seen and done in moderation

As life and growing kids don’t

Wait for clean windows and made beds…

I find a dirty window make one

Appreciate the effort of a clean one…

Excuses one might say of one in judgement

As looking out ones pristine windows

Noticing only the stains or rips

on a neighbors laundry hanging on the

Line…

Doesn’t follow Jesus’s greatest

Commandment of love thy neighbor…

Wondering back trough neighborhoods

Of my youth

I remember those who were self-righteous,

unfriendly and those that never saw

My unexpected visit as and intrusion…

In adulthood I now realize those that

Couldn’t wave at a passing neighbor

And never open a door to a friendly

Visit disappeared in my older life.,,

If Indian belief bears honor that the dead

Are kept alive by those remembering them

With love…

I pray my memory is held with love by

Those I have tried to love and nurture

With my unOCD of life.,.

With little thought…

Is where we are now

Your mom and brother

Seem to be steering our life…

Who scheduled a meeting for today?

Can’t we have at least

My thoughts on what to do never fly

A small get away?

And I really don’t know why

So it’s time to stay out

And dry

From all the Drama

They cry…

When making plans

You need to be sure both parties

Are on the same page and timeline…

Otherwise one is waiting and the other

Thinks they are right on time…

When one thinks the time is lunch time

And the other thinks it two hours earlier…

Everyone is on their own timeline

Unless a specific time is agreed upon…

Much talk

Little done

To stop the pain

What to do…

Stop the reign

Of the hate filled

Monster

Inflicting this horror

The Russian people

Hold some blame

As they let

Evil

Rule in their name…

tears still fall

memories of my brother

keep running

Through my mind…

nights

dreams…

searching for him

Through our childhood home

Yet wake alone

No brother found…

This seems so sinful to me, taking something old, antique, in many eyes, and trying to update it to fit in with today! Why would you do it! What could you improve on something so beautiful that has survived a century!

This was my shock as we buried my brother, having his funeral Mass in the family church where he was married. Our grandparents also married here as this church was rebuilt after a fire burned it down in the early 1900s. My grandparents monetarily contributed to it beauty as it was refurbished after that devastating fire! Buying their own beautiful wooden pew that is still there and marked with their number!

Still there are the stained glass windows and statues that parishioners raised money to purchase. The beautiful confessionals that my father and family would wonder into every Saturday to practice their faith. But the beautiful altars are gone, the communion rail that was knelt at each Sunday! Where is the marble baptismal font that my grandmother gave in my grandfathers name! It matched the lectern that is still in its place!

A church isn’t a fashion that is changed with each new trend! It’s a holy place where people come to worship, Baptize their babies, bury there dead and pass through with all the spiritual happenings and rituals making up their Catholic life! This church was our home everyday growing up. Choir practice, CCD classes, stopping in to light a candle and pray for a favor, help for a successful surgery. We came here on a daily basis a place of peace, of quiet, a place to regain strength before going home to show your mom not such a great report card.

But today it is barely recognizable to me. It’s as if the frame is still there but the Mona Lisa is not, An imitation sits in its place.

I understood the lack of the holy water fonts due to the pandemic upon entering. But the beautiful altar being gone was earth shattering to me. The color of the walls are not a color for the church! Everything felt cheap, found at garage sales and put in place!

No longer the church of my father. The church of my youth, the church people loved coming to. Instead as my sister commented, look Protestant, not our Catholic Church! My family died off 50 years ago and our jobs took us away! My question is why was money spent to rip up instead of repair!

Do we paint over the Mona Lisa or replace the Eiffel Tower with concrete! Who thought this was a thing to do to an irreplaceable antique that Honored God for decades in glorious beauty. Parishioners over these many years did without to glorify God in their most humble and beautiful way. Today they would be mortified to see the look of their church!

Make new churches modern, include beautiful items from churches being closed or torn down that cost their parishioners much of their salaries over the years.

As the funeral proceeded for my brother I felt the tears of my parents, grandparents aunt uncles and cousins and even our parish priests that we prayed with daily, They were there for him but also for the loss of their beautiful church that no longer was intact!

