Very little now
My thoughts are negative
And gloomy
The end is on the horizon
And my mind
Daily
Spring 2024
Buds are popping
Winter brown grass
Has turned green
More dogs are walking their
Owners at a brisk step
As more dogs are
Passing their way…
You can hear the mowers
Cutting new grass
And chain saws
Cutting dead wood
As more arms and
Legs are on display
kids are looking
Forward to warm weather…
First communions and
Confirmation this week
As every spring
Graduations are coming
Soon along with Mother’s
Day and bands playing
In passing parades…
I’m working on taxes
Watching the world
Skip by on this warm
And sunny spring day
As April 15th will be
Here soon as with every
Passing Spring…
Reminders
Everywhere I look
Yet no one else
Knows or sees…
Things that hurt
As words said
Are remembered…
One carries
The pain
Another carries
The guilt
Of that long, long, long
Ago
Deed…
Re entry
After 3 weeks apart
You realize how different
You are…
I enjoy silence
He likes to talk
In minute detail…
His mind runs a hundred
MPH…
Mine is at turtle speed…
Food is like a vowel
In his vocabulary…
To him
Everything is urgent…
I’m a mañana type
Of girl…
So I’m hoping reentry
Will be better mañana…
Do I love you 💕❤️
More than you realize
More than you know…
Alone
Is not lonely
Not having to be anywhere
Say anything
Do anything
Not having to be there
When
Where
How long
Am I becoming
A hermit
A recluse
Or have I done enough
In my life
To take me
To the end…
Running, planning
Cooking, cleaning
Talking, doing
Doing, doing…
I have been so busy
Doing all my life
That I’ve lost … Me
Raised
With different values
Moral and beliefs
Make friendships hard to
Continue or keep…
Take a stand
Tell it like it is
Getting off the elevator
When your friends want to decend
Is what I listened to..
Commitment meant with
body and soul…
Not just lip service
When others don’t
Or a showy display…
Not afraid of namecalling
Humiliation when truth
Is being trampled…
Stepping in, standing up
Being counted on
Bring up many
Thoughts during this
Easter Week…
Nothing mattered…
Once she took her last breath…
Dust, mess, un maid beds
Her worries for her children
The dirty oven…
We all went on
We were stuck in place for a while
Expecting to see her appear
The minute we cleaned out
Closets
Gave away her clothes
And we did it on tippy toes
Worrying about her anger
Of us touching her stuff…
But none of it mattered
Life went on…
I realize how much
The stuff I have is just stuff
My soul is my treasure
As was hers…
Resting…
Enjoying my mini vaca…
Not in a hurry to start
Doing chores or
Redecorating…
Need some down time
After surgery and
Losts of tests…
Somewhere my
Get up and Go
Galloped away…
Where it went
I don’t know…
Everything has become
Too hard to do
Making a hair appointment
Creating a bit of
Chaos within…
Calling a friend
All overwhelm me
So its better
To just stay in…
Mass
Has many definition
So exactly how is
The radiologist describing
Mass…
Night …
Shadows in at the end of the day
With daylight having no more
To say…
Things done in light
Are not as tolerated at night…
The birds stop flying and singing
Their song
Knowing a predator may do them
Wrong…
Found new press on nails…
Easier to put on
Stays on longer
No glue required
My french manicure
Is now a perminent
Fixture on my hands…
Thanks to my
Diva Dashing press-on Nails…
Anticipation…
Of alone time is making
Me quiver…
Things I want to do
Fly through my mind
Things I should do
May again be put on hold…
Today
My heart it is a beating
In a fast, peculiar way
My BP seems ok
But my body is
Seeming to say…
Take it easy
Calm down
Everything is shaking
Within…
I feel an earthquake
Brewing
Yet know not where or
When
But something is
Erupting
Deep with in my skin…
Vulcanization…
Hope I spelled it right!
Just read about him on facebook
And thought it might be a good
Topic for my middle school
grandson to write about!
