So the proctor says

And the test is over…

Assuming life is also

On a timer I wonder if

We get a heads up before

The timer buzzes…

At 74 I think my

Life has been long and fulfilling

But is 74 the notch

That buzzes on my timeline…

My brothers was 82

My mom and her mom were 55

My dad 60..:

My dads mom was 79…

My granddads were 72 and 75

Will my timer buzz soon

Will I sleep thru..,

Questions of life roll in

My mind as my sister

Will hit 80 this month…

I wish we could knock over

The egg timer so the sand

Would stand still

But on second thought

Those precious grains

Of sand are the days

Of our lives….

As things are

Becomes visually clear

With aging even though

One’s eyesight is fading…

Facial Expressions to opinions

Give a clear sight of one’s

morals and integrity

Even though they aren’t

Verbally expressed…

Directions given by coaches

Sometimes makes one wonder…

Do I really want my child influenced

By such a person.,.

Verbal judgements gives

A glimpse of Christianity

And the values held…

Looking back I realize

The instructions and advise

Of my parents still hold…

Associates/friends are like an

Elevator…they either

Take you up

Or bring you down…

When you see the red down

Arrow…

It’s time to get off

And take the stairs..,

I wonder if their owners know

or really listen to how they sound…

I hear them very often

And try to walk away as

words have no meaning

are seldom ever heard as the

tone drowns out

While Harshness overshadows the words…

My mind drifts to more

Melodic sounds with meanings

That please the ear…

Birds have the market on speaking

With their chirping rhythmic notes

Seemingly get thoughts across

To other feathered friends

Without startling or off keyed tones…

Voices can be beautiful when

A soul delights in its own sound…

Nice and clean

Has never been

On my To Do List…

Life takes one on journeys

Many miss when the OCD

Of clean and brite sets in…

Kids grow too fast

To let dirty floors keep

You from their meets and games

Hearing their successes and

High points through words from others

But not seen through your eyes..,

Housework and clean

Like everything in life

Needs to be seen and done in moderation

As life and growing kids don’t

Wait for clean windows and made beds…

I find a dirty window make one

Appreciate the effort of a clean one…

Excuses one might say of one in judgement

As looking out ones pristine windows

Noticing only the stains or rips

on a neighbors laundry hanging on the

Line…

Doesn’t follow Jesus’s greatest

Commandment of love thy neighbor…

Wondering back trough neighborhoods

Of my youth

I remember those who were self-righteous,

unfriendly and those that never saw

My unexpected visit as and intrusion…

In adulthood I now realize those that

Couldn’t wave at a passing neighbor

And never open a door to a friendly

Visit disappeared in my older life.,,

If Indian belief bears honor that the dead

Are kept alive by those remembering them

With love…

I pray my memory is held with love by

Those I have tried to love and nurture

With my unOCD of life.,.

With little thought…

Is where we are now

Your mom and brother

Seem to be steering our life…

Who scheduled a meeting for today?

Can’t we have at least

My thoughts on what to do never fly

A small get away?

And I really don’t know why

So it’s time to stay out

And dry

From all the Drama

They cry…

When making plans

You need to be sure both parties

Are on the same page and timeline…

Otherwise one is waiting and the other

Thinks they are right on time…

When one thinks the time is lunch time

And the other thinks it two hours earlier…

Everyone is on their own timeline

Unless a specific time is agreed upon…

Much talk

Little done

To stop the pain

What to do…

Stop the reign

Of the hate filled

Monster

Inflicting this horror

The Russian people

Hold some blame

As they let

Evil

Rule in their name…

tears still fall

memories of my brother

keep running

Through my mind…

nights

dreams…

searching for him

Through our childhood home

Yet wake alone

No brother found…

This seems so sinful to me, taking something old, antique, in many eyes, and trying to update it to fit in with today! Why would you do it! What could you improve on something so beautiful that has survived a century!

This was my shock as we buried my brother, having his funeral Mass in the family church where he was married. Our grandparents also married here as this church was rebuilt after a fire burned it down in the early 1900s. My grandparents monetarily contributed to it beauty as it was refurbished after that devastating fire! Buying their own beautiful wooden pew that is still there and marked with their number!

Still there are the stained glass windows and statues that parishioners raised money to purchase. The beautiful confessionals that my father and family would wonder into every Saturday to practice their faith. But the beautiful altars are gone, the communion rail that was knelt at each Sunday! Where is the marble baptismal font that my grandmother gave in my grandfathers name! It matched the lectern that is still in its place!

A church isn’t a fashion that is changed with each new trend! It’s a holy place where people come to worship, Baptize their babies, bury there dead and pass through with all the spiritual happenings and rituals making up their Catholic life! This church was our home everyday growing up. Choir practice, CCD classes, stopping in to light a candle and pray for a favor, help for a successful surgery. We came here on a daily basis a place of peace, of quiet, a place to regain strength before going home to show your mom not such a great report card.

But today it is barely recognizable to me. It’s as if the frame is still there but the Mona Lisa is not, An imitation sits in its place.

I understood the lack of the holy water fonts due to the pandemic upon entering. But the beautiful altar being gone was earth shattering to me. The color of the walls are not a color for the church! Everything felt cheap, found at garage sales and put in place!

No longer the church of my father. The church of my youth, the church people loved coming to. Instead as my sister commented, look Protestant, not our Catholic Church! My family died off 50 years ago and our jobs took us away! My question is why was money spent to rip up instead of repair!

Do we paint over the Mona Lisa or replace the Eiffel Tower with concrete! Who thought this was a thing to do to an irreplaceable antique that Honored God for decades in glorious beauty. Parishioners over these many years did without to glorify God in their most humble and beautiful way. Today they would be mortified to see the look of their church!

Make new churches modern, include beautiful items from churches being closed or torn down that cost their parishioners much of their salaries over the years.

As the funeral proceeded for my brother I felt the tears of my parents, grandparents aunt uncles and cousins and even our parish priests that we prayed with daily, They were there for him but also for the loss of their beautiful church that no longer was intact!

The movie is over

The actors go home

It’s also how our life ends…

The funeral director doesn’t

Use those exact words

Everyone left…

To be exact he said. The Service is Over…

Except for the star..,

He was taken out

Enshrined in the earth

Time didn’t stand still…

While we went about the rest

Of our day…

The world didn’t stop

As I stood by the mound

That now was his home

Til the end of time…

I needed to see where my brother

Was laid…

Driving passed the next

Morning… to say goodbye

The tomb wasn’t opened

It was very still yet noisy

From the freeway traffic…

Instead of a tombstone

I think a neon sign

Changed daily with

Bill’s Quip for the day…

My heart has been pierced

spurts of sorrow flow

From that portion, he has always owned…

The memories gush

overwhelming my mind

Unending days with him

Throughout my childhood…

My big brother, my hero, my go to

When things hurt and made me cry…

I see us together

he practiced his Boy Scout’s first aid

To cure many a disaster

From my tomboy days…

When he Couldn’t fix or stop the blood

He would yell out for mom to

Help him bandage, tie up

Or call Uncle Ted…

As these adventures continued

Following him…

And I knew he was always there

To carry me home…

In their life…

My hubby does

One old, one older…

She was his first

And I bow to that

Therefore she has him

To herself on certain days in the month

On those days

I stay at home and

On my missing my hubby diet…

Since he is our chef and grocery shopper

I don’t eat as much or as well

When he’s gone…

But his mother’s care givers

Get his homemade brownies

And cakes…

The time works for us

As he’s not torn between two

Women…

I like eating fast food

And bingeing on old movies

Also doing a little remodeling

Without interference

Or opinions…

So his two girls get the best of both

Worlds…

And he gets no downtime…

And one is gone…

Heading home to say goodbye…

His life is now his history

Three sisters played

Staring roles in the early acts

As time went on his biography

Continued

And we appeared in occasional bits

As his troupe of 4

Added more actresses and an actor

Making his acting career a big hit!