The movie is over

The actors go home

It’s also how our life ends…

The funeral director doesn’t

Use those exact words

Everyone left…

To be exact he said. The Service is Over…

Except for the star..,

He was taken out

Enshrined in the earth

Time didn’t stand still…

While we went about the rest

Of our day…

The world didn’t stop

As I stood by the mound

That now was his home

Til the end of time…

I needed to see where my brother

Was laid…

Driving passed the next

Morning… to say goodbye

The tomb wasn’t opened

It was very still yet noisy

From the freeway traffic…

Instead of a tombstone

I think a neon sign

Changed daily with

Bill’s Quip for the day…

My heart has been pierced

spurts of sorrow flow

From that portion, he has always owned…

The memories gush

overwhelming my mind

Unending days with him

Throughout my childhood…

My big brother, my hero, my go to

When things hurt and made me cry…

I see us together

he practiced his Boy Scout’s first aid

To cure many a disaster

From my tomboy days…

When he Couldn’t fix or stop the blood

He would yell out for mom to

Help him bandage, tie up

Or call Uncle Ted…

As these adventures continued

Following him…

And I knew he was always there

To carry me home…

In their life…

My hubby does

One old, one older…

She was his first

And I bow to that

Therefore she has him

To herself on certain days in the month

On those days

I stay at home and

On my missing my hubby diet…

Since he is our chef and grocery shopper

I don’t eat as much or as well

When he’s gone…

But his mother’s care givers

Get his homemade brownies

And cakes…

The time works for us

As he’s not torn between two

Women…

I like eating fast food

And bingeing on old movies

Also doing a little remodeling

Without interference

Or opinions…

So his two girls get the best of both

Worlds…

And he gets no downtime…

And one is gone…

Heading home to say goodbye…

His life is now his history

Three sisters played

Staring roles in the early acts

As time went on his biography

Continued

And we appeared in occasional bits

As his troupe of 4

Added more actresses and an actor

Making his acting career a big hit!

He has always been

Now in my

Soul and tears

I shed…

Childhood was short

adulthood

a flash…

No more dinners together

Since mom and dad

Passed…

Parting is not sweet

Sorrow…

In his wake

A chill…

Fills the air

As the warmth of a brother’s

Love is no longer near…

He may be gone

But his soul lives on

Not far away

From his love ones who mourn…

The days of crying

Will soon end

As we each follow him

Home…where life begins

When we all dwell

With him in the

Glow of God’s Light

Illuminating all

That from earth

Is still dim….