Since his mother lived in Akron
Ohio for a few years due to her
Dad working for Goodyear Tire
And Rubber and his-mom getting to
Drive the Blimp!
Sometimes
You have to wonder
What God has planned…
When the world is in
Such upheaval
Is He really seeing you…
Looking out my window
Watching the lives in
Our neighborhood go on
I’m feeling in limbo
With fear in my heart…
Adapting…
Trying very hard to
Adapt to the days getting
Longer…
Need to somehow reset
When I want to be in
Bed earlier…
My mind when awake
Hours become so trying…
Under a thumb
I’m realizing is not
Just a feeling of one
But felt by both…
Outside time is needed
Time alone…
Shared inside time
Isn’t working
As one unduz
What the other does
So the effort when not
Appreciated is stopped
Making us both unhappy
With the results…
One wanting to cook
And eat constantly
One wanting to eat out
Or not at all…
When there’s nowhere
To be…no schedule to keep
No routine…
2 begin to bark
At every slight annoyance…
And of course each has
Their own annoyance
And flashpoint…
The annoyances are becoming
Many
And the flashpoint
Coming quicker and
More often…
Bedtime is no longer
Soothing these
Prickly Pairs….
The road to 76
Has been a fast ride…
School, marriage , BA degree
3 kids, 2 businesses MS degree
6 grandsons and 12 years
Of retirement with the same
Man by my side…
He’s great
But
So am I…
Honestly, I feel like those
Years passed by in a blink
Of an eye…
Now retired I read and watch
Y&R and B&B…
Seeing my General Hospital
And All My Children Stars passing
Away…
When Did Magnum PI
Become Commish Regan
With that dyed hair and
wrinkles..
Went to our 50th HS Reunion
In 2015/2016… now we are
Reading the obits leading
Up to our 60th wondering who
We might see and praying
McGonigals won’t show up
With a picture of me…
Speaking of the picture, will
There be a yearbook picture
Or heaven forbid the white haired
76+ wrinkled old lady that no
One will recognize…
I better get out my glamour shot
And put it in my last travel bag
with…
My coffin dress, press on nails,
Jones Road make up, eyebrows
And the obituary so I go “my way“
Yes, I’m from the cusp of the
Sinatra years…
Must tuck in my Charlie
And Barney and my cell phone
And my last request for an
Electric connection attached
In the big box..:
So I can get in my last call
In case the coroner and
Undertaker are sitting
At the Brass Rail for last call
As Their hearing aides don’t
Work with their old stethoscopes
When they “think” I took my
Last breath…
And since my brother is gone
we won’t be playing Pop
Goes the Weasal waiting for
Everyone’s surprise as
He promised…
Wish it didn’t matter
Missing holidays
Anniversaries
Easter
Mothers Day
4th of July
Thanksgiving
But…
It says Volumes….
Presents and cards
Don’t speak like presence
Or lack of…
Between here & there…
Is a journey I’m not
Looking forward to
At present…
Although the timing
Is not mine to decide…
From early on my mother
Taught me end of life
Preparedness….
It happened to her just
As she believed and taught
Me to prepare for…
ours is not to reason
Why…
But only live, do and die
Always to God’s will…
The act of contrition is
Embedded in my vocal
Chords in silent prayer
And oral recitation, always
At the ready…
My only rapid preparation
That sounds quicker than our
Neighborhood tornado siren…
I never was a scout but a
Product of Catholic school
And an authentic Catholic
Mother…
But today I realize my closets
Are not in dying condition…
Why would this worry keep
Me from there…
Because somewhere along the
Way my
Mother’s teaching was tweaked
With others’ opinions…
Always have on clean undies
You never know when you’ll get
Hit by a car…
Your neighbor’s will be gossiping
Forever if you leave a messy
House…
So at 76…I’m following my
Mother teaching…
But cleaning out my closets
In case God is searching for a
Great and tidy housekeeper…
Although I ‘d be better in the
Choir….
