We are hunting today for the bag of Thomas’s English Muffins of which he had one for breakfast a couple hours ago. We’ve looked everywhere and he is sure I’ve done something with it. If I did I don’t remember. Our memories are progressing at the speed of light, downhill. It’s been an hour and they still have not turned up. Can’t wait to find them so one of us is off the hook for the dementia adjective. These are the games of this retired couple, that keep us moving, thinking and in constant love with each other.

8pm still no English muffins.

No muffins have shown up.

Yes, the muffins appeared today, on Easter.  Hubby said they were in the fridge, said he looked there,  must not have been wearing his glasses for 3 days.  So, our minds are intact but his glasses must be missing.  This is retirement with my retired guy, daily.

Bed time means something different to me than it does to my retired groom. Trying to keep my eyes open means bedtime to me. His bedtime is by the clock. Tonight he’s been asleep since 8:10 pm. When I wake him and say let’s go to bed, he says he not going to bed at 8:15. Its 9:15. I’m going up to bed. I’m not sure what time the clock has to reach before he agrees it’s bedtime but sure he will wake me when he gets into bed and then I’ll know tonights bedtime. Mine is pretty consistent. I like to get into bed before the sandman arrives.

During our days of retirement my guy comes up with new phrases that make me laugh.  Seldom do I know what they mean until he gives me an explanation. I will add to this post as time goes by. Some phases have no explanation.  Of course alot of my phrases come out of my mouth with a meaning that my retired groom has to interpret because my words are close but never on point

Here’s a few:

Patient Corvette – seeing a corvette behind a semi just patiently going the speed limit rather than gunning his engine and darting in and out of traffic to show his speed with his mighty machine.

I try to keep you from getting into trouble before you let words travel out but I guess I haven’t instructed you enough in my sign language.  You see, I took grandparenting classes at Northwestern, on our daughter’s request before our first one was born. In addition I had in-law grandparents and you only had 4 years of experience with mine.

Today my retired groom, your grandparenting skills are up in the air again.  I tried to head you off but like a freight train with a full belly of steam you barrel through.

Intrusions into others family life is what we become when we tread where we have not been asked to walk.  Our views are becoming archaic and unwelcomed. Grandparenting is to be only fun and games, when we are not in charge or opinions not requested.

Just giving you my best advice for the future in case I precede you to the promised land.

On our latest road trip my retired groom was up and down to breakfast by 7 am.  Me not till 9.  He fills the time with exercise in the fitness room or talking to anyone he comes in contact with while I sleep soundly, hibernating warmly under the covers.

This morning his audience were two of the hotel’s housekeepers that found themselves in the elevator with him as he was on his way back to our room.  He got their attention by asking them if they had a spray that would protect him from a sleeping bear.  They were all ears with his explanation of what he would confront when he opened our door. That would be me ~ his grouchy sleeping bear.

Of course he woke me with two wonderful muffins, the story he told the housekeepers and a handful of the little shampoo bottles that this hotel always provides to their guests.

His professional salesmanship has provided us a wonderful life and now that same gift of gab continues to serve him well.  Today his grooming kit is filled with those little bottles of shampoo that he loves.  And his sleeping bear got her 8 hours of sleep.                        Grrrrrrrrreat!

It could be anything.  These words are out of his mouth before he even knows what he’s missing.  Our latest road trip was a constant liturgy of “Where’s my?” I felt like a bobble head, searching for what he might be looking for.

The funniest search was  for his cell phone. We looked for 20 minutes and then he said “here”.  Call the hotel and see if I left my phone in the room.   I dialed the hotel without realizing I was using his phone that he just pulled from his pocket.  The same phone for which we were looking.

Just another 24/7 with my retired groom who is losing my mind along with his own.

Leaving paradise Is always bittersweet for me.  I love being a part of the ocean sounds and views and yet miss my home.  Since I can’t move the ocean I may need to relocate our home.

While attending a vacation seminar my retired groom came out with actuary predictions that his lifespan is about 8 years and mine a mere 10 years.  Well that shocking tidbit of info diverted my attention from the timeshare pitch to my bucket list. Immediately, I said give me the bottom line.  Cheapest price to buy is my interest NOW and I’m out of here. Wasting my last 10 years at this presentation, only LOOKING at the beach is wasting precious minutes of my 10 year timeline.  Dreaming is over….Doing is the verb for this retired bride now.  Doing for these next 10 years is my battle cry.  Doing, doing, doing.  I believe Nike has my new agenda in print.  JUST DO IT . . .and.         DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Spring break for us this year included a chance again to buy a vacation timeshare, in Myrtle Beach.