He has always been

Now in my

Soul and tears

I shed…

Childhood was short

adulthood

a flash…

No more dinners together

Since mom and dad

Passed…

Parting is not sweet

Sorrow…

In his wake

A chill…

Fills the air

As the warmth of a brother’s

Love is no longer near…

He may be gone

But his soul lives on

Not far away

From his love ones who mourn…

The days of crying

Will soon end

As we each follow him

Home…where life begins

When we all dwell

With him in the

Glow of God’s Light

Illuminating all

That from earth

Is still dim….

Consoles me

Now that my brother

Has followed them

To heaven…

It makes the future journey

Less scarey as I would follow

Him everywhere when I was little…

I’m not in a hurry for the adventure

From which we won’t return

But finding him

Just like our hide and seek’s

In our old 4 story home…

Where he would hide in the cellar

Behind the coal furnace

Other times in the attic

Where his bedroom and

Our playroom were…

He would let out a whistle

If my footsteps were heading

Away or hit a piano

Key to give me a hint…

I’m counting on him

Now…to lead me to Him

Where he now

Resides with them…

Life goes on without him…

There is relief his strife is done

As heartache soon begins

And…

My mind returns to childhood

Where I grew up together with him…

Three peas in a pod…

Maury, me and Bill

B street was our refuge

Where he and our mother were born

It never leaves our memories

It’s the prologue of our book

B street held our secrets, our

Dreams, in our safe and

Homey nook…

Our fort was never breached

We never lived in fear

Tomorrow was the only

Future for which we ever

Cared…

Responsibilities were few…

He and I mostly spoke

Of the wonders of those times

As He became lost

At the ending of his years

He was Trying hard to go home again

For the safety he knew

In youth…

Finally he’s there…

Centered in the heart

Cracking and tearing

A family apart…

One travels on

To the promised land

The rest of us stay

Carrying on with

Our plans

Missing and longing

For the one that is gone…

We’re taught to rejoice

For the one who is chosen

But in the moment…

We tend to forget

That the chosen have

Risen to the height

Of their life

Following God’s

Unending light…

My heart is heavy

My brother is gone

On to eternity

With our dad and our mom…

We grew up together

And I can never forget

All the fun that I had

With my big brother’s wit…

He loved cracking jokes

And making us laugh

With his unending humor

A personality to match…

He never met a stranger

He didn’t call a friend

And the Sparkle in his eye

Drew everyone in…

His wife and his girls

And 4 grandchildren

Are the love of his life

And from his heavenly view

His love, vigilance

And unending care

Will keep us all safe tonight…

We’re wonderful

Even though we were

A few years apart

I think about the years

I can remember

When we were on

B street and close in heart…

You took me to the playground

And pushed me on the swings

And gave me little cherry bumps

On the wooden teeter totter

Across the street…

We chased your dog Rusty

And you took me on your

Paper route

And I watched you

Serve at Mass

As the most revenant

Alter boy

Til you graduated

From 8th grade…

College was a separation

Then Germany for 2 years

Then we both got married

And we went

Our separate ways…

I love you in my heart and soul

But really have no place

To be

As our roads are still

In separate lanes with

Your family tied to you

And mine tied to me

You’re lost and wonder

Where you are

My brother has a family

And a life 8 hours from me…

I’m praying our God

Takes care of you the way

You took care of me…

My heart is hurting

Knowing your Ill

But little can I do

As I’m aging along

With you..

