Might
Over Right
Is never the way…
One should always
Err on the side that
One could be wrong…
It causes great fear
When the scream
Of being right causes
Great safety issues…
And one fearing
One safety is not
Of the greatest
Importance
Make one realize
To keep onself
Safe
and
Avoid the conflict…
This little piggy
Went to market
This little piggy stayed home
This little piggy had roast beef
And this little piggy had none
And this little piggy
Went we we we all the way home
I saw my toes moving
Not by my hand
And the sound of the voice
Brought back the memory
Of me in my crib
And Maury standing behind
Bars or maybe the slats of the crib
But I was in bed last night
Watching Lawrence (the last word)
When this happened
And felt something or
Someone
touching
My toes…
Was it a dream or a wonderful
Memory of childhood
With my sister
Or was she actually
Letting me know
She was ok and happy
By sharing this wonderful
Glimpse of a long forgotten
Time…
And watch as he
Cleans the kitchen…
I’m not lazy or embarrassed
To watch him do it…
I no longer cook
And haven’t since we
Retired…
He grocery shops too
Why
He loves it…
He spends more hours
In grocery stores than
On the golf course
Although spread over days…
I hate grocery shopping
Unless I’m baking…
Anyway…his cooking
Affects the whole of the
Kitchen
A simple peanut butter
Sandwich will cause him to
Touch all surfaces
So…
Cleaning up after
Is to me part of the
Cooking experience but
Not mine!!!
This time he
Saw an ant on counter
Sprayed repellant in his eye
So got the sprayer
from the sink
And sprayed his eyes
Now the oven
And micro
Won’t work…
So I get pulled out
Of bed at 8 am
To fix…
I come down water dripping
Off Cupboards
Obviously the
Stove wall
Etc. are soaked
Including outlet box…
It has to dry out
Before it will work…
Just another early
Morning with my
Retired Groom…
Tonight
40 years
Instead of
6 decades…
I’m on the phone
Who cares!
New problem
With My RG
Today he put his
Password into his
Phone more than
Once…wrong
Causing the phone
To be locked for
An hour
He was sure it was
A hacker…
Called xfinity
And Apple…
They said sorry…
You have to wait
The hour.:.
Older sister passes
You begin to realize
The days dwindle down
To a precious few…
realizing that
The time clock is now
Ticking in your pocket…
You’ve gone from
Being the youngest
To the middle
Now to the oldest
the next in line…
Which is fine
As these days
Dwindle to a prescious
Few…June, July……………
But I’m going to see
Leanne Morgan
In Fishers first…
With my grandpa
All of our youth
And he was always
The peace maker
Between sisters..
My sister had a large
Collection of vintage
period Dolls and
Our great- grandmother
Crochet beautiful
Outfits for some…
When Maury cleaned
Our room every Saturday
She would put out different
Dolls to depict the season, holiday
Month or color…
I loved the dolls but wasn’t
Allowed to touch them
According to my sister…
But when Maury was at school
And mom got sick of trying
To keep a 4/5 year old entertained
She would say go play with
The dolls in your bedroom
Closet…
When Maury got home she
Would find the dolls out of
Their boxes on the floor and
In various disarray of
Undress…
She would’ve
Run screaming to mom
At what I had done…
Mom would just say…
To take me upstairs and show
Me how to redress them and put
Them in the boxes and put
Them away…
Upon coming home from
Work my grandpa
Heard his HoneyGirl ( Maury)
Upset and crying and Me his
(Honey Bunch) being berated
And threatened…
Grandpa sat on the floor and
Helped Maury get all the
Dolls back together and put away
And told her that on Saturday
He would show her how
To solved the problem…
By the end of the weekend
Only the few dolls that decorated
Our dresser that I couldn’t reach
Were visible…
I could never figure out where
She hid them… there must
Have been 30/40 altogether…
One night when I was older
Maury told me that she and
Grandpa took his hats out of the
Hat boxes and keep all the dolls
In there on his higher shelves…
Out of sight out of mind…
And he bought me a Betsy wetsy
Doll that I loved…
Maury said they never told
Mom where the dolls were
As she didn’t honor Maury’s
Ownership and the care she
Gave to the dolls…
I’m sure grandpa told mom
But she never let on…
I looked everywhere
For those dolls but
Finally lost interest!!!