She gave me a view..
Of life with a stroke…
Being so disabled
Not able to speak
Take care of one self
Relying on everyone
To exist…
She was trying to convince
Me of the benefit of
A Statin drug which having
Been on for 6 months
Made my life miserable
Couldn’t walk
Leg pain was unbearable
Couldn’t sleep
Legs hurt all night
So what can a cardiologist
Do when his patient won’t
Take the meds…
Ups and down
Throw me in a whirl
Never knowing how
The next minute might
Twirl…
Changes are made
Not to include me
Knowing the change
Will be a fiasco for he….
His mind is a tornado
Twisting by the hour
Causing us to constantly
Run around and scour
For something he left
And we cannot find…
As his memory is something
We seek and worry about
How long it might hide…
Retirement
Is not the life I imagined
When I stopped working…
12 years ago
At the same time
Taken over…
Dementia began
And our life has been
Daily phone calls,
More calls about bruising
Two weeks a month
He goes back home
To be with her round the clock…
His life is no longer mine
His responsibility and love
Has now become his work life..:
I’ve become withdrawn…
Say it…
Claim it…
Don’t raise your voice
To defend
It’s right…
Mad
Writing when mad
Is sad
For the writer
Worse for the reader
And unending
To the future
When put to paper…
My heart aches today
I know not why
Although our world is in
Great strife and turmoil…
The greatest commandment
Jesus said is to love
God…
And your neighbors
As yourself…
When Lord I pray
Will we follow…
Help us
Before we blow up
This world…
Gallstones
The Ultrasound showed
Little buggers that
Cause great pain
And brought my life
To a quick slowdown…
What do I eat
How to ease the pain
Until The culprits depart
On January 22nd…
No fried foods
The Dr. said or anything
Else that brings on
The pain…
You’ll know…
Afterword there will
Be pain she uttered
Especially in your shoulder…
Great…
Christmas time
By the time I was working
To buy my parents a big
Gift…
They were Dead!!!
My heart aches at this
Time of year for over
50+ Christmases…
The next two days…
May change
Life as I know it..
God’s Will
Be Done!!!
Snow today
Bought new snowblower
Just in time
But snow’s only sticking to grass
Not concrete …
So the engine and blades
Won’t be moving today…
Thankful today…
That I’m not cooking
No dirty dishes to clean..,
There’s no company coming
I’m going their way…
The kids have their families
And I can always drop in
Yet I sit here watching
The Macy parade
Wishing I was a kid again
With no other worry
Then will I get to sit at the
Dining room table
Or will someone older
Get to this year…
Statin drugs
Long story short
The leg and muscle pain
Caused me to shuffle and fall…
On my last cruise I felt
I turned 90…
I stopped taking them in December…
I can sleep now without the pain
And now its only my knees
That affects my walking at times…
I realize that I have high cholesterol
But I’m 75 feeling well
And know losing 50lbs
Would make things easier…
Yesterday a post on Pinterest
Awakened me…
I can eat right, exercise daily
Reduce stress, drink water
But… I’ll still die…
Witnessing my MIL
Aging at 95 and
My dear friend so lonley
And alone at 95
I’m not planning on
That lifetime…
I’m living today my way
Without the “poison by
prescription” as my uncles
Both medical Doctors
Said of
All chemical meds…
Every action has a reaction
One has to decide if the
Action is worth the reaction!
Days go on…
Some are sunny
Some cloudy
All created
By He who loves all…
Will it ever be just us…
Too many in this marriage
Even at this late stage…
The kids are always on our mind
On our phones
Same with his mom at 95…
Seldom alone
When the phone rings
From his brother
About his mother
Then the home
Making excuses
For the latest
bruise
Or they need help
Calming her down
As they are so understaffed…
Travels home
To be at her side
Leaves both of us
Alone and low…
A Miracle
That’s what her friend
And neighbor feels
She’s observing daily…
Some call her the “Real”
Energizer Bunny…
Watching how well
She bears her cross
Of PD over the past
15 + years makes me
Understand God’s
And a mother’s
power
Of putting her children and
Husband above and
Beyond her life altering
Detour…
How could her husband
And sons’ not succeed
In all they attempt
As they witness the determination,
Faith and absolute will to not
Let this handicap and pain affect
Their life and her mission
To do and be the best she can…
They succeed with all spark plugs
Oiled and running smoothly…
She continues to succeed with
An arm and leg slowing or
Stopping yet forward she continues
Daily and hourly….for them….
