We’ve been together a long time.  Our wedding day was almost 50 years ago and we have known each other probably 56 years.  I so worry that someday soon the Good Lord will see fit to take one of us to our forever home leaving one of us behind.    My memory is beginning to fail me some, so putting our daily escapades into words will keep our love alive and close in my mind and heart.

If I leave first I want him to be able to read about our road trips, our days of interactions and my love for him so he never forgets the love in my heart and soul that he will always have and the happiness that he has given to me on a daily basis.

So Pudge if you are reading this, I must be gone.  Know I left with tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart that will only be relieved when we are together again. I really can’t remember life without you.  You are my soul my heart and most of my mind. We have nine wonderful human beings on this earth created because of our love.  So if you are missing me just go look at them and see my love staring back at you.  You and I are a part of them and they are the greatest part of us on earth.  My eyes are tearing up and Donovan is asking why I’m crying so I must stop this excerpt now but will continue later.  I’m feeling our time together is slowly dwindling and will end sooner then either of us expect. My love for you is even greater then our glorious times in Erie.

Will continue later.

I stopped and cleaned my car after driving 8 hours before coming home. I’m sorry.  My car was so dirty and covered with bugs I just couldn’t stand it.

What went through my mind when he said “I have a confession”?  Great…He did bring me home my favorite candy and it’s still in his car.

It’s funny the thoughts that go through my head when he feels guilty.  He knows I was waiting all day for him to come home and he feels guilty.  But I didn’t even notice he was late.  I was catching up on Netflex, the episodes of Scandal I missed.

But love that he felt guilty and thought I noticed he was late.

It’s Friday night and he’s been making eggplant parm for the past 2 hours.  I’m not sure why he has such a passion for eggplant but once he starts making it he’s glued to the kitchen.

I have never seen anyone make such a production out of cooking something like he does this recipe.  I just continue to watch the news, Hawaii 5 O and now Blue Bloods.  He mustn’t be starved as this dish has no appearance of being close to being done.

It’s a darn good thing my retired groom is crazy about me and loves to cook, or someone with a good casserole of Eggplant Parm might be able to find a place at our table.  NOTTTTTT!

Neither of our parents got to enjoy this post-children, post-college and post-career era that most couples work toward.  My parents didn’t make it to their 34th Anniversary and my mother-in-law was widowed by her 40th.  Our children are grown and well on their way with homes and children of their own. Our financial responsibilities are completed and time is our own.  We are blessed to be heading to our 50th and in good health.

Working on our bucket list although it’s not actually on paper, long range planning has never been our thing.  It took a little time to adjust to the 24/7 togetherness and our roles at this time in our lives, but I think we’ve been ironing out those kinks in the road on a daily basis. Although bed time and whose car are we taking today come up in a bit of an adversarial scenario daily. I’m not looking forward to the day we decide to be a one car retired couple although my Miata will always have a place in our garage.

Our house keeps us grounded and I don’t see that changing in the too near future.  But unloading some of the clothes and stuff that We have accumulated in our closets, garage and basement are a constant conversation that seems to be going nowhere.

Hopefully me and my retired groom will be able to ease in to forever, without the abrupt kick in the pants over the rainbow my parents got.

Hey maybe that will be this retired couple’s new Irish/Hungarian Blessing.

“May you ease into forever without the abrupt kick in the pants over the rainbow that our parents got.”

Or

“May we get to use all the Social Security $$$$ that we paid in every pay check for over 40 years plus the interest it should have earned.” Especially since our parents never got to use their government investment.

I am not a dollar store shopper but his mother is.  On this trip home he took her to the dollar store and found some of the things I love.

I can’t believe a bag full of English Lavender soap and Secret deodorant would melt my heart.  These two things in the surprise bag means he thinks of me and the things I love and do.  I can never have enough of this particular soap.  It makes our house smells good.  I put it in my drawers, in my couch cushions, under the pillows of my guest bed because it’s soothing and a wonderful smell.  And to find these smaller containers of my only used deodorant in 50 years is wonderful. The little things he thinks of and brings home to me just warms my heart and makes smile. My retired groom gets a big kiss and I’ll forgive him this time for forgeting our hometown Philadelphia Chocolates.