Yep Grandpa always had the
Best ways to keep peace and
Always had candy and cupcakes
To quiet the yelling…
Nights were always
Date night
Once my sister
Met Tom, she
Always managed to
Talk mom into a new
Outfit…
So when Tom picked her
Up I hurried and put
On the new outfit from
The weekend before…
I was about 15
When I walked into
The kitchen in her outfit…
Mom would just say
Make sure you get home
Before her and hang
It up in the right order…
My curfew was much
Earlier than her’s
Plus she never
Made a curfew…Never
Again tonight
Wondering if you’re
Okay…
If all we believe is true
Hoping you can
Let me know your ok
Happy and with Tom,
Mom and Dad and Billy…
For 77 years I’ve known
Where you were
And could call you at
Any moment…
The torment of not
Knowing is an act of Faith
I’ve been taught to believe
But right now
Not being able to reach
You is gut wrenching…
I’m so scared
Worrying that you might be too…
Faith is a scary thing
For me…I believe
But I’m scared
You never were
Never doubted and
Were ready…
Help me find the
Peace that I know
You have…
Has been gone 4 days
And my mind can’t
Go foreward
She’s in my thoughts
My words
My tears and
My heart…
It’s not a feeling of pain
But a longing of the
Childhood we shared
That no one
Can reminisce
Those wonderful times
So long ago…
Brought me to tears today
As I sat in line waiting
For my chicken sandwich
At Bueno…
Looking at the age spots
On my arm remembering
How my sister growing
Up hated the freckles
She had on her alabaster
Skin enhanced by her
Strawberry blond hair
I loved her freckles
I had none she therefore
Deduced I must have been
Adopted teasing me
Constantly…
When she went to college
She became our sunburn
Queen scorching her skin
Into the color of a red lobster
Thinking the freckles would
Disappear or fade to Tan…
As time moved forward
My sister Turned into
A beautiful swan…
She always kept her beautiful
Shape and sprayed silver
Into her hair to change
The strawberry to Platinum
Found make-up
And was soon voted the best
Dressed at college…
I continued on with my
Tan skin and dishwater blonde
Hair and she finally admitted
As she became a 3rd grade
School teacher that
I wasn’t adopted…
I’m praying that planet
Heaven is alot bigger
Than Planet earth
And my sister is not
In a waiting room…
I also hope they need an
Organist because she
Was the best…
Her feet would move
The wooden peddels
Underneath as fast
As her fingers would
Play the 3 and 4 levels
Of the organ
At Sacred Heart Church…
I had a birds eye view
Since I would sit in the
Balcony after school
As she practiced…
In 2nd grade I became
Part of the choir
And sang As she played
For the next 5 years…
For most of the time
I remember her stawberry
blonde sausage curls
Bounce and sway to
The loud and majestical
Music she performed
Under a little caplet veil
Bobbie pinned to her hair
As the head had to be covered
In church in those days…
She was a stickler for rules
And would put a piece of
Kleenex under my headband
In compliance..
On the way home from
Practice we would stop
At the convent that sat
A few blocks over from the
Church and a few blocks down
From our house to get any
Last instructions from
Sister Charles on any new
Music for weekend masses…
Sister always had new sheet
Music for Margy as sister
Liked to call her
And Maury would always
Sit down at Sister’s baby grand
And play the new song
Then she would take it
Home and memorize
It before bedtime…
Our grandpa was an Irish
Tenor and would sing as she
Played and then he would finish
Supper dishes so she could
Keep playing…
She never seemed to
Tire of playing…
I used to go to sleep
To her music and then
Wake to it if she had a
Recital that day…
She always had recitals
We traveled all over the
Diocese on the weekends
With a penguin or two
In the back seat with Maury…
Billy played too but never
Loved it like she did…
I did too but my passion
Just didn’t like the discipline…
With our brother
Mom and dad and her
Beloved Tom…
My heart is heavy
My tears are flowing
For the voice that is silent
And stories untold..