I’m in awe
Her birth was a blessing
9 months after my own
Mother’s death…
I feel she carries my mothers
Faith, will and love that were
Taken from her chilren
At a young age…
Thank you God…
Thank you Mom
For keeping her strong,
Motivated and thriving
In God’s Grace…
May the cross lighten
That she carries
As she continues on
The marathon of her life
With me always cheering…
Words said
Now…
Stuck in ears
causes constant tears…
Never heard such a tone
In the voice
Now morn
Words said…
Questions in the mind
Make thoughts wonder
Negatively…
What to know
What to think
What to do
Stay
Go
At this time
Questioning
Why…
Home Alone
PEACE
Watching
The stuff packed for
A 3 day fishing getaway
Amazes me…
More
It turns me off from
Traveling…
Can’t imagine being
Stuffed in a car
With so much…
2 poles should do it
But 4 are packed…
Why…
Are the fish so unique
That they require
Specific poles…
So why not take them
Think not…have them
I’m sure is the thinking…
Life has given us all
Too much when one
Is all that’s needed…
And plenty is never used…
Aging make me realize
The abundance we live
With… when
Less makes one more
Appreciative of what
We have…
Aging make me realize
The goodness of God
And the Capital sins
Of his believers
Not trusting in
Him for all we need…
Just my ponderings
In my aging soul…
26 weeks a year..,
We are apart
It a tough situation
For a retired couple…
But family responsibility
Continue even As we
Are aging
Looking for, 👀
Constantly looking…
Today he came home from
Walmart and couldn’t find
The cool whip he bought for
The frozen pumpkin pies
He bought for Thanksgiving…
Then he couldn’t find the
Roast Beef…
It’s ocurring more daily…
Then he found the
Roast beef under
The front seat of the car
Why?
He was eating it on
The way home…
But the cool whip
Has never showed up…
It’s odd to realize
When you speak
But you see in their face
That they aren’t listening…
Confrontations…
Seem to be daily
Not understanding why…
Halloween…
Is not my holiday..,
It’s cold today
And windy…
The door bell ringing
Will wear thin after
An hour.,,
I’ve become a grinch
I know…
Between TV And Radio
I feel there is more advertizing
Then programming…
There are anywhere from
Three to 6 different
Ads at each break…
Magazines are the same…
More ads fewer good
Articles…
Everyone is getting
A bias education from
Those they like to see
And hear, only buying
What is advertised by their
Favorite channels…
One sided views on
Politics and issues…
One side wanting to
Erase history, take women’s
Rights back to the 1800s
And decide what religion,
Race and color is right,
Worthy and God’s chosen…
I’m thinking they didn’t
Hear what JESUS said
Were the greatest Commandments…
Love GOD and thy NEIGHBOR
As thy SELF..,
What could be more clear…
Why are so many DEAF!!!
COVID…
Is on the rise again…
Disappointed that Grams
Nursing home is behind
On vaccinations…St Pauls
Is good but this is an
Awful glitch…
These most venerable
Should always be first…
An outbreak of 10 so
Far and maybe more
Today…
They are already so
Understaffed…
Sister-in-law picked it
Up there and now down
With it…
I’m staying in…
Turkey
Without you…
How many more will there be…
You there
Me here
Not the way it should be…
Where have all the flowers gone?