God will bring us

Back together

In eternity…

Has made my day enjoyable

As the Sun is hidden

Behind heavy clouds…

Making me think March

Has a few more cold and

Windy days before giving

Way to a Springy April…

my blog posts

Are only read by me as I proofread

Before hitting the post button…

I’m therefore finding a few

Misspellings, inverted letters

And misplaced punctuations

Although I find my thoughts

Remain the same and my

Memories bring

Me happiness…

When come to my mind

As subjects pop up in

Daily living that take me back

To a different time

With the same theme, subject

Or feeling coming to mind…

At 74 I have a lot of memories

Times with my grandparents, cousins

Parents, brother and sisters…

My husband and kids

And six grandsons…

My mind is like Turner Classic

Movies and I like to write them down

So my children and grandchildren

Can learn about or remember

Some wonderful times of our lives

As we pass on as our parents and

Grandparents did following the

Unwritten book of our lives…

I write about my thoughts, opinions

And beliefs along the way hoping

To keep things positive yet real

And not like a goody, goody

Christmas news letter where all

Is beautiful and wonderful…

Even in the Christmas movie

“It’s a Wonderful Life” the days

We’re filled with up and downs…

But airing some bad days it’s

My ways of documenting so as

Not to repeat them…Make it Real…

Or Forget about It…as Rob Thomas

Sings…

Now as I write, hubby is emptying

The dishwasher, usually my chore

But as retirees he realizes that

Household chores belong to both

Of us…

Who would of thought life at

This age would find us happy with

Our life, and togetherness…

Watching him accept my new

Kitchen lights and putting things

Away as I’ve organized them…

My grandmother told me she started going

To daily Mass when my grandfather

Retired as he started rearranging

Cupboards, and cooking after 50

Years of marriage.,,

We went through the retirement

Adjustment, and have somehow

Come though with more love

Without too many bruises…

I go to McDonalds every morning

Alone…

He gets up hours before me and is

Ready for long conversations which

I feel are lectures…

So my run for Sweet Tea is my way

To adjust to the day…

He likes to run the sweeper

I can’t stand the noise so I have

Asked for Robot sweepers

For Christmas…

I watch TV on my phone with

Earbuds so he can have the

Big TV for all his sports and news…

Just as well as my Netflix’s have

Words he doesn’t like hearing

Therefore questions my choice

Of viewing although a lot of sports

Players’ mouth bad words that the

TV cameras usually always catch…

I guess his hearing is more sensitive

Than his vision…

Crazy things I find funny and

Cute if not

Nuts about the

Love of my life…

Seems to be my view of things…

As aging marches on

Shades of gray in my thinking

Turns back to B&W

Realizing gray is a way of

Putting a glaze on right or wrong…

Graying the situation is a way of staying

Neutral when an issue is clearly

Black or White…

Raising children with

A grayish point of view

Isn’t giving them a clear position

On right and wrong…

Is Virtue gray…

Is Sin gray…

Gray is a color

That is shady

And needs to

Be described as such…

It’s a clouded color

Not sharp…

Not Definite…

Not Black or White…

To understand the feelings

Deep inside

Thoughts that constantly

Stir…take space

In the mind…

Think living right

Yet arrows pierce the heart

Knowing that unkindness

Is always lurking in the dark

Places of the soul that can’t

Find closure in wrongs

Endured…

Lent is approaching

Reading

To try to get closer

At least in touch with the

Almighty who watches over

Trying to follow

The path He designed

Yet wander off

As anger always

Burns…

And seems to ignite

More readily the older

Years get…

Is a phrase I understand

More fully everyday…

This Pandemic has added to the

Lose at a greater speed with aging…

We are staying put to stay safe

Meaning we are moving less

And socializing has ended…

I’m becoming use to it I guess

And enjoying the life of a hermit

Which all say is not good

At 74…

Reading, playing scrabble,

Interacting on social media with

Those I can’t put a face too keeps

My mind going, but missing my

Kids and grandkids…

Every time we decide

To interact a new family member

Gets the virus…

The world will end for many

Of the aged if this pandemic

Doesn’t soon end…

For those aging in place

It’s a ticking Armageddon

That we face…

Is not my mantra

I need my sleep although

My Dr has me on mega Mgs

Of Vitamin D as she says I’m low…

But darkness and sleeping are my favorite

Past time since my environment

Doesn’t include a sunshine soaked

Beach…

Listening to the news today

Makes me really think

The Republican Party has no

Platform and only speaks

of revenge…

Offering no real thoughts

Of helping people

Our falling infrastructure

No climate worries which even

A blind man can feel the

Change that the Republicans

Refuse to see…

Being retired I worry for

Our birthed generation and their’s

That we won’t be around to help

If there is possible help to be had…

Trump spews like the smoke

From trucks on the highways

Having no care for others as they

Go along with their merry lies

Dirtying all standing in the way…

Have a lot in common

As you try to put them

All together

To build your family tree…

They link or butt up against

Each other in smooth

Or jagged connection…

With the elder and deceased

Usually cemented in place

With their notches formed

Honed and wearing at the edges…

New members are added

As their life unfolds… forming

branches or notches

As they forage through life…

Death…

Divorce and DNA results change

The path like a journey

With detours and dead ends…

The tree takes root

A Picture is formed

And begins to grow…

together as new members

Add more vibrancy

And movement to the tree

Aging fades sad and happy events

Giving a clearer picture

Of the family we know….

Are my two favorite shopping places…

My Ace is like having Siri at my

Beckoning call the moment I

Walk through their door…

How May I help you…show them

The part in my hand and they take

Me to the right aisle and make sure

It’s the right part and even give me

Tips for the install…

Now Amazon covers everything else…

With Siri at my beckoning call too…

A pandemic has been a bit of a plus…

Staying home and shopping online

I can shop Ace and pick up curbside…

Talk about having Nationwide

At my side, I now have Amazon and

Ace on my side …

Not sure why

Guess the bathroom was calling

No he traveled farther then that

Now hear him on the stairs

Could he be heading upstairs

To watch the game…

Now I hear him walking all over

Upstairs…

Not understanding his intensity

He’s back down stairs…

Oh now I get it

He’s trying to get more steps

On his Fitbit…

The treadmill is downstairs

And it’s nice and cozy…

Oh I forgot…

He decided that we no longer

Needed 4 cable boxes

Since we are empty nesters…

So he’d have to stream the football

Game on his phone…

The TV in the basement has to be

Over 20 years old and not

A smart TV..,

Will have to get a new TV

Down there so I can watch

My PBS All Creatures Large

And Small on my comfy couch

In my family room…

So now we’ll have 2 cable boxes

1 Fire Stick

And a cable from my

IPad to a new Smart TV…

Will need my grandson

To do the logistics when

He gets home from college…

Now need to plan around

Spring Break…

Sending cookies and money

To College grandson. $$$

Having him hook up my electronics

When home…Priceless!!!

What a name…

Yet what a

Rock Star…

He’s gone and I’m sad

He made a mark

In the music world

And coined the Rock Opera…

RIP. Meatloaf…

A good day…

My mind is all over

Everyday is feeling like

Ground hogs day again

I shouldn’t be around anyone

Because I just feel like screaming…

This Covid is roaming our world

Like a terrorist knocking

On everyone’s door

Causing families to

Stay away from each other

And yet life goes on…

I’m sick of it!

Maybe we all need

To wear a mask

Vote out Morons in government

Who only want the spotlight

To make themselves richer

And care little about their fellowman…

Voting is our right…

No taxation without representation

Started our great nation…

Now people think not everyone

Should be able to vote…

What make them experts

Do they really believe

All these lies…

Of 74…

Not 3/4 of a century yet

But will ring in the

Year of 2023 with that in mind

And hope this year will find

Covid taking leave of us

So I can celebrate my 75th

With my family all together…

But with 74 tripping

Upon me tomorrow my thoughts

And blessings are many…

A few family members have gotten

The virus and luckily with the

Vaccine have come though ok…

My heart aches for those families

Who weren’t so lucky…

I’m thankful for Pres. Biden

Who has done better already

Than the orange haired

Wannabe but never could

Be even a statesman

With his self-center view of this

Great Great Country…

I’m sad that churches had to stop

It’s parishioners from going to church

But could never keep them from God..:

My thoughts always have Him

At their core…

My mother has been gone 50 years

As I am turning 74 and for

That I am both sorrowful and blessed…

Too young to be without a mother

And knowing as she left her youngest

Would depend on me to nurture her

From that day forward…

She prepared me well and in hindsight

I realize she left the best of her

With me and mine… making me

Realize the opportunity and blessing

For mine to witness the addition of

An aunt in their everyday life which

Soon became an older sister which

Is an inseparable bond…

Im thankful to the man I married

For his constant love and caring

And the father to our children,

His great way of providing and

His unending love…

Thankful for my children

Who always make me proud

And the six boys that call me

Gramma…

My daughter and son’s in laws

Who have added to our team

I’m thankful for their love

Of mine and their unending caring…

During times of fearfulness

Our family has endured and

With God in their hearts

They will carry on far beyond my years…

Thankful for 74…

As time keeps marching on…

…

Or rather challenge…

Cleaning out our large

Walk in closet…ugh…

Stay tuned…I’ll let you

Know how that turns out…….

Cleaning out while hubby

Is around it not good…

He won’t throw out anything…

Closet just looks rearranged

Not purged…

I would say he is a hoarder.::

To love to do

Especially when a pandemic

Hits…

It takes you away

To distant places

Stimulates your mind

Gives you topics

Of conversations

Increases your knowledge

And gives more understanding

Of Gods Word…

By the previous discription

One can see my reading takes

On a wide scope…

Current events, religion, mysteries

And other books that come

Across my Amazon Kindle daily…

Some things I only skim for info

Others I can’t put down once I begin

Still other sit by my chair and I

Read a few chapter at a time when

The mood strikes..:

I enjoy the page turners best

Usually sitting still for hours

Until the last page…

With my short term memory

Beginning to be a problem

I tend to read chapters

Over and over if I put the book down..:

I’m also known to buy a book twice

And half way through, know,

I’ve read it before…

I don’t admit this often

Doing so gives creedence

To the fact I’m aging and my

Mind is slipping…

Who owns up to the that? Or

Wants to?…..