We shared a room
Through childhood
Married and were seperated
By miles
But the love and
Heart that ties us
Will be forevever
Bound…
Love you Maury
See you soon!
Important to one
Are not important
To the other…
Feelings and impending
Death take all my
Senses to cope…
Ongoing stupidity
Of caretakers with
No consequences or control
Of actions along with
No say in the matter
Make me realize I
Must let go…
Then adding lasagna
To the mix
Blows my mind…
Could understand
The nastiness…
upon waking
With no warning
Or reason
Some feel its lack of
Control
Others feel fear
Of aging and no longer
Understanding
But those it attacks
Lack understanding
And patience…
peaceful
And painless as she wants…
Hospice and her kids
Are there
She’s sleeping more and
Eating little
Fading away
In her home she has shared
With her husband and
Kids for 57 years..,
Birthday tomorrow 6/21/42
83 is a long life
18 without Tom
The crush of her life…
I’m sad but prepared
Aging changes hope
Into reality
at some point we all
Go…ashes to ashes…
Is very low today
Trampled on
Discarded
Bleeding…
Are feelings
Right/wrong
At this age of life
Yes/no
It seems only the
Heart can decide
The one being trampled…
I’m alone
Not invited
To something I should
Have been included in…
He really
Doesn’t understand
The hurt
My father would ask
Sitting there all alone
Either withering
Or artificial…
They only serve to
Make the placer feel better
And are a show piece
That they were there…
Whether delivered by guilt
Or love is never really the point
You can knock but no one
Answers…
You can talk but again
No one speaks
You come to find answers
You’ll never get or
Never hear…
Why?
They aren’t there…
Doing any improvements
In our home over the
Last 20 years has been
A nightmare…
A kitchen redo
Took 1 1/2 years including
Fraud…
Then new siding and
A new roof taking half
A year because the insurance
Company hired a bad
Couple of contractors…
Now family room
carpet…
A month of having our
Home upset as the carpet
Has stain and lines of
Darker colors making
The carpet looks like the old
Carpet we pulled up
Hoping this gets settled soon…
Left the front burner
On last night…
Came down
At Midnight to find
Pan hot as hell
With lid on
And a plastic
Spatula starting to
Melt…
Features adds much
To a conversation
Request
Argument
And daily communication
Hoping
These traits take
On a softer sound and image…
See this continuing
Not eating
And the care
Being paid
For just
Isn’t there…
Life
Doesn’t make
Decisions
That put us
Between a rock
And a hard spot
But life has
A way of shaking
Everything out
With God’s will…
Is happening fast
My legs aren’t holding my
Mass
My gut is rotting
With leaking and pain
My future
I feel is waining…
Is the feeling
In my heart and soul
Today
Why I’m not sure
But A pretty good
Inkling sits in my gut…
Responsibility
Is not acknowledge
With flowers…
Say alot
Last night’s smile
Was so uplifting and
Genuine…
It radiates on his face
Maybe just maybe
The tide has turned…
I think its funny
That he leaves
Long and extended
Voice mails
For his brother
Telling me he does
This so he’s making
A record about his mom…
His brother doesn’t
Listen to them
And erases them
As soon as they talk…
What a waste of
Time….
Is driving me crazy
My RG
Speaks everything he thinks
And does outloud
Making my thoughts
Intertwine with his
Constant updates
On Medicine, Trump,
Mulch, Treasury bonds
Food, grams uti’s,
Home a half hour
Car parts, Kureg and all
His phone calls and I’ve been
Up an hour
Now “did I take my meds
And what was I doing, did
I pay Nationwide…
He is using my memory
To keep himself going
As he’s using up my mind
To back up his…
I need ear plugs
Not hearing aides….