Consoles me

Now that my brother

Has followed them

To heaven…

It makes the future journey

Less scarey as I would follow

Him everywhere when I was little…

I’m not in a hurry for the adventure

From which we won’t return

But finding him

Just like our hide and seek’s

In our old 4 story home…

Where he would hide in the cellar

Behind the coal furnace

Other times in the attic

Where his bedroom and

Our playroom were…

He would let out a whistle

If my footsteps were heading

Away or hit a piano

Key to give me a hint…

I’m counting on him

Now…to lead me to Him

Where he now

Resides with them…

Life goes on without him…

There is relief his strife is done

As heartache soon begins

And…

My mind returns to childhood

Where I grew up together with him…

Three peas in a pod…

Maury, me and Bill

B street was our refuge

Where he and our mother were born

It never leaves our memories

It’s the prologue of our book

B street held our secrets, our

Dreams, in our safe and

Homey nook…

Our fort was never breached

We never lived in fear

Tomorrow was the only

Future for which we ever

Cared…

Responsibilities were few…

He and I mostly spoke

Of the wonders of those times

As He became lost

At the ending of his years

He was Trying hard to go home again

For the safety he knew

In youth…

Finally he’s there…

Centered in the heart

Cracking and tearing

A family apart…

One travels on

To the promised land

The rest of us stay

Carrying on with

Our plans

Missing and longing

For the one that is gone…

We’re taught to rejoice

For the one who is chosen

But in the moment…

We tend to forget

That the chosen have

Risen to the height

Of their life

Following God’s

Unending light…

My heart is heavy

My brother is gone

On to eternity

With our dad and our mom…

We grew up together

And I can never forget

All the fun that I had

With my big brother’s wit…

He loved cracking jokes

And making us laugh

With his unending humor

A personality to match…

He never met a stranger

He didn’t call a friend

And the Sparkle in his eye

Drew everyone in…

His wife and his girls

And 4 grandchildren

Are the love of his life

And from his heavenly view

His love, vigilance

And unending care

Will keep us all safe tonight…

We’re wonderful

Even though we were

A few years apart

I think about the years

I can remember

When we were on

B street and close in heart…

You took me to the playground

And pushed me on the swings

And gave me little cherry bumps

On the wooden teeter totter

Across the street…

We chased your dog Rusty

And you took me on your

Paper route

And I watched you

Serve at Mass

As the most revenant

Alter boy

Til you graduated

From 8th grade…

College was a separation

Then Germany for 2 years

Then we both got married

And we went

Our separate ways…

I love you in my heart and soul

But really have no place

To be

As our roads are still

In separate lanes with

Your family tied to you

And mine tied to me

You’re lost and wonder

Where you are

My brother has a family

And a life 8 hours from me…

I’m praying our God

Takes care of you the way

You took care of me…

My heart is hurting

Knowing your Ill

But little can I do

As I’m aging along

With you..