A

Cs

Not my favorite weather anymore

But much better than storms and rain…

That are really a pain when

The sump pump goes no stop…

Today it’s cold and brite

Making for a happy day to stay inside…

I got a new pair of red

And white aSherpa boots that I’m excited

To try out

So off to McDs I go in the

Cold and frosty snow..:

They are so warm

No socks needed

Got them on Amazon

$30 including tax and shipping..,

I knew I’d love them

As I have them in black and white

To match the coat I got

For Christmas.,.

The bottoms are my favorite part

As they keep me safe with their

Rugged sole…

As I’m a falling soul…

Anything to help me

Remain upright has to be a blessing

In my Retired guy’s eyes!

Today…

No thoughts, ideas or dreams

To disclose…

So…a good day to catch up

On housework and things that

Get put on hold

When words

Rush in…

I’m rubbing my eyes

Signaling it’s time

To head up to bed

Where my RG has already retired

And my dreams await…

Never knowing

What dramas will unfold

Throughout the night…

Will It be memories

Or…like a murder she wrote

Maybe A scene straight from Hitchcock

I never know…

Will wake up tomorrow

With a head full of thoughts

But never will know

Till I tiptoe to bed

And let the dream projector

Start rolling

Inside my head…

And some are empty of words…

But when the days hit and words

Are on overload I can’t stop

Putting them to paper

Or in this case, on line…

On days such as these My RG

Asks what I’m doing as I’m

So intent…

I say I’m writing

He goes back to what he’s doing

And seems content with my answer…

He always knows once I get it written

I usually read it to him as he is my greatest

Critic and only audience…

Retirement has given us both

A new occupation in life…

Being a one person audience, critic,

Taste tester, object finder, experts to each

Other on that which we don’t understand…

Shoe tying wizard, getting his waders

I’m his computer, I phone, ski jacket out

on expert, barber extraordinaire…

and he’s my………………

………………………………I’m thinking…………

Thinking………Oh yeah, My Retired Groom!

My RG made a Turkey burger

For dinner but since His RB is

Intermittent fasting…at least attempting…

Anyway at 4:30 I became famished

With no desire for anything in

Particular…

This usually leads to bingeing on…

Sweets…

Not today…I’m down another 2 lbs

And I’m motivated by the scales drop

To eat as planned…

Since I’m a fast food junkie

My mind raced to all the drive-ins

That are close…

Was thinking tacos…

But once at the menu board

I remembered the Famous Bowl

That KFC had and I was hooked on

Back in my working days…

Mashed potatoes and gravy

Covered with corn and topped

With bits of KFC…

Yes, I’ll take that when the girl

Asked for my order…

Heading home I realized my

RG would most certainly want some

As he’s never seen this before…

Sure enough as I opened my dinner

And he got a whiff… he was like

A puppy begging for a bite…

I’m not good at sharing my food

So only one small bite was offered

And he gratefully accepted

Upon tasting he hurried back

For another bite and I begrudgingly

Gave in…

Some puppies bite…

Are a life saver on cold

And windy days…

Along with streaming

TV programs on my retired

Grooms phone…

Retirement especially in a

Pandemic can become boring

As we stay within our space

Watching the world go by

Even though not much is moving…

Another in the family has contacted

This lingering virus

Educating us to the fact

That many unvaccinated

Are keeping it going…

It’s very troubling that

In a prosperous and educated country

There are still those who hold

To archaic and mis information

Of those who spread doubts

And lies…History…

Seems to be a curriculum

That many in this nation

Have not studied or even

Bothered to read

Making all of us

Living through the

Repeat of it…

Where I get my feistiness,

Opinions, ideas of what should be,

How I react to others opinions,

Ideas of who I am, what I know is right,

Wrong, shady and absolutely how

To follow my gut…

My dad…talking to me daily

Till the day he died…

When there’s a question to be

Answered and I’m on the fence

I don’t remain there long…

I always remember dad saying, “that’s a

Good way to get shot from both sides”…

My parents had ways of speaking to me

In visual parodies that have stayed

With me through all the years

Since they left me at an early age…

My mother’s opinion on marriage

Was another good example that I

Have said to many young brides as they

We’re looking for their wedding gown…

Telling them that marriage is…giving up

Being admired by many to be criticized

By One…

their ideas and words Provoked

Much thought and eye rolling to the

Rose colored spectacled brides to be

I worked with on a daily basis…

Thankfully I owned the business

Or I wouldn’t have been employed long…

Another quip my mother gave me that

I repeated daily was Marriage is like the

Witness protection plan…You loose your

Name, your identity and can’t be found

In the telephone book…

Some of their insights were humorous,

Some a bit off beat but always spot on…

Their daily instruction was always,

Remember who your are and where

You come from…

Great advice to this Irish, Catholic, girl

Brought up in a small steelmill town

In Western Pennsylvania…

Instructions in my mind

Make one remember of the

List that always was her way

Things to do…yet many

Times just wishes, thoughts

That crossed her mind and stayed

Giving her another note

To put upon her list

The memories exist and

Make me wonder why

Her answer to me on

most requests

Was always…write it down…

Her way of documenting

Things needed, wanted

Or just whimsy

Writing it down

her way of making it exist…

As my retired groom was reading

His Bible today

A thought crossed his mind…

Maybe we need to look at our resumes

And see what needs updated…

I laughed…then pondered…

Would our resumes get us in

Heaven’s Door…

Would it?????

This thought needs further

Investigation and Bible

Perusing…

What skills and qualities

Are required…

My religious upbringing

Has given me the basics

Now we need to fine tune

To make sure we’re at least in

The Wings of the orchestra…of angels

I’m not looking for a golden palace

Up above…will gladly sing in the choir

Or just push a broom…

Is a lot like retirement

If you don’t catch the virus…

Staying home, not working

Watching TV like your life

Depends on the daily reports,

Updates on weather

Letting you know what you should wear

As you stay at home…

Two years of retirement

Out of ten have been spent

Quarantining at home…

The dream of traveling

In retirement has evaporated

As cruise ships have docked…

States keep breaking out

With virus and hospitals overwhelmed

Makes a retired groom and his

Retired bride think twice about

Venturing out and tempting fate…

Since birth we’ve made it through

Encephalitis, whooping cough, polio

Several bouts of measles, chicken pox

Strep throat, child birth, HBP , several

Concussions, falls,

Smoking, driving, no car seats or

Seatbelts, and many years of marriage…

Tempting an unseen virus floating

In the air and spreading with

Greater targeting and killing

Than a bomb… makes one believe

Home alone together is best…

Anything less could end this aging

Marriage with an inhale of infected air…

We value life, love and family too much

To put ours and yours in harms way…

Stay home, stay safe, wear a mask,

Get vaccinated, boosted and enjoy space

And life as this pandemic tries to end

Civilization as we’ve know it!

