In this era is a big money business.  Finding the “right place for mom” is a tedious job of visiting, comparing and becoming educated on services and costs.  All the while  dealing with a parent who is quickly failing both mentally and physically.

Living far away from your aging parent is a real balancing act.  Trying to be in two places at one time is emotional and physically draining on the responsible child and their immediate family, along with the aging parent.  Leaving an elderly, partially helpless mother in the hands of a strangers in an unfamiliar home while you are 500 miles away is gut- wrenching, to say the least.  Bringing her to the area closer to your home also provides problems.  In her home town she’ll find friends and relatives living in the same place, making the transition to an assisted home a little easier.  While bringing her closer to family will isolate her in a sttange place until the family visits.  These decisions are not only hard, they are some of the most difficult, for both parent and child.  But realizing that the parent/child reversal is not being accepted and the elder is losing weight and not thriving as she was for the 1st 4 months of recovery from a bad fall, needs to be reviewed and changed  before the deterioration continues and culminates in sickness or death.  Of course as aging continues everything will need to be reviewed and evaluated again and again.  Both for the elder mother and the aging children who are entering the same stages of decline she has be fighting for a few years with strength and grace.  “A place for mom” is an exercise in love, bewilderment, agony, guilt, hurt, and tragedy for both mother and child as they travel life’s ending road.  Hopefully God’s Grace will shine through enlightening and softening these times of our lives.