God will bring us

Back together

In eternity…

Has made my day enjoyable

As the Sun is hidden

Behind heavy clouds…

Making me think March

Has a few more cold and

Windy days before giving

Way to a Springy April…

my blog posts

Are only read by me as I proofread

Before hitting the post button…

I’m therefore finding a few

Misspellings, inverted letters

And misplaced punctuations

Although I find my thoughts

Remain the same and my

Memories bring

Me happiness…

When come to my mind

As subjects pop up in

Daily living that take me back

To a different time

With the same theme, subject

Or feeling coming to mind…

At 74 I have a lot of memories

Times with my grandparents, cousins

Parents, brother and sisters…

My husband and kids

And six grandsons…

My mind is like Turner Classic

Movies and I like to write them down

So my children and grandchildren

Can learn about or remember

Some wonderful times of our lives

As we pass on as our parents and

Grandparents did following the

Unwritten book of our lives…

I write about my thoughts, opinions

And beliefs along the way hoping

To keep things positive yet real

And not like a goody, goody

Christmas news letter where all

Is beautiful and wonderful…

Even in the Christmas movie

“It’s a Wonderful Life” the days

We’re filled with up and downs…

But airing some bad days it’s

My ways of documenting so as

Not to repeat them…Make it Real…

Or Forget about It…as Rob Thomas

Sings…

Now as I write, hubby is emptying

The dishwasher, usually my chore

But as retirees he realizes that

Household chores belong to both

Of us…

Who would of thought life at

This age would find us happy with

Our life, and togetherness…

Watching him accept my new

Kitchen lights and putting things

Away as I’ve organized them…

My grandmother told me she started going

To daily Mass when my grandfather

Retired as he started rearranging

Cupboards, and cooking after 50

Years of marriage.,,

We went through the retirement

Adjustment, and have somehow

Come though with more love

Without too many bruises…

I go to McDonalds every morning

Alone…

He gets up hours before me and is

Ready for long conversations which

I feel are lectures…

So my run for Sweet Tea is my way

To adjust to the day…

He likes to run the sweeper

I can’t stand the noise so I have

Asked for Robot sweepers

For Christmas…

I watch TV on my phone with

Earbuds so he can have the

Big TV for all his sports and news…

Just as well as my Netflix’s have

Words he doesn’t like hearing

Therefore questions my choice

Of viewing although a lot of sports

Players’ mouth bad words that the

TV cameras usually always catch…

I guess his hearing is more sensitive

Than his vision…

Crazy things I find funny and

Cute if not

Nuts about the

Love of my life…

Seems to be my view of things…

As aging marches on

Shades of gray in my thinking

Turns back to B&W

Realizing gray is a way of

Putting a glaze on right or wrong…

Graying the situation is a way of staying

Neutral when an issue is clearly

Black or White…

Raising children with

A grayish point of view

Isn’t giving them a clear position

On right and wrong…

Is Virtue gray…

Is Sin gray…

Gray is a color

That is shady

And needs to

Be described as such…

It’s a clouded color

Not sharp…

Not Definite…

Not Black or White…

To understand the feelings

Deep inside

Thoughts that constantly

Stir…take space

In the mind…

Think living right

Yet arrows pierce the heart

Knowing that unkindness

Is always lurking in the dark

Places of the soul that can’t

Find closure in wrongs

Endured…

Lent is approaching

Reading

To try to get closer

At least in touch with the

Almighty who watches over

Trying to follow

The path He designed

Yet wander off

As anger always

Burns…

And seems to ignite

More readily the older

Years get…

Is a phrase I understand

More fully everyday…

This Pandemic has added to the

Lose at a greater speed with aging…

We are staying put to stay safe

Meaning we are moving less

And socializing has ended…

I’m becoming use to it I guess

And enjoying the life of a hermit

Which all say is not good

At 74…

Reading, playing scrabble,

Interacting on social media with

Those I can’t put a face too keeps

My mind going, but missing my

Kids and grandkids…

Every time we decide

To interact a new family member

Gets the virus…

The world will end for many

Of the aged if this pandemic

Doesn’t soon end…

For those aging in place

It’s a ticking Armageddon

That we face…

Is not my mantra

I need my sleep although

My Dr has me on mega Mgs

Of Vitamin D as she says I’m low…

But darkness and sleeping are my favorite

Past time since my environment

Doesn’t include a sunshine soaked

Beach…

Listening to the news today

Makes me really think

The Republican Party has no

Platform and only speaks

of revenge…

Offering no real thoughts

Of helping people

Our falling infrastructure

No climate worries which even

A blind man can feel the

Change that the Republicans

Refuse to see…

Being retired I worry for

Our birthed generation and their’s

That we won’t be around to help

If there is possible help to be had…

Trump spews like the smoke

From trucks on the highways

Having no care for others as they

Go along with their merry lies

Dirtying all standing in the way…

Have a lot in common

As you try to put them

All together

To build your family tree…

They link or butt up against

Each other in smooth

Or jagged connection…

With the elder and deceased

Usually cemented in place

With their notches formed

Honed and wearing at the edges…

New members are added

As their life unfolds… forming

branches or notches

As they forage through life…

Death…

Divorce and DNA results change

The path like a journey

With detours and dead ends…

The tree takes root

A Picture is formed

And begins to grow…

together as new members

Add more vibrancy

And movement to the tree

Aging fades sad and happy events

Giving a clearer picture

Of the family we know….

Are my two favorite shopping places…

My Ace is like having Siri at my

Beckoning call the moment I

Walk through their door…

How May I help you…show them

The part in my hand and they take

Me to the right aisle and make sure

It’s the right part and even give me

Tips for the install…

Now Amazon covers everything else…

With Siri at my beckoning call too…

A pandemic has been a bit of a plus…

Staying home and shopping online

I can shop Ace and pick up curbside…

Talk about having Nationwide

At my side, I now have Amazon and

Ace on my side …

Not sure why

Guess the bathroom was calling

No he traveled farther then that

Now hear him on the stairs

Could he be heading upstairs

To watch the game…

Now I hear him walking all over

Upstairs…

Not understanding his intensity

He’s back down stairs…

Oh now I get it

He’s trying to get more steps

On his Fitbit…

The treadmill is downstairs

And it’s nice and cozy…

Oh I forgot…

He decided that we no longer

Needed 4 cable boxes

Since we are empty nesters…

So he’d have to stream the football

Game on his phone…

The TV in the basement has to be

Over 20 years old and not

A smart TV..,

Will have to get a new TV

Down there so I can watch

My PBS All Creatures Large

And Small on my comfy couch

In my family room…

So now we’ll have 2 cable boxes

1 Fire Stick

And a cable from my

IPad to a new Smart TV…

Will need my grandson

To do the logistics when

He gets home from college…

Now need to plan around

Spring Break…

Sending cookies and money

To College grandson. $$$

Having him hook up my electronics

When home…Priceless!!!

What a name…

Yet what a

Rock Star…

He’s gone and I’m sad

He made a mark

In the music world

And coined the Rock Opera…

RIP. Meatloaf…

A good day…

My mind is all over

Everyday is feeling like

Ground hogs day again

I shouldn’t be around anyone

Because I just feel like screaming…

This Covid is roaming our world

Like a terrorist knocking

On everyone’s door

Causing families to

Stay away from each other

And yet life goes on…

I’m sick of it!