I don’t want to start…

One is probably not good for

My heart

The other probably won’t increase

My bank account…

Ordered a cheese burger

At my daily run to McD’s

For sweet ice tea

And bought shares of stock

Which I hope won’t start

A bad habit

That might shock

My retirement accounts

Into a downward spiral

That my hubby doubled

Since I retired…

2021 ends

Hoping for a better year

More loving and kind people…

Those that care for their

Fellow man …

But really doubt

If the turn of the clock

Could ever take care of that…

My heart aches

For better days

Less guns, less shootings

Less people feeling that

Robbing is the only way

To live their life in harmony

Finding a better way to support

Themselves and those they love…

Resolutions mean nothing

Without love and determination

To make one’s life better by

Helping those in need…

Politics is but a stage

For senators and congressmen

To act a part

Some are sincere

Others are not…

Watching their acts

Play out on TV

Give reviews by

CNN or Fox’s news

To those people who believe

One station or the other

With one deteriorating

Truth with lies

Dividing our country

Into angles of pie

Eroding our earth

With the goal of gaining wealth

For some…and death

For many…

The day would arrive

When decorating for Christmas

Would make me cry…out

“What are you doing..”

Putting it all up

Just to take it down in a few days…

Well here I am

On the cusp of 74

The twinkle in my eyes

At Christmas lights…

No longer make my spirits bright…

The hustle is done

The bustle is gone

Christmas decor

Even though wreaths hang in the windows

And on the door….

Are dwindling down to a precious few

To those that give the best bang

For my personal view…

I’d rather enjoy

Watching holidays movies on TV

Although the Hallmark Chanel

Is not one of these…

Bring on the cookies

And lots of snow…:

Mrs. Grinch

Would much rather

Snuggle her nose and wiggle her toes

Under a comforter

Up in her bed

Letting those sugar plums

Dance in her head….

He was the best!

Christmas Eve

Carrying his big red bag

Filled with gifts and popcorn balls

He distributed them

All around our small town…

He was a jolly old soul

With a big round belly

Looked more real then ones on

The tellie…

RIP my Santa!!

At this time of year

He’s part of my faith

And I think

Of him now

As our Savior is near!

Love you Dad…

They always said that blondes

Have more fun…

But really…do they?

Growing up a dirty or dishwater blonde

Not platinum or strawberry

I had loads of fun…

Now that I’ve attained

The gift of Age

My hair has gained the Achievement

Of SnowWhite…wasn’t she a brunette???

Anyway…

My beautician claims everyone is

Dying for my color…

Not literally… coloring their

Hair white.,,Why….

Youth has no rhyme or reason

They follow trends, styles and fads

So I guess we are in for a time period

Of Kardashion big butts

And white hair…

Who knew that I would finally

Be in style…

Why is it

When I’m scared

When I’m sick

When I’m worried

The only place I go

Is to my faith…

I thought my upbringing

Was behind me

But my mother’s faith

Instilled in me

Was as nourishing as her love…

It’s made me who I am

Never wondering too far

From the path she lead

And will continue to contain

Me…

Until I am dead

She never wavered in her belief

Living it in life as we grew up

Around her…

In turmoil or fear

She gathered us near

And prayed to God for all to clear…

She asked for a miracle

Once in her life

Was intent and consistent

And knew her faith would

Prevail…

I witnessed that happening

And now wonder if it was

Her sacrifice with unwavering faith

As God made it take place!

This year may be

As odd as last…

The Pandemic rises

And falls

Affecting the population

Children and all…

Will it ever be over…

Or will this be the life we

Live, since people don’t

Believe, or care about each other

As our Savior has taught us…

To Love One Another…

Needs no answer

Just a voicing

Of things being done

Or thoughts

That run

Constantly through the mind…

It will continue

To be sure as we age

Reminding me of another

Page…

In my life, as my mother

Sang out her to do list

To the tempo of Gregorian chant

Heard each morning

Through opened windows

As a Benedictine Convent

Was close by…

Tony Butella (Of the Letterman)

Lived across the street…

Seldom has there been silence

As the voice of my love ones

Can be heard near by…

The tones are constant

Th volume can change

If thoughts aren’t routine

Turning into annoying

Irritations…upping the strain…

Silence is heard when

We are apart

But the distance

Is heard with

Each beat of my heart…

Seems to have a new meaning

In this culture of rage

….everyone having an opinion

Seeing no other side…

Guns out number people

Everyone thinks they’re right

Nights turn into nightmares

As the News numbers the deaths

With everyone preaching their

Owns views of God’s

Teaching…

Makes me realize

LOVE now means

Living over hatred evermore…

Is a life long battle

Living life as a jigsaw puzzle

Making pieces fit

It takes perseverance

With a whole lot of wit…

Waking each morning

Facing the day

Ending an argument

When you run out of words

Running errands

Without a car

Using your legs

But they can’t take you far

As you run out of steam

With one flight of stairs

Accepting what’s up there

You no longer care

Or want or need…

Accepting the reality

That age takes a toll

Dwindling your options

Down to your soul…

I feel it in my bones

As the furnace fires

Up it’s warming tones…

It blows hot dry air

Makes heaving noises

Warming our skin

And drying out our noses…

Jay Lo and Betty White

Is a rough character to play…

You no longer get the cat calls…

Too young to be consider a

Distinguished elder…

The wrinkles creep in… never to leave

Hair turns a color that no one

Wants…unless it’s Snow White

But Mousey grey just isn’t in anyone’s

Crayola box…

So you go to the bottle for help

And come up somewhere on one

Side of a Zebra…smudged, baylaged

Two toned or blonde with brown roots…

Then you decide the time and money

Is no longer worth the effort and time…

Let it go grey or white…

Hoping your hairdresser and stylist

Can keep you relevant in the eyes

Of your family…

I remember the day my aunt

Turned up at Sunday dinner with a

Blue/Purple rinse… we then noticed

All the women her age must have the

Same beautician as you would start

Seeing a sea of purple heads in the

Congregations of most churches…

Hats were gone… the purple rinse

Was in…

Today I use a purple rinse to keep the

Yellow from 2nd hand smoke, out of

my white hair …

During this pandemic it’s been easy

To grow white, long hair…

No where to go and no one to see…

Because of catching COVID…

So many in our age group have

Found ‘You Tubers’ …

Teaching how to conceal our

Wrinkles with pore fillers, highlighters,

Bronzers and get smooth figures

Somewhere between…

With elastic under-garments

That contort your fat to fill hollow spots

Which on me exits in my ears and between

My toes…

Love the ads during ball games

Where we try to explain to our

grandchildren what ED is…and the

Purple pill to cure it obtained on the

Internet…. or whether I wear depends

For Incontinence that all women need…

In this day and age I’m happy to be married

To my high school sweetheart…

Whose eyes are aging as my boobs sag,

And my body resembling the stuffed Turkey

Before it’s roasted…

Constantly telling me I look as good

As the day he met me…

And remembering our parish priest saying

Lasting marriages are built on

Little white lies..

As I no longer want to be living in

The next season of “Sex and the City”…

Somewhere between

Jay Lo and Betty White….