It’s hard to believe
All I’ve said
It’s hard for me to..
To have said it
I should have called
This all out when it occurred
But never thought
You’d believe
There’s even more…
And tonight I feel you don’t…
No one has caused me more
Harm, hurt and humiliation
And I know no-one
is on my side other than
The 4 who have lived it
With me…
This type of love is not
What I was brought up on…
Tonight I feel alone
And while your head
Hurts my heart is dying
With the love I thought
I had…
But guess never did…
Toward me is not
Understood…
Living like I’m
A curse to your family
Even now to the end
through one
And for some reason
Heard often through
Another
It make going on
Hard…
At the way one acts
can’t even
Have a car trip without
The interruption
obsession
With eating, weight loss
When paying for the care…
Very little care
For others in the car
To go first
Is something to wonder
When the time spent
These last 10 years
Were split
During a time
Meant for
who…
Being alone
Is a learned habit
From being left
So many times…
Giving one space
Has not given the other
The required acknowledgement
Needed to continue…
always waiting
Waiting now to go home
Intime for golf tomorrow
Not for me today…
Importance is always
One way
Never flowing in the other
Direction…
Said Recently..:
Brings me back
About 40 years
To a phone call
Given as a
Warning…
Come to light
The awful thing
Stirs again…
The song
Come Home Come Home
Its Suppertime!
On TV every night
At Dinner time
Dad was home
Shortly after…
Rex Humbard on TV
Drives me crazy…
We’re never on the same track
Wondering if we’re
Even going in the same
Direction…
Our conversations
Boggle my train of thought
As we are both
Wondering what the other
Is saying…
Think the trains of thoughts
Just can never jump the tracks
Or travel at the same time
Line or speed…
These trains need
Tune ups or
Are becoming obsolete…:
My day watching soaps…
As he goes to golf course
While I clean up the
Kitchen…
Do a load of laundry
And he chases
A ball for 2 hours…
Seems the ball
Watching is more
Important
Than
TV watching
For this
Old couple…
He who isn’t wasting
Time
Cast the first
Ball..
What one reads
Can help stop arguments…
Feels one can’t be wrong
But my reunion
And said to rsvp
By 8/23 not order dinner…
Determined he read right
Me having to show him
He’s wrong…
Important???
Yes/No
But needing to stop
His always rightness
Priceless…….
Inherited
How are three in
The family suffering
From the same
Disease…PD
Daughter, sister, cousin
Same blood link
Through father
Praying
Alziemers
Doesn’t follow
The same pattern…
Grandfather, aunt, brother…
Although blood line
Is from both
Side with the latter…
No….
Causes extreme eruption…
Over cooking
Which goes on
24/7
The extreme mess
In the kitchen is
Not my way of cooking
Won’t be bullied
Upon coming
Downstairs first thing…
About 15 feet from
A window about 26 years
Ago gave me a new
Perspective on how time
Can slow down…
Is heavy today…
Someone I love
Feels like the ball
Instead of the Louieville
Slugger…
Are Long
Nights are wrong
My heart is blue
What to do…
Is limited
5 minutes
Out of the day
Make the delay
Life threatening…
It causes this
Heart to feel
Unimportant…
Friend and workmate
Even though 90
Hurts the same…
Many memories
Parties, dinner, dancing
Wedding, bestman
Moving help
And years of working
Together…
Memories forever
With a Trump interruption
And a good friend
Gone…
Feeling really odd today
No pain
Just dizzy
And shakey
Odd feeling…
Wish you were home…
As I see the compass
And you aren’t here…
13 years ago
This began
Continues…
With an end
far or near
the one gone
Could be you or me
What a toll
This has taken
On you and me…
And raving
Will never get my ear…
Sweet nothings
Tickle but don’t
Activate my body and soul
To act…
And to my vision and mind
Activate another soul
Other than flight or flight
In a way to get away
From the maniac
Trying to force compliance
In a threatening
Or imitated sweetening way …
March Days
In this area…
Mostly grey and cold
Making the landscape
Look dreary and old…
Every piece of junk
Around a home makes
The outside
Look messy and unkempt…
As I take small rides around
To get a glimpse of of what’s new
But not today
It’s…
just too darn dreary and blue…
I wish would begin
A bit different
Maybe with a song
Maybe with a smile
But a problem is the beginning
Of each day…
Seldom large
Just a bit irritating needed
To be shared…
Not love
Not hatred
Just fear…
Is a question
Heard something
In a letter out of a mouth
never heard before…
Yes it was provoked
But was a shock none the less
Over everything scares me
Every topic can inspire
The drama that can
Turn nasty at the drop of a
Dime…
Most say its nothing new
Though the volume has intensed
With age
When a call comes from
St Pauls
But enter the kitchen
While his masterpieces
Are coming together
Is something you do
At your own risk!