My retired groom never passes up a good deal.  Knowing that heaven to his retired bride is a 5***** star hotel on the beach, he always finds a way to take me there whenever he can. This year South Carolina was our destination at the original Springmaid Resort purchased by Hilton last year and rebranded as a Doubletree.  The property is only half-finished in its renovation but the 27 acres hugging the Atlantic is beautiful and the part that is opened was a wonderful oasis on the ocean at the quiet end of Mrytle Beach.

Sitting through a 2 hr sales presentation at Hilton’s newest resort, Oceans 22, was pleasant, although not for us.  From the 10th story condo’s floor to ceiling expansive glass view of the Atlantic Ocean, the coast appears as a skyline of high-rise resorts. This area does seem to be a more reasonably priced place to spend the cold winter months.

We walked the beach and later watched a large storm cell create mutiple tornado watches and warnings. This was the perfect place to get ready for the same change of seasons, a few weeks behind in our neck of the woods.

Waves and the ocean breezes are heaven.   But seeing the room service menu and realizing I could order a Tin of CHOCOLATE chip cookies with a bottle of milk, I knew my retired groom had really reach a new height in pleasing and pampering me.  He “Hung the Moon” over the Ocean for me this time.

April Fools.

My retired groom fell for this one hook line and sinker until I added that he nominated Hillary to be the VP.

LOL.

Leaving for vacation and I notice the headlight is out on his car.  No problem we’ll just go over to the dealership and have them install a new one.

2 hours later and an estimate of $340 for a new headlight and I realize a new question to ask before we buy a new car.  Like how much are lights to replace along with a few more concerning maintenance pricing.  Still have 1 payment left on the car and the headlight is more than the car payment. Now I know why they increased the mileage on the bumper to bumper warranties on new cars. Just put in a new battery yesterday for $189.  And now a headlight.  This could really sink a beach vacation if it weren’t already prepaid.

Guess the dealership thought they had us.  We made a call and drove 4 hours into our vacation and stopped at our daughters home.  Called the dealer in her town and got the headlamp installed at this dealership for half the price.  Still a lot, in my opinions, but better than the original estimate.

My dad always told me a car is not an investment.  It’s nothing but an expense. As usual his words always prove true. My retired HUBBY always asks if he has filled my dad’s shoes yet and examples like this and reiterating my dad’s words make him think no, not yet.  I never tell him my dad only wore a size nine shoe and he wore a size 10 1/2  when I met him 55 years ago.  In my eyes both of these men are the absolute best. And I’m sure their sons and grandsons will follow in their shoes.

Today is one of those days.  I miss her guidance I miss her love but most of all I miss her hugs.  It’s been a year today since she’s been gone to be with her David and her John.

I’ve packed my retired groom for years. Otherwise, he would have never made his scheduled flights.  Overnights, 2 weeks in China, no problem.  But since he retired he has taken over his packing.  Oh boy.  The outfits and the shoes that he just can’t go without make it hard for me to find a place to sit, both in our car or the limo to the airport.

I for one am glad for the luggage fees on planes.  First it makes us fly Southwest my favorite airlines..(2 bags fly free).  And second it makes him limit his wardrobe.

Before the fees, 3 bags plus golf clubs were the norm for him.  Me- one bag plus my carry on tote.  There was always a bag for his shoes.  My guy loves clothes.

Now, I try to list the clothes we need by day and try to explain color coordination so 1 pair of shoes can go with many outfits. As much as I try to monitor his packing we’ve had to take clothes and shoes out of bags and redistribute the weight so as not to be charged the overweight fee at the check-in counter. Although my guy isn’t unique as I’ve seen many people doing this same act of redistibution every time we fly.

Driving is another problem altogether.  He manages to bury more items as he packs the car.  But once we get on the road and I can calm down from the overpacking we always have a great time whether it’s a short jaunt or an extended sightseeing journey.  My retired groom is always ready to show me new sights and great places. But we always come back home with way more clothes then he could ever wear and he swears he is never packing so much again. Yeah, heard that before.

My guy loves to vacuum.  Me . . . not so much.

After spending time with his mom and her new vacuum he was on a search for the red Shark.   Now that we own it he loves to run it.

Like the lawnmower the vacuum has hours of operation.  Not before 9 am and it’s curfew is 8 pm.  It picks up wonderfully in fact it sucks up everything in its path. Funny how retirement has changed our roles and priorities.

This idea just makes me laugh.  The kids always thought their dad had some type of monitored on me because he could always track me down.

Yesterday I went shopping and because I walk with my hands in my pocket or push a cart, my fitbit didn’t pick up my steps. My retired groom suggested I put the fitbit on my ankle (see the picture below).  So I did. It is now picking up all my steps.  Today I’m doing laundry and since carrying baskets up and down steps tend to keep my arms stationary I usually don’t get my steps all counted. Now, with the fitbit on my ankle all my steps are being tracked.