Reveals the aging process…

It’s been visible for the past few years

Probably a decade or more…

You begin to notice the change in

Family homes as flower beds are destroyed

By new dwellers who don’t have the

Green thumb or love of flowers as

The previous owner…

Changes in house colors that remained

The same while we lived near by…

Subtle changes are ongoing like new

Windows, garage doors, new roofs,

Patio additions or wider driveways

As children become drivers with additional

Cars… but…

The quick changes of new landscapes,

Or total lack of upkeep

Of the oldest and most beautiful home is

definite Sign that a loved one has died or

moved to A smaller home…

Some changes make the view better,

Other changes…one has to get used to…

Christmas time shows the change in lights &

Trimmings more obvious…

A classic home, decorated the same

For 40 years, making a Christmas debut

With blow-up Santa’s and snowmen

Is an absolute sign of ownership change…

As an old timer in the neighborhood the

Change is sad as it means our times

Are marching on…

I was happy to show a couple, who stopped

And asked… how I hang my wreaths

without nails or ribbons…

And I also explained why I don’t use any

Little White or colored lights as I’ve found

Half the lights burned out by Christmas

Eve…

Spot lights have remained in place for years

As part of my landscape, with a few

Burning out yearly…making my

Christmas decorating…hanging 5 wreaths

Which I have taken down and stored in

Plastic bags for years, effortless…and timers

Lighting the Spot lights..brainless…

So as years pass, it nice to know someone

In the neighborhood will be decorating like

Me…

The older neighbors will remark…

Look, they copied the retired groom’s bride’s

Decorations…

And I’ll answer, copying is the best form of

Flattery……

Needs no second….

I’m thankful for parents

Who taught me this fact at an early age…

Reinforced it daily til they left me

Early in life…

Mom didn’t want me to follow

As she raised chiefs not

Indians…

Stand tall like an Oak…for truth

And right.,,even though winds will blow

To shake your faith…

You need no other opinion

When following the straight and narrow

Though many will call you wrong

Never falter in your resolve…

As JFK once said, ‘success has many authors

Failure has but one…’

In this world of alternative

Facts…truth and right…is still the higher

Road, though others following a lower

Muddier path

May find a temporary

successful outcome… will ultimately

Fail…

Thanksgiving is more than Turkey

And stuffing…

In this period of a pandemic

We were thankful to share a wonderful

Dinner and Thanksgiving with our

Daughter and her family…

New in the family was a puppy

Sweet, cute and full of lots of energy

For this set of retired parents and

Grandparents.,,

Thanksgiving begins with the pandemic

Not making any of our family ill

But we do have a first responder

Physician in the family who treats

COVID patients daily…

We are also thankful for a

More Christian President running

Our country…

Today we are cleaning up Fall

And preparing for winter and

Christmas

After celebrating a 50++++

Anniversary on the 30th…

Praying as this year ends it brings

Hope for a Holy Christmas

And the Birth of our Savior

To bring healing for a better New Year!!!

Today’s verdict was not surprising to me…

Once the surviving victim testified

I was sure he wouldn’t be found guilty!

Bringing a gun to a fight

Will never end peacefully

When both side feel righteousness

In their heart, soul and mind…

Seems a strange thing to do

Although the raking of leaves

Prepares the canvas for

White snowflakes on the ground…

Stacking the logs for a fire to glow

On cold nights that chill to the soul…

Taking down the umbrella that has kept

Our patio cool…now letting the sun shine

Through the windows to warm up the view,

And Now…

Realizing that the windows need cleaned

And gutters must be emptied of this seasons

Falling leaves that will clog and cause

Ice dams to invade the roof…

Screens from doors are replaced

With glass… to help our new furnace

Keep the cold out as the house warms

When the air conditioner is flipped to heat

On our thermostat…

Replacing the filters so the warm air can

Flow as our installer has preached…

Cleaning up the garage so cars

Can stay within…one less chore to

Do when the snow flakes fall…

Winter cleaning is really the chore

Of preparing for a cold weather

Keeping the cold out and us,

All warm inside…

Summer clothes are moved to the back

Of the closets as mittens, hats and furs

Are brought forward along with boots,

Shovels and hot chocolate with

Marshmallows for cold

Trips in the snow…

Aging makes one realize that

Winter is more hazardous

When one has traveled

“Over the Hill”

Fill the sky today

Their bottoms are dark

With tops of grey…

The bouncy puffs

Of white cotton on a blue background

Giving way to gloom…

My thoughts are lifted

With the color of red on

Burning bushes in many yards

With neighbors raking

Piles of leaves into the parkways

Hoping there will be one more pickup

Before a heavy snow…

The colors on the ground

In the mounds of leaves

Fill our lives with glee

With hope that grey skies

Are only threatening snow

With their water loaded gloom

And heaviness Hovering…

My house is warm

My heart is full

Knowing my family are all

Getting ready for the holidays

Ahead…

That the clouds in the skies

Are preparing us for…

Thanksgiving for all we have…

Christmas… a new birth of our Savior

And the onward hope of

A Blessed New Year…

Begin today

As he enters to see his mom

Once infected with COVID

Now 2 weeks out…

I still am fearful of his entry there

Where others infected her

Due to relaxing of protocols

That have kept her safe all these months..

Now…needing to see her

Letting her know he cares and is there

Throwing his own health to the winds

That are infected within those walls…

In her motherly mind she would tell

Him to stay away…

As she had to do when he was infected

So many years ago

With a different virus

That almost took his life…

But her mind is no longer complete

As age has wormed it’s way into

The crevices of her brain to take away

The memories and cautions of a mother…

This will not end until this virus is

Irradicated from our world or his

Mother goes on to another

Where we will all meet again…

Never knew what this meant…

Until today!!!

Read a January message that just appeared

On my message board…

My cousin informed me… through

A DNA research result that my uncle

Isn’t her biological father…

?????????????

This leaves me with many questions…

Did my Uncle know? Did my mother?

Whose name is on her birth certificate?

Secrets… that families from 70 years ago

Never thought would be …

Revealed….are being brought out of

The closets, attics or graves…

So this is what it feels like to be a

Relative once removed!!!

At 73…and not having laid eyes on her

Since we were 13 or 14, I realize

I didn’t really know her …

And doubt if it effects any of us???

But on our family tree she is still a branch…

Are running through my mind..,

Worries, ideas, food, God…

Things to do, to say,

To fix, to clean,

To ponder…

All making for a muddy mind

Without a clue

Of what to do..,

Not being a list maker

I start without a plan

And muddle through

With what’s at hand.,,

Pick up what’s in sight

Pitch some of the clutter

Clearing my sight line

From chaos to order

Even though the clutter will

Reappear within the hour…

Going on to the left or right

Beginning with in my sight

And look around for the next

Idea or need for me to do

My day proceeds…

With little prayers

Of requests for Him

To show me the way

The shortcuts or detours

Throughout my day…

Relying on him for all

These years..,

Has provided me with the path

The way, and the love

Of each day….

I find that at my age

Many things don’t interest me…

Other’s drama, opinions on things

That don’t affect me, others views or

Opinions of me…

I stay away from what is unimportant

Or things I can’t change or that

Which I have learned from years of trying

Don’t matter to others….

My life has shortened to the point

Where dust continues to fall

And now doesn’t bother me at all…

If it bothers others, let them dust.