I stay out…totally away
And if kitchen
Looks like a bomb exploded
I don’t eat what looks so good
For fear he thinks I’m
An explosive engineer and
Cleanup organization…
I retired long ago
And will head to Bueno Beef
For a grilled chicken
Sandwich rather than
Feel obligated to clean up the
Mess and all the grease
Like I always did in our
Youthful days…
Funny how living together
Through old age
Has turn the tables…
Communicating with others
As you begin to age
Needing help
Yet not wanting to accept
Or ask…
Things I no longer
Want to do or even can do
Work on my mind daily…
Then things hubby wants
Me to do bug me more…
As my time ticks down
My thoughts go into
Dismal places as to what lies ahead
For me…
Do I love
The things that are good
For me to the point
That I overindulge
And makes me sick…
Like these new chocolate
MetaMucil wafers
Weird!
It make me wonder
It makes me think
Why would anyone
Stop and sink
A vote for such an
Awful Fink!!!
Left to simmer on back burner
Never put first and foremost
Not even for the first hour home…
Life is important
Drowning in remnants of
Bits of time make for a sad life…
Someone else calls
Who gets the boot
One starts to feel unneeded,
Unwanted, in the way…
Other’s birthdays so important
This one not so much
The heart gets heavy
The heart slows down
Wondering who will go first
And will this one be missed…
Did not go well…
Because of my coughing
They had to stop
As my numbers
Plummeted and soared…
BP over 200
Oxygen 0
I think the tight strap around my
Necked that wasn’t explained
But just strapped around
By male nurse
Before proceeding
Elevated me into panic…
And my body went to flight
Or fight mode shutting down
My airway…
Sounds like the Jaw thrust
Had to be used for 4 minutes
To get an airway opened…
Explains welts on neck and
Swelling and pain as if dealing
With swollen glands…
Has made me realize
Not every surgeon is
Great
Hiatal Hernia surgery
Will not be on my bucket
List nor will getting my
Knees replaced…
Have to really think
About what I really need
At 77…
Time to recover is not
On my side…
And sadness resides in my heart
One feels so good
The other…
Tears me apart….
My daughter’s test was good
My best friend’s
Not…
God is my go to
I’m giving this to Him
To keep my heart beating
With Good News
And holding it all in His Hands
So the bad news
Resolves
With His Will
In His time…
Time is not
Over rated!!!
Weak today
Why…who knows
He is seeing how
Blessed he is to
Have these last
Weeks with her
She’s heading to the
Staircase
In her own time
At God’s will
Keep her comfortable
And safe
In their haste
They don’t unbderstand
Her as you do
Why now…
A question that
Never crosses her mind
Yet I’m the kind
That sees &
Hears
And wonders why…
There’s enough distruction
The world…
Why is bringing
It close to home
Now…
In your plan
I’m angry
I’m sad
Why Are you mad
With this corner of our
World
That inflicting pain
Worry and fear
Makes sense
To You
Doors positioned
To provide
Some protection…
Make me see
And feel the fear
Again…
When I wasn’t there
I never thought
She wasn’t safe…
For loved ones of another..