Sometimes my retired groom has great ideas.  But I wonder what people might think when I start wearing Capri pants and sandals and the fitbit shows.  They could think I’m a criminal on the loose, or in my case just a retired bride being tracked by her retired groom.   LOL.

When we retired we made a bucket list which included going to D.C. to see the Cherry Blossoms in March. Somehow for the past 6 years they have bloomed without us being there.

I can’t believe how quickly time flies when you’re not working and everyday is like a Saturday.  We need to readjust our list as the blooms will be on there way out for 2017.

Hope this retired married couple complete the list before we kick the bucket.

When is this Madness going to be over?

The only positive thing about March Madness tonight is getting carry out at Noodles and Company.  Ok, his retired bride is happy now, so I’m watching Oregon and Kansas playing for the next bracket.  But really I’m playing Candy Crush on my phone.  Shhhhhh don’t tell.

NO-Not the prom. The month of March has college play-off games called March Madness. I would think when your team loses you’re out. Guess not. Bracketology then takes over.  So its Friday night and the retired groom can hardly keep his eyes opened but there’s another game that will fill another bracket. He can’t understand why when everyone is watching who is going to be at the big dance I would want to go to bed.

I explain, its like when we’re at a wedding and the band is in full swing and my dancing shoes are on and ready to go, he says its late, let’s get going. His feet hurt and I say just mosey over to the bar and soak your feet with a couple of drinks. If he can walk 18 holes of golf then a few dances should be easy. He asks how many and I say 2 fast dances and 2 slow unless the electric slide comes up, then that one too. We make it through 2 fast and one slow, and then we do the stroll out to the car. We just aren’t sock-hoppers anymore.

I’m not sure how in this past presidential election, a husband and wife holding opposite views could make very happy bedfellows.  This election has encompassed many issues that have grabbed many by their core.  Their christian values, their feminine views, their racial opinions not to mention the worries of health care and unemployment.

Through this distasteful and upsetting battle of candidates and platforms, I realized that my mother’s words, “the more you have in common the easier the marriage will be,” proved so true to me.

Falling in love doesn’t always find the easiest path but sharing the same faith and following the Greatest Commandments of loving God and Your Neighbor as Yourself have proved to be a great foundation in this marriage.

I can see the sadness in his eyes as he watches the news today about an American man being killed and his wife injured on their 25th wedding anniversary trip to England.  His sadness is twofold.   His heart is aching for the woman who just lost the love of her life and the fear that it has stirred up for the country.  He also sees the determination in my eyes as I again become resolute about never traveling abroad.

My retired groom has traveled all over the world for his job. He wants to show me the Great Wall of China, the Effel Tower, the Changing of the Guards at the Buckingham Palace, and of course Hungary, Poland and Ireland the birthplace of our grandparents.  These terrorist attacks just deepen my feelings that I’m only interested in seeing sights in the land of my birth even though 9/11, has made me realize that no one is safe from those who don’t value life, not even their own.

Our other impediments to traveling are: trains, planes and automobiles not to mention boats.  I don’t want to fly over water and my retired groom doesn’t like the idea of floating with a motor on ocean waves.  I don’t understand how a tube with wings, weighing tons, with me inside can stay in the air and he sees every cruise ship as another Titanic.  So until we can come to some understanding  we will be sightseeing in the land of our birth by way of the trusty wheel.  Although we aren’t looking forward to seeing Trump’s Wall.

Who would think a new electronic gizmo could make 2 people laugh and enjoy a late evening so much?

Let me begin by explaining that I bought the Echo Dot, after seeing the advertisements on TV.  Got it home and we all had fun with it over Christmas.

But like all new gadgets it has sat on the shelf with little use since the holidays. Then I realized I could listen to audio books on it so up to our bedroom it went.

Last night as I told Alexa (the voice of Echo Dot) to wake me at 8 am and to play ocean sounds until I fell asleep, my husband enter the room and decided to have Echo play music.  For the next two hours we went from DooWhop through the 50s, 60s, 70s and then continued to reexamine our memories of Music Appreciation Classes with The Grand Canyon Suite, the Painted Desert to Peter and The Wolfe.  Our toes were dancing on the sheets and our voices were singing along to all our high school love songs.

Even this late in our years my retired groom manages to show me a fun date night.  It didn’t cost a cent and there was no need to worry about what to wear or even put on make up.  Oh yeah, he did run down stairs to get some wine.

Unexpected date nights seem to be the norm as these retired grandparents look forward to retiring to bed earlier and earlier these days.

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