Food and meals no longer rule my days

As I find, like all Gods creature what is

Needed to stay alive is always nearby

and now only eat

When hungry, not on a schedule

Or in great quantities…

The later in life that one realizes

That joy and love outranks all

The sooner happiness begins…

Alone time is needed for contemplation

And loneliness can exist in a crowd…

Acceptance of self is more important

Than popularity as God intended

One to excel with the gifts He implanted

In your soul and not in the thoughts,

Ideas or expectations of others…

One entered solo unless a twin

And will leave alone, at the hour

Of God’s hand…

Therefore at this age..,

I realize that God and I have

A closer outlook on what needs

To be accomplished to sculpt me

Into what He wants, intends and

Needs this child of God to do and Be….

Yesterday I received it

Both of us in fact…

Hubby doing well

Me not so much…

Running a 100. 2 temp

Aching all over

Headache with chills…

Taking my second dose of advil

And many tell me

Tomorrow will be better!

Is very instructive

Wake me early

To start day at the beach

First to the bait store

To pick up live shrimp…

Shrimp sold out

Ladies sells you crabs

To fish under the bridge

On the river…

So here I sit…

In the car on an empty street

Not at the beach that you woke me for…

You change your plans

On a whim with no thought of me

And why I came with you…

Beach, surf fishing

Not fishing under the new

Orange Ave bridge…

But a good sales person…

Talked you into crabs

And river fishing

Since they were out of shrimp!!

Is constantly on his mind…

Today he walked in with his boots on

Telling me the more dirt he can

Bring in the quicker I’ll want new carpet…

Wow… my man doesn’t know me as well

As he thinks….

The next time he leaves to visit his mom

My favorite carpet cleaner

Will come in an make my carpet

Look like new….

The last time I got new carpet

For my family room

My friend came in took up

The carpet and re-carpeted her sons

Family room with it…

The carpet was 10 years old

We had a dog and yet she said

My carpet was better then any

They could afford to buy…

The guy who cleans my carpets

Have always told me what carpet to buy

Or not buy….

Told me to put no padding under

The carpet in the basement

And today…

My home has over 20 year old carpet

In most of my house…

There are no walk ways in or out

Of our rooms…

The pile is still standing at salute

And I still love it…

Although after a year of quarantine…

With a hubby who wants more hardwood

And new carpet, I’m noticing it needs

To be cleaned….

And the steps do need replaced…

I will consult with my carpet cleaner

Before purchase….

He has never steered me wrong!

My heart aches…

Watching the impeachment trial today

Seeing the misguided minds

Running through the most wonderful

Government in the world…

Knowing many don’t want to watch

The complete attack in a timeline

Rather than snip- it’s… don’t

Understand what has gone on…

In the woods…

Out of sight…

Many of these people train

To overthrow the freedom

That we enjoy…

For no other reason

Than hate in their hearts…

Sadness always weighs me down

It happens out of the blue

With words said by someone who

Doesn’t have a clue…

But again, realize, has never shared

Much with this creature

Who’s been without the loving

Heart of a mother

For over 50 years…

Instead I’ve had to build a wall

To fend off insults thrown

Only caring for one’s own…

Never seeing a reason to expand the view

To include others who could

Have used some love shown..,

Is a form of therapy

More often a place to hide

When life begins

To irritate your soul

Deep Inside…

When there is no other place

To find a quiet space

Then sleep becomes

The place to find tranquility

And peace…

Though night mares

filter in…

But no worse

Than being awake!!!

For those of you who are not yet wide eyed and bushy tailed on such a big day here is a little reminder that today is Gramma, Jane’s, Mom’s and sister Jane’s Birthday. She carries a lot of names ,however, maybe the biggest is friend. I don’t know a person on this earth who always puts herself last and others first the way Jane does. She is always there for all and always seems to have the right answers for all who have sought her advice and counsel over the years.Jane is Oh so many things wrapped up in on one big Irish Bow.
Happy Birthday to my best friend and love of my life. I hope Tinker Bell wakes her soon. She is probably dreaming about my honey due list today!

Love your Retired Groom….

Today as I pray

I think about a man

Who never knew he’d die

That day in the beautiful

Building of our government…

He agreed to guard and defend

With all his might, that ended

His life …

His president demanded

The fight….

That ended his life

A deliberate act that ended

His life…

I want this man to be celebrated…

And our president….

To be held as a traitor to

Our government, our country

To this man who gave his life

To honor and defend his right

To be our president…

Of which we now know

He has no honor or right!

Listening to my husband yesterday

On a FaceTime call with his mother

Brought tears to my eyes…

She’s in a nursing home room alone

Because of this Covid…

The call lasted 5 1/2 hours…

He went down memory lane

Getting her engaged with the

People she knew so well but are now gone

She was able to tell him in great detail

About her relatives and what they did

Without looking for one word…

He stayed with her through dinnertime

As she kept asking if he was still there

The patience and love between the two

And the time he spent explaining,

Showing our Christmas lights

And those on our neighbors homes

Started new questions about who

Lives there and so on..,

They recited prayers

And she kept telling him

How much she loved him over

And over…

They went through all

The grandkids names and ages

And what they were up to…

He explained to her where she was

In such a way, that it was as a driving

Tour from her home road by road

Until she said yes..,I know the place

When the aide came in

He asked if she had eaten and

She said she was going to help her

As she doesn’t eat much…

He continued telling her how good

The food looked, telling her how much

He loved the jello she used to make…

Even though they are 500 miles apart

She seemed to think

He was sitting at dinner with her…

As the window in her room grew darker

She was worried about him driving home

And he tried to explain FaceTime to her

That she could be in her chair in her room

And he could be on his couch at home and

Spend the day and dinner with her..,

She finally said he better be getting home

As it was getting late and she would be

Going to bed…

They said their goodbyes

Saying…

They loved each other so much…

She then said their night Gaurdian angel

Prayer for a peaceful night sleep

She asked if he was coming tomorrow

Since he stayed so long today…

Then she said it was his brother’s

Turn to visit tomorrow…

The two were at peace as he

Said goodbye again and

Reluctantly hung up!!!

I know my kids will be as loving, when my

Time comes…

My retired groom is their dad…

Is different than being lonely

It’s doing your own thing without

Critique or comments

Watching TV programs

Without regard to another’s likes/dislikes

Going to bed and rising on your own

Timeline…

Reading books for hours without

Interruption…

Not having to run to anyone’s needs

Answering your own questions

Or just asking and searching alone…

Burping, farting without shame

Not having to wait for anyone

When you are wanting to leave

Not cooking, shopping for food

And eating only ice cream

If you like…

Yet the thought of alone time

Makes me lonely…

Is this type of communication

Creating less thoughtful comments

More pointed or caustic opinions…

As I read through Facebook and twitter

This is what I am seeing…

Without immediate and face to face

Dialogue…the personal remarks

Seem harsher than saying it to someone’s

Face…

Immediate reaction, such as glaring

Or a combative response seems to

Enable a bolder remark

When the conveyer and receiver

Are not nose to nose

And eye to eye…

Seeing the difference of parents

In two brothers is amazing

One being negative

One being positive

And ongoing fighting

To get to the answer

The other questioning

Every possible effect

Without seeing the positive

Only dwelling on the impossible

Both serving them well

Throughout their careers

One charging forward

To get that sale

The other searching

All possibilities that could

Happen in getting people

Out of harms way and

Back on their feet…

There is a need for both

In every situation

With one always prevailing

In the event of the day…

• 

Back to my roots

Thinking of my mom

With the new purchase

Of a teapot

It was her drink of choice

With 4 or 5 sugar cubes

Which she also used

As treats for this girl

Telling me…

You need a little sweetness

To start the day…

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Went to Culver’s tonight

Bit into my big juicy

Shredded lettuce covered

Grilled chicken sandwich

Yuk…pickles

Did I go to McD’s

Instead…was my first thought

Pickles gave that taste

That make me not get hamburgers

At McDonalds

I can never get the taste off the burger

By just picking them off

The pickle juice has already seeped in

Like beet juice discolors hardwood

Floors when it gets spilled..

