For help has a certain way of diplomacy in the request.  The tone of voice has alot to do with it.  If it comes in a commanding, guilt laden voice it no longer becomes a request but a demand.  A demand, indicates a right to demand which diminishes the demanded the right to decline.  This musters the feeling that free will is no longer a thing the demanded of possesses.  This causes the demanded to refuse on both constitutional and religious rights of freewill.

While asking for help in a loving, needing way creates a loving response to do whatever one can do to help.  One needs to know the the diplomacy of asking and why one might receive a negative reply.

As one ages the difference becomes very clear and one is enlightened to the ways of requesting and the need for refusing.