That is until I try to call for an update of your trip and I get no answer on either your cell or car phone.  Then I realize you are doing what you love to do when you travel– talk on the phone.  Thank goodness for Bluetooth.  When I finally get through you tell me you have another call coming in from Richard. Forgot how much I hate those phones when we travel and how you have always keep in touch with everyone now that they are coming right through the rear view mirror.  Will stop worrying about you now because no matter where you roam you always find someone to phone.

While you’re gone I’m meeting my baby sister and her little granddaughter today for lunch. Boy time flies.  I remember carrying her home from the hospital and now she has a granddaughter.  Hope you’re looking down on us today mom and dad and see that you’re baby is doing great. I hope this retired bride and her groom continued raising her the way you expected.  I know of all your kids she is the gold medal of your accomplishments.  I hope your early departure wasn’t to hard on her and that we filled the gap with enough love a guidance.

Love when we talk on the phone and he gives me his where abouts with restaurant locations.  As he left our home town today he said the pizza church was loaded for lunch. Yes, I know exactly where he is.  There will be 8 hours of updates during this long rainy day trip home.  It reminds me of our college days when he used to hitch hike 8 hours to see me.  I grabbed a bus and headed his way on a few weekends. That was before cell phones so the anticipation of arrivals were more stressful.  Now I can call his cell phone or car phone and get an updated ETA. 50 years ago I would just wonder how far he was and worry if he was ok and how long before I would see his handsome face.  The years have been good to us and I still can’t wait to see my retired groom’s handsome face and his big smile when he sees mine.  Is this Love?  Yes, yes it is!

Forgot to disarm my alarm today and it went off.  Scared the Bejeeses out of me. As I headed to turn it off I could smell what seemed like a camp fire. Where have I smelled this before?  I think it was when my other lamp started to smoke. Ok so now I’m on the hunt.  Did my alarm go off because of smoke or because I didn’t disarm it?  Is it the lamp or is it the socket.  Or is it just my smeller?  Wish my feller were here cause his smeller is so much better.   But wait.  I’m getting closer to the smell. There must be a wind blowing that is coming down the chimney.  As I open the glass doors on the fireplace the smell is really strong.  I think I found the problem.  We need to clean out the fireplace.  Another chore to put on my retired groom’s “Honey Do”… List.

Had one last night and it made me dizzy. Now today’s Aura is giving me a headache.  Just can’t believe there’s nothing to do about them.

Trying to get this off my everyday diet but it’s my caffeine of choice.  Today I’m heading to 7/ 11 to get one 20 oz bottle. Everything takes time.  A few days and my mind just thinks about having a Cola.  Not any Cola only Coca-Cola has the taste I need.  I should be in a commercial the way I’m hooked on this soft drink.  My grandsons all know they can get a Coca-Cola here and if they know all my hiding places they will find some chocolate too..   Only a Coca-Cola will get me moving today.  Thank God this retired groom’s bride doesn’t smoke or drink anything with alcohol.  Coca- Cola is my downfall.  Not a fountain Coke with ice, only the ice cold 20 oz bottle has the right  mixture of carbonation and syrup for me.   And let me tell you it’s hard to stop craving it. They call me the Coke Lady at 7/11.   COCA-COLA it’s the Real Thing…  Ahhhhhh, you know the feeling.

My eyes are dozing but I just can’t go upstairs.  The news scares me when your not here.  Dreamt that I was in the hospital, alone and I didn’t have any ID on me so they didn’t know who to call. Then I realized we come in the world alone and leave alone, that scares me. Going somewhere without you scares me.  I guess, in case you didn’t notice I don’t roam far from home or from you. It’s always you who roams and I know it’s always been necessary but some how now that we are coming to the end of the road I’m afraid we won’t see each other again.  It was bye mom and poof she was gone. Remember that?  Bye and 3 days later she was in the ground.  This time of our lives gives us too much time to think. Someday we’ll kiss goodbye and poof all the memories will be up in the air and the string that we have held onto all these years is beyond our fingertips.  The Manor House, the Oasis, Berea, Reynolds all of it will be like faded pictures that can’t be restored. It’s 2 AM and I’m eating a can of Early Garden Sweet Peas and missing you sooooooo  much.