Maybe we all need

To wear a mask

Vote out Morons in government

Who only want the spotlight

To make themselves richer

And care little about their fellowman…

Voting is our right…

No taxation without representation

Started our great nation…

Now people think not everyone

Should be able to vote…

What make them experts

Do they really believe

All these lies…

Of 74…

Not 3/4 of a century yet

But will ring in the

Year of 2023 with that in mind

And hope this year will find

Covid taking leave of us

So I can celebrate my 75th

With my family all together…

But with 74 tripping

Upon me tomorrow my thoughts

And blessings are many…

A few family members have gotten

The virus and luckily with the

Vaccine have come though ok…

My heart aches for those families

Who weren’t so lucky…

I’m thankful for Pres. Biden

Who has done better already

Than the orange haired

Wannabe but never could

Be even a statesman

With his self-center view of this

Great Great Country…

I’m sad that churches had to stop

It’s parishioners from going to church

But could never keep them from God..:

My thoughts always have Him

At their core…

My mother has been gone 50 years

As I am turning 74 and for

That I am both sorrowful and blessed…

Too young to be without a mother

And knowing as she left her youngest

Would depend on me to nurture her

From that day forward…

She prepared me well and in hindsight

I realize she left the best of her

With me and mine… making me

Realize the opportunity and blessing

For mine to witness the addition of

An aunt in their everyday life which

Soon became an older sister which

Is an inseparable bond…

Im thankful to the man I married

For his constant love and caring

And the father to our children,

His great way of providing and

His unending love…

Thankful for my children

Who always make me proud

And the six boys that call me

Gramma…

My daughter and son’s in laws

Who have added to our team

I’m thankful for their love

Of mine and their unending caring…

During times of fearfulness

Our family has endured and

With God in their hearts

They will carry on far beyond my years…

Thankful for 74…

As time keeps marching on…

…

Or rather challenge…

Cleaning out our large

Walk in closet…ugh…

Stay tuned…I’ll let you

Know how that turns out…….

Cleaning out while hubby

Is around it not good…

He won’t throw out anything…

Closet just looks rearranged

Not purged…

I would say he is a hoarder.::

To love to do

Especially when a pandemic

Hits…

It takes you away

To distant places

Stimulates your mind

Gives you topics

Of conversations

Increases your knowledge

And gives more understanding

Of Gods Word…

By the previous discription

One can see my reading takes

On a wide scope…

Current events, religion, mysteries

And other books that come

Across my Amazon Kindle daily…

Some things I only skim for info

Others I can’t put down once I begin

Still other sit by my chair and I

Read a few chapter at a time when

The mood strikes..:

I enjoy the page turners best

Usually sitting still for hours

Until the last page…

With my short term memory

Beginning to be a problem

I tend to read chapters

Over and over if I put the book down..:

I’m also known to buy a book twice

And half way through, know,

I’ve read it before…

I don’t admit this often

Doing so gives creedence

To the fact I’m aging and my

Mind is slipping…

Who owns up to the that? Or

Wants to?…..

A

Cs

Not my favorite weather anymore

But much better than storms and rain…

That are really a pain when

The sump pump goes no stop…

Today it’s cold and brite

Making for a happy day to stay inside…

I got a new pair of red

And white aSherpa boots that I’m excited

To try out

So off to McDs I go in the

Cold and frosty snow..:

They are so warm

No socks needed

Got them on Amazon

$30 including tax and shipping..,

I knew I’d love them

As I have them in black and white

To match the coat I got

For Christmas.,.

The bottoms are my favorite part

As they keep me safe with their

Rugged sole…

As I’m a falling soul…

Anything to help me

Remain upright has to be a blessing

In my Retired guy’s eyes!

Today…

No thoughts, ideas or dreams

To disclose…

So…a good day to catch up

On housework and things that

Get put on hold

When words

Rush in…

I’m rubbing my eyes

Signaling it’s time

To head up to bed

Where my RG has already retired

And my dreams await…

Never knowing

What dramas will unfold

Throughout the night…

Will It be memories

Or…like a murder she wrote

Maybe A scene straight from Hitchcock

I never know…

Will wake up tomorrow

With a head full of thoughts

But never will know

Till I tiptoe to bed

And let the dream projector

Start rolling

Inside my head…

And some are empty of words…

But when the days hit and words

Are on overload I can’t stop

Putting them to paper

Or in this case, on line…

On days such as these My RG

Asks what I’m doing as I’m

So intent…

I say I’m writing

He goes back to what he’s doing

And seems content with my answer…

He always knows once I get it written

I usually read it to him as he is my greatest

Critic and only audience…

Retirement has given us both

A new occupation in life…

Being a one person audience, critic,

Taste tester, object finder, experts to each

Other on that which we don’t understand…

Shoe tying wizard, getting his waders

I’m his computer, I phone, ski jacket out

on expert, barber extraordinaire…

and he’s my………………

………………………………I’m thinking…………

Thinking………Oh yeah, My Retired Groom!