Hard to comprehend
The recklessness
Of those who should
Carry respect…
Yet don’t give or
Deserve…
And whose
Punishment
Resides in another
Place and time…
Life is precious
Crossing a line
Unforgivable…
Is in my mind daily
Is that how one
Starts a book…
My book has been written
Right now contains 76
Chapters..:
With 77 on its way
As I stumble each hour
Of the day…
My legs are in pain
My sight has been fixed
But my mind wonders
Constantly to the end…
When will I go
On my own
Or God’s way…
I ponder this
Now
Everyday
Watching her
Wither away…
My mother said
The day you die
Is the happiest of days
Pain, worry and sadness
Are taken away..:
I pray for her daily
As I know her better
Than any that she’d
Never have chosen
This way…
Yet there she sits
On our camera
And in her mind
I can feel her words
Screaming; as would mine
Why God,
Why this way…
To see the mess that is made
Yet no view of clean up
In anyone’s sight but me…
My body is no longer
In the marathon of
Cleaning that used to drive
Me from morning til night
And after work
Well past midnight…
Those days are gone
No more to return
As the brain is weary
The muscles and bones
Degenerating with age
My future is dim
And going back
There’s no turn around lane
Forging forward
Is the only path
As the sun sinks
And my body
Begins to stink
With age….
Heart ache
Mind thought
Deep soul search
Need becomes
Obligation
Not wanting…
Timing
An
Exit
Never can forget that night…
He answered the phone
As I rocked our youngest
Seeing his face
With such sad eyes
Brought tears to mine…. Not yet knowing…why
He held out the phone
And turned away
Knowing the words
My dad was about to say
Your mom just died….
We don’t know why
But she’s gone
You need to come home right away
She died on the floor
Beneath the Christmas tree
January 2…46 years ago
50 years 1/2/2022
Seems like a dream now… to me
She was tired when we left
After our family holiday
But never expected she would be
Gone the next day
She told me so much
In the two weeks before that day
Things she kept inside… Now feeling she just had to say
There will be she said…
A funeral soon… I’m seeing my parents here every night and day … though long ago they passed away
Was she letting me know these were the last of her days
As I laid on her bed she kept
Talking away…
It was the 15th Christmas
In our house…..she designed
The drive home….
Just a flash in my thoughts
Even though we were eight or more hours away
We got there at five
Went to where she was laid
Never dreamed I would
Be seeing my mother this way
She was beautiful and calm
Perfectly placed…
With no movement… no words
No smile on her face…
Her makeup was perfect… Her hair just her way Her glasses sat like she just fell asleep On this couch after a long… hectic day
As this daughter approached This beautiful box
Knelt down at her side
And cried on her cheek… That was blushed a pale pink
I am 23 years…you are 32 more
At such a young age
Why are we here in this place
Within 2 hours
Everyone…
She knew stood in line….for hours… To see her just one more time
The morning
Before…
They closed her away
We kissed her and hugged her
And touched her once more
My tears fell
My heart quaked
I cried and called out to her…
Begging her to wake…
The funeral was beautiful
She wanted all White
The Mass of the Resurrection
Was her request
And her right
Putting her into the ground
I will never forget
She hated the cold
And it was freezing that day
Later that evening I stood by her grave A mound of brown dirt In a cemetery of hundreds Blanketed with sparkling snow Nothing was visible…she seem all alone
Six feet down
Under all the funeral flowers
Frozen in place
In below zero weather
Never more would I see
My beautiful mother
….Then I remembered
We forgot her warm coat
I think of that now…
And still cry
Everytime that it snows…
*jcs
Did you take up my gifts…
Some of them…
Did the cookies come…
I don’t know…
It’s Christmas Eve
You’re there
He isn’t
Making our time
The brothers continue
On edge again…
Is a bit hectic
But now that age
Has set in
Kids are grown
This Santa’s helper
Has taken off her running shoes
Shut down her Christmas baking
And only shops
Through Amazon…
Cataract removal
Shots in the knees
And bi- weekly therapy
Has interrupted most
Of my days
The gallbladder removal
Earlier this year is
Still giving me some
Trouble with eating
And planning my day…
Thankfully our kids
Have a good hands on
And our family will be together
At Sue’s and Lynne’s
For Christmas…
Carpeting for the family room
Will be our gift to each
Other as 24 years of living
Have put some ripples in
This flooring although it
Still looks good…like this
Aging couple with a few
Wrinkles due to age!