What did I Do?  Slept in a little,  just felt exhausted and woke up refreshed. Taxes done, sealed and mailed.  Senior discount papers sent in too. Also applied for a part-time/part-time job at something I think would be good for me.   By 5:30 pm I got 8000 steps in and now I’m on the couch watching Fixer Upper on HGTV.  Love this program. Would move to Texas in a heartbeat if they could do a house for me.

Hope your day is going as good as mine.      XOXOXO♥♥

It’s 3 AM and I’m awake. I guess you aren’t the one who wakes me at this time every morning.  We live on the train tracks and they roar by every morning at this time.  Since you’re with your mom I realize I’ve been blaming you for the early wake up call when all along its been the Burlington Northern plus a freight train that shakes our bed.   Maybe a cup of sleepy time tea will get me back to sleep.  Ok now there’s a small plane overhead and another train and someone delivering the paper with a bad muffler.  Trains, planes and automobiles and the clock now struck 3:30 AM.  Wow this is a noisy place at this time of the morning.  Miss you.

When he’s gone, there’s not to much to do although my grandson and I worked on my little car and I gave him a driving lesson on the stick shift. He was so excited. Bought the car a couple months before he was born so both he and the car are the same age. He really did well and I laughed everytime he stalled.  Thought it would scare me to let him drive but he is a joy to be around.

Hoping my retired groom is having a good day.  After being together 24/7 on vacation for 2 weeks, seperating is a little upsetting.  Will be glad when he’s back in my arms again.  Ain’t no sunshine when he’s gone.

His mother didn’t  sound good on the phone today so he is on his way back to our hometown.  He and his brother make this trip once a month so she can stay independent and living in her home of twenty years. The gated community has been a wonderful place to live and she has friends that keep in constant contact.  She has become more confined as driving is no longer an option although we been told she’s been seen behind the wheel at the community mailbox. But with little traffic in this gated neighborhood it gives her a bit of freedom to get out and be in control.

As the days roll by she is becoming more irritated and confused and her two boys call her throughout the day to keep her engaged.  But today she’s more upset than usual so the 8 hour drive is required to stock up on groceries, help her pay bills and get her in to the Drs. to make sure that a cut on her leg is healing.  She’s been through a lot, widowed at 57, broken hip and fractuted pelvis in the past 5 years.  Age has slowed her some and made her more afraid of venturing from the house but she still manages her day to day pretty well.

Hoping his visit  and the spring weather will get her in better spirits and on the mend.  While he’s gone I will be cleaning out closets, working in the yard and getting the porch and patio ready for summer.

That’s how this retired couple rolls.

We are hunting today for the bag of Thomas’s English Muffins of which he had one for breakfast a couple hours ago. We’ve looked everywhere and he is sure I’ve done something with it. If I did I don’t remember. Our memories are progressing at the speed of light, downhill. It’s been an hour and they still have not turned up. Can’t wait to find them so one of us is off the hook for the dementia adjective. These are the games of this retired couple, that keep us moving, thinking and in constant love with each other.

8pm still no English muffins.

No muffins have shown up.

Yes, the muffins appeared today, on Easter.  Hubby said they were in the fridge, said he looked there,  must not have been wearing his glasses for 3 days.  So, our minds are intact but his glasses must be missing.  This is retirement with my retired guy, daily.

Bed time means something different to me than it does to my retired groom. Trying to keep my eyes open means bedtime to me. His bedtime is by the clock. Tonight he’s been asleep since 8:10 pm. When I wake him and say let’s go to bed, he says he not going to bed at 8:15. Its 9:15. I’m going up to bed. I’m not sure what time the clock has to reach before he agrees it’s bedtime but sure he will wake me when he gets into bed and then I’ll know tonights bedtime. Mine is pretty consistent. I like to get into bed before the sandman arrives.

During our days of retirement my guy comes up with new phrases that make me laugh.  Seldom do I know what they mean until he gives me an explanation. I will add to this post as time goes by. Some phases have no explanation.  Of course alot of my phrases come out of my mouth with a meaning that my retired groom has to interpret because my words are close but never on point

Here’s a few:

Patient Corvette – seeing a corvette behind a semi just patiently going the speed limit rather than gunning his engine and darting in and out of traffic to show his speed with his mighty machine.