My RG made a Turkey burger

For dinner but since His RB is

Intermittent fasting…at least attempting…

Anyway at 4:30 I became famished

With no desire for anything in

Particular…

This usually leads to bingeing on…

Sweets…

Not today…I’m down another 2 lbs

And I’m motivated by the scales drop

To eat as planned…

Since I’m a fast food junkie

My mind raced to all the drive-ins

That are close…

Was thinking tacos…

But once at the menu board

I remembered the Famous Bowl

That KFC had and I was hooked on

Back in my working days…

Mashed potatoes and gravy

Covered with corn and topped

With bits of KFC…

Yes, I’ll take that when the girl

Asked for my order…

Heading home I realized my

RG would most certainly want some

As he’s never seen this before…

Sure enough as I opened my dinner

And he got a whiff… he was like

A puppy begging for a bite…

I’m not good at sharing my food

So only one small bite was offered

And he gratefully accepted

Upon tasting he hurried back

For another bite and I begrudgingly

Gave in…

Some puppies bite…

Are a life saver on cold

And windy days…

Along with streaming

TV programs on my retired

Grooms phone…

Retirement especially in a

Pandemic can become boring

As we stay within our space

Watching the world go by

Even though not much is moving…

Another in the family has contacted

This lingering virus

Educating us to the fact

That many unvaccinated

Are keeping it going…

It’s very troubling that

In a prosperous and educated country

There are still those who hold

To archaic and mis information

Of those who spread doubts

And lies…History…

Seems to be a curriculum

That many in this nation

Have not studied or even

Bothered to read

Making all of us

Living through the

Repeat of it…

Where I get my feistiness,

Opinions, ideas of what should be,

How I react to others opinions,

Ideas of who I am, what I know is right,

Wrong, shady and absolutely how

To follow my gut…

My dad…talking to me daily

Till the day he died…

When there’s a question to be

Answered and I’m on the fence

I don’t remain there long…

I always remember dad saying, “that’s a

Good way to get shot from both sides”…

My parents had ways of speaking to me

In visual parodies that have stayed

With me through all the years

Since they left me at an early age…

My mother’s opinion on marriage

Was another good example that I

Have said to many young brides as they

We’re looking for their wedding gown…

Telling them that marriage is…giving up

Being admired by many to be criticized

By One…

their ideas and words Provoked

Much thought and eye rolling to the

Rose colored spectacled brides to be

I worked with on a daily basis…

Thankfully I owned the business

Or I wouldn’t have been employed long…

Another quip my mother gave me that

I repeated daily was Marriage is like the

Witness protection plan…You loose your

Name, your identity and can’t be found

In the telephone book…

Some of their insights were humorous,

Some a bit off beat but always spot on…

Their daily instruction was always,

Remember who your are and where

You come from…

Great advice to this Irish, Catholic, girl

Brought up in a small steelmill town

In Western Pennsylvania…

Instructions in my mind

Make one remember of the

List that always was her way

Things to do…yet many

Times just wishes, thoughts

That crossed her mind and stayed

Giving her another note

To put upon her list

The memories exist and

Make me wonder why

Her answer to me on

most requests

Was always…write it down…

Her way of documenting

Things needed, wanted

Or just whimsy

Writing it down

her way of making it exist…

As my retired groom was reading

His Bible today

A thought crossed his mind…

Maybe we need to look at our resumes

And see what needs updated…

I laughed…then pondered…

Would our resumes get us in

Heaven’s Door…

Would it?????

This thought needs further

Investigation and Bible

Perusing…

What skills and qualities

Are required…

My religious upbringing

Has given me the basics

Now we need to fine tune

To make sure we’re at least in

The Wings of the orchestra…of angels

I’m not looking for a golden palace

Up above…will gladly sing in the choir

Or just push a broom…