Daily
About one thing or another
His time away from me
Has given us space
That is not benificial
To us…
Hurt is the feeling
When I don’t have
The same time
Or attention as others…
Gives us torment
Especially at night…
3am your heart starts pounding
Waking you out of sleep…
You put your hand on you chest
You can feel it
echoing in your brain
Thinking of waking husband
Then realize…he’ll call
An ambulance…
If it’s a heart attack?
Will I come back from it
Better than I am now?
I doubt it
So why go to the hospital…
Say an act of contrition
And leave it in God’s hands…
Just go back to sleep
Counting the beats
Like God’s sheep…
I wonder why they
Constantly torment
Each other…
This time
No room in car…
Brothers!!!!!
Yet nothing is enough…
Giving him absolute time
Yet can’t return the same
Knew when surgery was
Yet took the out when offered
Not realizing the importance of
Commitment…
Kind of the same example
3 people in a sinking boat
Who gets the life jacket …
I know the answer better
Than anyone…
At the later years is hard
Worried about him traveling
Alone
But can’t travel with him
He can’t divide his time
Or attention when with her
I understand and therefore stay
In my domain
And family is worse then
Riding the rapids…
Can’t talk to anyone
Any leak will hurt and
Cause more problems…
I shouldn’t be here
I shouldn’t have been
Brought into the middle
Yet here I am
The only voice
And someone with none…
Is beyond me…
His idea of getting things
Together and done
Is to pull it all
Out…have it all over
Then decide to cook…
Wrapping paper and gifts
On table
Computer
Pie crust dough and cans
Of cranberries on counter
I can’t exist in this chaos…
If I straighten up
He’s behind me starting
Something new…
Now watching EKU on his
Phone….
Just another day
And we’ll
Be away
As I stay, he’ll
Be with his mom for a
Few days
I return SOLO.,..
Yeah!!!
I’ve tried them all
The leg pain
Is unbearable…
The risk of dementia
Bothers me…
Dementia is in the family
Drugs increasing the risk
Is not something
I care to introduce…
Children of God
Through Baptism and
Belief in Jesus Christ…
Since God made Adam and Eve
The first children of God
And we are the offspring
Adoption seems out of the question to me…
Granted that the Jews
Were the chosen
We were still from
The One…
I know it’s splitting words
But…
It seems like a new teaching
To enable belief….
Are an obsession with me…
For 30 while working I got
Acrylics every 3 weeks with
Fill ins now and then…
I loved them and they kept my
The nails
From being eaten up by the
Threads that used to cut my nails
To the cuticles daily…
Fashion design was my calling
And sewing was the vehicle
To design…
After retirement I decided to
To give up the expensive habit
And start using Kiss nail
Press ons…
Very happy with them…
Inexpensive
Less time consuming
And their addition to my
Grooming gets me many
Compliments…
What more can I ask for??
Sweeper run
Yet everywhere there are crumbs
As my other half keeps eating…
I chew Ice
He talks
Both of these habits drive
Us crazy
So compromise
He talks…I chew…
Easy for me as football
Is on this Saturday and
He can’t stop talking at
The coach on the TV…
Chew chew chew chew…
Lucky for me I bought
A counter ice machine
That makes soft ice
That doesn’t crack my teeth
Or give me brain freeze
But still drives my retired groom
Nuts…..