I try to keep you from getting into trouble before you let words travel out but I guess I haven’t instructed you enough in my sign language.  You see, I took grandparenting classes at Northwestern, on our daughter’s request before our first one was born. In addition I had in-law grandparents and you only had 4 years of experience with mine.

Today my retired groom, your grandparenting skills are up in the air again.  I tried to head you off but like a freight train with a full belly of steam you barrel through.

Intrusions into others family life is what we become when we tread where we have not been asked to walk.  Our views are becoming archaic and unwelcomed. Grandparenting is to be only fun and games, when we are not in charge or opinions not requested.

Just giving you my best advice for the future in case I precede you to the promised land.

On our latest road trip my retired groom was up and down to breakfast by 7 am.  Me not till 9.  He fills the time with exercise in the fitness room or talking to anyone he comes in contact with while I sleep soundly, hibernating warmly under the covers.

This morning his audience were two of the hotel’s housekeepers that found themselves in the elevator with him as he was on his way back to our room.  He got their attention by asking them if they had a spray that would protect him from a sleeping bear.  They were all ears with his explanation of what he would confront when he opened our door. That would be me ~ his grouchy sleeping bear.

Of course he woke me with two wonderful muffins, the story he told the housekeepers and a handful of the little shampoo bottles that this hotel always provides to their guests.

His professional salesmanship has provided us a wonderful life and now that same gift of gab continues to serve him well.  Today his grooming kit is filled with those little bottles of shampoo that he loves.  And his sleeping bear got her 8 hours of sleep.                        Grrrrrrrrreat!

It could be anything.  These words are out of his mouth before he even knows what he’s missing.  Our latest road trip was a constant liturgy of “Where’s my?” I felt like a bobble head, searching for what he might be looking for.

The funniest search was  for his cell phone. We looked for 20 minutes and then he said “here”.  Call the hotel and see if I left my phone in the room.   I dialed the hotel without realizing I was using his phone that he just pulled from his pocket.  The same phone for which we were looking.

Just another 24/7 with my retired groom who is losing my mind along with his own.

Leaving paradise Is always bittersweet for me.  I love being a part of the ocean sounds and views and yet miss my home.  Since I can’t move the ocean I may need to relocate our home.

While attending a vacation seminar my retired groom came out with actuary predictions that his lifespan is about 8 years and mine a mere 10 years.  Well that shocking tidbit of info diverted my attention from the timeshare pitch to my bucket list. Immediately, I said give me the bottom line.  Cheapest price to buy is my interest NOW and I’m out of here. Wasting my last 10 years at this presentation, only LOOKING at the beach is wasting precious minutes of my 10 year timeline.  Dreaming is over….Doing is the verb for this retired bride now.  Doing for these next 10 years is my battle cry.  Doing, doing, doing.  I believe Nike has my new agenda in print.  JUST DO IT . . .and.         DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Spring break for us this year included a chance again to buy a vacation timeshare, in Myrtle Beach.

My retired groom never passes up a good deal.  Knowing that heaven to his retired bride is a 5***** star hotel on the beach, he always finds a way to take me there whenever he can. This year South Carolina was our destination at the original Springmaid Resort purchased by Hilton last year and rebranded as a Doubletree.  The property is only half-finished in its renovation but the 27 acres hugging the Atlantic is beautiful and the part that is opened was a wonderful oasis on the ocean at the quiet end of Mrytle Beach.

Sitting through a 2 hr sales presentation at Hilton’s newest resort, Oceans 22, was pleasant, although not for us.  From the 10th story condo’s floor to ceiling expansive glass view of the Atlantic Ocean, the coast appears as a skyline of high-rise resorts. This area does seem to be a more reasonably priced place to spend the cold winter months.

We walked the beach and later watched a large storm cell create mutiple tornado watches and warnings. This was the perfect place to get ready for the same change of seasons, a few weeks behind in our neck of the woods.