I had to cut off a thin slice

Of chicken to get rid of that

Pickley taste…

I hate pickles

Why does everyone think

Pickles make food taste better

The make you pucker

Eyes water

And cause that taste to

Permeate

Everything they touch

The same way coffee

Fills the air

Making one thinks

A skunk 🦨 is near…

All night….

Sleeping at night

Is not fun for me

It seems like every dream

And nightmare

Enters my brain screen

And creates an all night theater

Including me as an actor

In the billboard

Of these productions…

They relive all my scarey

Pasts

Relatives passing

And future fears that

Have me dreading night…

I toss and turn

Walk the floor

Cry out… sleeping little

Waking as the sun rises

Sweating, tears in my eyes

And thankful God has

Given me another day

Giving me freedom of fear

As my dreams disappear

With daylight

Therefore; why I can

Sleep so soundly during

The brightest days…

As the producers of my dreams

Again spend their days

Thinking up new nightmare

Productions to keep me awake

Cleaning up

Cleaning out

Yet neither of us

Seem to be able to

Get rid of…

So hoping we don’t

Leave all this junk

For our kids

To unload…

I’m sure what we think

Is special…

Is just junk

To them

Cold weather has started

As goblins approach

Golfing will end

I’m sorry to see

As my hubby will

Again be hanging with me…

Out my front window

I can see

My Ash tree has survived another year

In midst of this pandemic my

Two front trees are fighting

An Ash Tree blight that

Have taken out many of the trees

In my neighborhood

It gives great shade in the summer

And the colors are amazing

That they share in the fall

Our trees are numbered

With a metal disc hammered

Into it’s trunk

And it’s a matter of time

Before the disease

Takes it out…

I’m hoping, like me

It will survive the Ash disease

And me and mine this pandemic

Wishing I could understand

The reasoning of this man…

Who has let so many die

Without tears…even a sigh

He continues to spread his lies

Not caring that more will die

Letting him continue for 4 years more

Will not close the door

On how he has destroyed

The faith, love and freedom

Of all who are Americans

The biggest spider

Crawled across my ceiling today

I grabbed a towel and softly

Brushed him down

Hoping to take him outside

To enjoy a few more days of sunshine

And summer like weather…

Sadly the spider fell

And scurried away

Hoping to stay inside

For another day

I’m sure he will

Soon reappear

Hoping to stay inside

Til the end of the year

The problem with that thinking

Is that other humans

Living within

Don’t have the same feeling

I do

About crawling things…

They may scream

Or yell

And swat or try

To kill

Just hoping you appear

On one of my days…

Where you are…

when you don’t follow truth..

This virus is real

This virus is here

It sickens

It kills

It lingers in your body…

He now has it…

But do we really know

Since most of his life…

Has been a con-show

I hope he is well

But does he really care…

About even one…

Who died of it…

Hopefully if he is really sick

He’ll have the soul and time

To think of everyone who suffered

And died on his watch….

It was a large responsibility

That he wasn’t interested

In containing

And now he’s feeling…

THE KARMA

• 

• 

• 

Colors of fall catch my eye

As I jump in my car

For my daily ride…

They russle….exploding….

With individual colors

As they wave goodbye

To the sky…

Knowing their days are short

As they shed their leaves

To the ground below

Making way for winters skies…

All that is left is my cute little rose

Shivering in the autumn breeze

Holding on to her petals

Til it’s time to fold…

And prepare herself

For the upcoming cold…

• 

In my head, as I am washing the bedding..

The older I get, making a king size bed

Is becoming overwhelming…

As I pulled the cover for my comforter

Out of the drier I remember why I started

Using it….

We were at a Marriott resort down in

West Palm beach and I was loving the

Bedding that we couldn’t wait to crawl into

Every night…

Staying in the Condo on a cool and

Rainy day I watched the girls making

The bed… I asked them if they replace

The comforter after every guest leaves…

She showed me how it is enclosed in cover

A duvet is the actual name,

Thus protecting the fluffy bed comforter…

So I came home and bought one…

But I have found that washing that cover

And putting the comforter back in is for

The wealthy or hotels who pay people

To do it…

I now just buy a new alternative comforter

Every year and wash it regularly …

When it starts to get yellow

I place it under my mattress pad…

Which is very puffy…

After few years if doing this

My bed is high and very comfy

Without the expense of a downfilled

Bed topper that I got hooked on

After staying at the Broadmoor in Colorado,

Www.shopbroadmoor.com

Which I have found was adding to the

sneezing and coughing

Problem I was having at night….

Experience is always the best teacher…

As I am learning to forge these aging

Years, by changing things up to get

A better and much easier result…

Yep! That duvet is heading to the give away

Pile as I am slowly decluttering…

Very very slowly…

Days are short and nights are long

Mostly when my love is gone…

He’s with his mom and needs to be…

His birth to her keeps him from me…

Sharing him is not a choice…she held him

First and is the first love he felt…

It’s sad to see her fierce love on display

As she digs in her heels as they wheel

Her away…

The tears they roll down her cheeks

And down his face as he can’t ease her

Pain during this virus in this place…

He stands and watches how they keep her

safe…

Yet she feels they are tearing her away

From them as they leave…

The visits are short scheduled times

Because of this pandemic…and it’s hard

To make her understand the need for

This protection…as her mind and body are

Aging and diminishing with that aging

Process that is part of all of our lives…

I don’t feel his pain as he discribes the

Scene… reliving the scene of my mother

Who was taken from me almost 50 years

Ago…and that scene is revisited in my heart

And mind every time he explains his pain…

I see my mother closed in that box

And lowered in the ground…

Wishing it was me…visiting my mother in

Meadville instead of St. Mary’s when he

Asks me to go home which is no more

For me…

Then…I cry

This drama and these lies

Have got to stop real soon

It takes away the light

And will soon cover up the moon

We need a leader who cares

About God’s creation and the nation

Of freedom from these days of fire,

Virus, hate and words of separation

One nation, under God is being divided

And cannot stand… when leaders inside

Refuse to protect this land… and it’s

Diverse and many people…

All people of color lives matter

And those who think they are pure

Need to realize that white is also a color

That silence may be golden

But most times… it’s just yellow!