At our age
We have to keep doing things
That makes us aware of each
Other…
5 days after
Cataract surgery
On right eye is unbelievable…
Wish the left eye surgery
Is a few weeks away…
Right eye have such bright
Vision , colors that I’m getting
Headaches from closing left
Eye and only viewing with
The right…
But the vision in the right eye
Is unbelievable…
The first Sunday
After the election
And I am so worried about
Our country…
I see and feel things
Others feel and see differently…
Does that make one or
The other wrong…
No… we have different
Religions, upbringing
And experiences that give
Our brain, gut and logic thinking
A view we hold tightly…
But their minds are
Wired completely different…
One’s lefthanded
One’s right handed…
I say I sent it by email
He goes to messages…
He says right I turn left…
I say righty tighty
Lefty loosie
He looks at me bewildered…
Aging is just making it more
Intense…
He just stares in bewilderment
At everything
I say…
Love will keep us together
Because communication
And understanding
Are starting to become a
Foreign language to us…
Him from one country
Me from another…
Comes in waves…
It overwhelms your mind
And body like no other
Disease.,.
Going on
Going forward
Coming back
Are the questions it presents…
Having faith keeps one
Foot in front of
Of the other…
Are something at this
Age I don’t think
Others realize they trespass!
I’ve been easy going most
Of my life trying to
But my now my toes are stepped on daily
From chewing ice, how much
Ice cream I eat, how late I sleep,
How much I read, how early I go
To bed and so on…
I’m not going on another trip
To sit through a presentation
Sit at a fishing stream, travel to
Late, listen to phone conversation or CNN
Through the car audio…
Been there done that
Make all feel happy and safe…
Not doing it again…
A-lot like pregnancy…
Enjoyed it a few times but
When it’s over…ITS OVER!!!
Our life is on hold
And has been for some time…
His time is filled with
Silent phone calls daily
Just watching his mom
Deteriorate in place…
He wants so much more for
Her…I understand but at 96
Her body is spent…
Our bodies and minds are
Being spent worrying about
Her…
What a way to age!!
My parens left long ago and
The feelings are all spiritual now..
What they think or would do
Have little help in my life and
Mind as their days are gone
Over 50 years and the
Gap of time feels like the
Cavernous area of the grand
Canyon…that I can’t really
Understand or feel…
Life is for the living I know
Understand and see…
Aging stops the living, begins
The grieving of having to be
Satisfied with the life one has
Led…
A quiet get away
From the noise
Of the football games
And constant cooking
And eating in the kitchen…
I miss the kitchen of my
Childhood homes
They were walk through
Eat in kitchens
But closed off from he rest
Of the house..:
The first house on B street
Was very large, eat in
With a country table
I remember the original
Ice box containing a large
Block of ice…
We didn’t freeze things
But it kept our daily needs
Cold…
We had food delivered
Or ran to the store as needed..
We had a restaurant swinging kitchen
Door from the kitchen
Into the dining room…
Loved that door…
While eating in the dining
Room you never saw the
Prep work in the kitchen…
Grandmas house was the same
Way…
Although when they remoldeled
I think they removed the door..
Doors that swung both ways
Could cause many accidents..:
But to me open floor plans
Give little solitude in a house
And break down meal time
As the kitchen is always opened…
Leading to constant eating,
Bingeing hi and mess…
My second house was similar
With a sliding door between the
Kitchen and dining room…
After years of not giving much
Thought to house layout I
Definitely have an opinion today
Although doubt at this age if
It will matter…
But my living room is my
Go to today on the cold, rain filled
And gloomy day…
I can see the neighborhood
Outside, a see leaves changing
Colors, squirrels running around
Collecting and storing food…
It’s a place to chew my ice a
Bad habit that has appeared
Again as I’m suffering from
Anemia…
And no one yelling at me to stop
Chewing…
I meditate, think and quietly talk
To MD&B in my mind praying
They are where I believe God
Cares for them as our faith
Teaches…
I trying to pray for those who
Have offended as God teaches
He is the judge…
I wonder why I’m told
Where we need to go but
Never asked where I would like
To be and see…
Therefore my needs I realize
Are a priority only to me
And therefore find no need to
Plan or go as others determine…
My Retired Groom 