Waves and the ocean breezes are heaven.   But seeing the room service menu and realizing I could order a Tin of CHOCOLATE chip cookies with a bottle of milk, I knew my retired groom had really reach a new height in pleasing and pampering me.  He “Hung the Moon” over the Ocean for me this time.

April Fools.

My retired groom fell for this one hook line and sinker until I added that he nominated Hillary to be the VP.

LOL.

Leaving for vacation and I notice the headlight is out on his car.  No problem we’ll just go over to the dealership and have them install a new one.

2 hours later and an estimate of $340 for a new headlight and I realize a new question to ask before we buy a new car.  Like how much are lights to replace along with a few more concerning maintenance pricing.  Still have 1 payment left on the car and the headlight is more than the car payment. Now I know why they increased the mileage on the bumper to bumper warranties on new cars. Just put in a new battery yesterday for $189.  And now a headlight.  This could really sink a beach vacation if it weren’t already prepaid.

Guess the dealership thought they had us.  We made a call and drove 4 hours into our vacation and stopped at our daughters home.  Called the dealer in her town and got the headlamp installed at this dealership for half the price.  Still a lot, in my opinions, but better than the original estimate.

My dad always told me a car is not an investment.  It’s nothing but an expense. As usual his words always prove true. My retired HUBBY always asks if he has filled my dad’s shoes yet and examples like this and reiterating my dad’s words make him think no, not yet.  I never tell him my dad only wore a size nine shoe and he wore a size 10 1/2  when I met him 55 years ago.  In my eyes both of these men are the absolute best. And I’m sure their sons and grandsons will follow in their shoes.

Today is one of those days.  I miss her guidance I miss her love but most of all I miss her hugs.  It’s been a year today since she’s been gone to be with her David and her John.

I’ve packed my retired groom for years. Otherwise, he would have never made his scheduled flights.  Overnights, 2 weeks in China, no problem.  But since he retired he has taken over his packing.  Oh boy.  The outfits and the shoes that he just can’t go without make it hard for me to find a place to sit, both in our car or the limo to the airport.

I for one am glad for the luggage fees on planes.  First it makes us fly Southwest my favorite airlines..(2 bags fly free).  And second it makes him limit his wardrobe.

Before the fees, 3 bags plus golf clubs were the norm for him.  Me- one bag plus my carry on tote.  There was always a bag for his shoes.  My guy loves clothes.

Now, I try to list the clothes we need by day and try to explain color coordination so 1 pair of shoes can go with many outfits. As much as I try to monitor his packing we’ve had to take clothes and shoes out of bags and redistribute the weight so as not to be charged the overweight fee at the check-in counter. Although my guy isn’t unique as I’ve seen many people doing this same act of redistibution every time we fly.

Driving is another problem altogether.  He manages to bury more items as he packs the car.  But once we get on the road and I can calm down from the overpacking we always have a great time whether it’s a short jaunt or an extended sightseeing journey.  My retired groom is always ready to show me new sights and great places. But we always come back home with way more clothes then he could ever wear and he swears he is never packing so much again. Yeah, heard that before.

My guy loves to vacuum.  Me . . . not so much.

After spending time with his mom and her new vacuum he was on a search for the red Shark.   Now that we own it he loves to run it.

Like the lawnmower the vacuum has hours of operation.  Not before 9 am and it’s curfew is 8 pm.  It picks up wonderfully in fact it sucks up everything in its path. Funny how retirement has changed our roles and priorities.

This idea just makes me laugh.  The kids always thought their dad had some type of monitored on me because he could always track me down.

Yesterday I went shopping and because I walk with my hands in my pocket or push a cart, my fitbit didn’t pick up my steps. My retired groom suggested I put the fitbit on my ankle (see the picture below).  So I did. It is now picking up all my steps.  Today I’m doing laundry and since carrying baskets up and down steps tend to keep my arms stationary I usually don’t get my steps all counted. Now, with the fitbit on my ankle all my steps are being tracked.

Sometimes my retired groom has great ideas.  But I wonder what people might think when I start wearing Capri pants and sandals and the fitbit shows.  They could think I’m a criminal on the loose, or in my case just a retired bride being tracked by her retired groom.   LOL.

When we retired we made a bucket list which included going to D.C. to see the Cherry Blossoms in March. Somehow for the past 6 years they have bloomed without us being there.

I can’t believe how quickly time flies when you’re not working and everyday is like a Saturday.  We need to readjust our list as the blooms will be on there way out for 2017.

Hope this retired married couple complete the list before we kick the bucket.

When is this Madness going to be over?

The only positive thing about March Madness tonight is getting carry out at Noodles and Company.  Ok, his retired bride is happy now, so I’m watching Oregon and Kansas playing for the next bracket.  But really I’m playing Candy Crush on my phone.  Shhhhhh don’t tell.

NO-Not the prom. The month of March has college play-off games called March Madness. I would think when your team loses you’re out. Guess not. Bracketology then takes over.  So its Friday night and the retired groom can hardly keep his eyes opened but there’s another game that will fill another bracket. He can’t understand why when everyone is watching who is going to be at the big dance I would want to go to bed.

I explain, its like when we’re at a wedding and the band is in full swing and my dancing shoes are on and ready to go, he says its late, let’s get going. His feet hurt and I say just mosey over to the bar and soak your feet with a couple of drinks. If he can walk 18 holes of golf then a few dances should be easy. He asks how many and I say 2 fast dances and 2 slow unless the electric slide comes up, then that one too. We make it through 2 fast and one slow, and then we do the stroll out to the car. We just aren’t sock-hoppers anymore.

I’m not sure how in this past presidential election, a husband and wife holding opposite views could make very happy bedfellows.  This election has encompassed many issues that have grabbed many by their core.  Their christian values, their feminine views, their racial opinions not to mention the worries of health care and unemployment.

Through this distasteful and upsetting battle of candidates and platforms, I realized that my mother’s words, “the more you have in common the easier the marriage will be,” proved so true to me.

Falling in love doesn’t always find the easiest path but sharing the same faith and following the Greatest Commandments of loving God and Your Neighbor as Yourself have proved to be a great foundation in this marriage.

I can see the sadness in his eyes as he watches the news today about an American man being killed and his wife injured on their 25th wedding anniversary trip to England.  His sadness is twofold.   His heart is aching for the woman who just lost the love of her life and the fear that it has stirred up for the country.  He also sees the determination in my eyes as I again become resolute about never traveling abroad.

My retired groom has traveled all over the world for his job. He wants to show me the Great Wall of China, the Effel Tower, the Changing of the Guards at the Buckingham Palace, and of course Hungary, Poland and Ireland the birthplace of our grandparents.  These terrorist attacks just deepen my feelings that I’m only interested in seeing sights in the land of my birth even though 9/11, has made me realize that no one is safe from those who don’t value life, not even their own.

Our other impediments to traveling are: trains, planes and automobiles not to mention boats.  I don’t want to fly over water and my retired groom doesn’t like the idea of floating with a motor on ocean waves.  I don’t understand how a tube with wings, weighing tons, with me inside can stay in the air and he sees every cruise ship as another Titanic.  So until we can come to some understanding  we will be sightseeing in the land of our birth by way of the trusty wheel.  Although we aren’t looking forward to seeing Trump’s Wall.

Who would think a new electronic gizmo could make 2 people laugh and enjoy a late evening so much?

Let me begin by explaining that I bought the Echo Dot, after seeing the advertisements on TV.  Got it home and we all had fun with it over Christmas.

But like all new gadgets it has sat on the shelf with little use since the holidays. Then I realized I could listen to audio books on it so up to our bedroom it went.

Last night as I told Alexa (the voice of Echo Dot) to wake me at 8 am and to play ocean sounds until I fell asleep, my husband enter the room and decided to have Echo play music.  For the next two hours we went from DooWhop through the 50s, 60s, 70s and then continued to reexamine our memories of Music Appreciation Classes with The Grand Canyon Suite, the Painted Desert to Peter and The Wolfe.  Our toes were dancing on the sheets and our voices were singing along to all our high school love songs.

Even this late in our years my retired groom manages to show me a fun date night.  It didn’t cost a cent and there was no need to worry about what to wear or even put on make up.  Oh yeah, he did run down stairs to get some wine.

Unexpected date nights seem to be the norm as these retired grandparents look forward to retiring to bed earlier and earlier these days.

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