Asks my little red rose growing all
Alone…
They are starting to slumber before
The winter frost…
Your beautiful color stands alone
Among the beautiful fall follage
Bursting into color all around…
You alone are keeping a beautiful
Ray of summer blooming
In my yard
With the hope of more
Beauty to spring
Forward in months
To come…
Orchestration of fall…
Amazes me…
But then would God
Do it any other way…
The small yellow leaves
Seems to turn first
And are pushed to the ground…
Then the beautiful glow
Of orange and red follow
many of the smaller bushes
Showing off pungent and radiant
Variants from the yellow and
Orange color wheel…
Leaves from our front yard
Have already been pushed
To the ground and raked
Into piles for the city trucks
To take them away…
Missing the days of burning
leaves in the street
Letting everyone smell
The aroma of halloween
On the way…
Aging is not…
A great time to be alive
Especially watching
Someone 20 years older
Aging in a way that
I know she would have
Never wanted…
Watching my brother
Age with dementia
And my sister with extreme
Loneliness is not for me…
she went to bed
The only one I knew happy
To the end was my grandma
And when the alarm
Rang she didn’t wake…
What a peaceful and joyfull
End to a beautiful person…
This world is scaring me
Watching my husband worrying
Over the money we have
And will never use..:
Watching people in the world
Hurting others’ loved ones…
Watching war…
Having children and grandchilren
I can no longer shelter and keep
Safe…
Its not a road I care
To travel much longer.,.
My nightly prayer
Is for God to call my number
Soon…
So redemption can
Be mine in the end……….
Peach pudding
Heart ache
Is an odd feeling
It can hit you quick
Bring tears to your eyes
Then quickly turn to anger…
Dental School
Have a three hour
Appointment at Midwestern
Dental School…
No dental insurance
So trying this out at 75…
Let them learn on my
Mouth and time and
Hopefully I save some $$$…
So far so good…
Nothing to say…
Today
Why
Just chilling
And enjoying
Life
Alone time
And..,.
Brownies!!!!
Life is a constant cycle
Of up and downs
Highs and lows
Agreements and arguments
Compromise
Creating a winner or loser
Differing opinions
That love alone can’t conquer…
Every age has its cycle
Pressures and mind numbing
Points that set off a
Problem with self esteem
And questions of self worth…
Faith, prayer and knowledge
Of one’s direction
And path in life…
keeping one foot in
Front of the other
Knowing our equality
In the sight of God…
Alone…
But not lonesome…
Sometimes you just need
Time alone
Swallowing
Is becoming a problem…
Aging I hear can bring
This about
But a swallow of milk
Is beginning to worry me…
As I swallow it feels
Like it’s not going down
Then of course the panic
Begins and I start to cough
Sometimes it comes back up
Other times it goes down
With a burn and the pain continues
And radiates in the center
Of my chest kind of
Behind something…
Then it brings discomfort
To my shoulders
And continues for about
10 to 15 minutes
And then it’s gone
Leaving me coughing
As if an asthma attack…
It started a few months ago
But in the past few weeks
Everything seems to bring
On this blockage…
I feel like ice cream is
The only thing I’m not afraid
To swallow…
Is this my next scourge
Of aging…
First my sight, then incontinence
Then the awful cough.,,
Sleep apnea
Then my hearing and now swallowing…
It will be nice to have
A few days of peace and
Quiet but being alone
When I choke is a bit
Frightening…
Eggshells
Never know where
They lie…
But I seem to step
On them consistently…
Days ahead will be calmer
As the trip begins
And the fort is held
Down…
Enjoying
A good game
Of anything
Should be a great
Experience for both
The winner and loser…
Watching a loser
Upend the board
Be angry and give
Excuses for the loss
Is not the sign of
Good sportsmanship…
Maybe the time is
Not worth the effort
When one doesn’t enjoy
The comradery, thought
Process and level of ability
Of their…opponent…
Or just the time
For togetherness…
Voicing
Thoughts, Desires, dreams
Wants, likes, dislikes
Ideas, views that don’t
Match the partner
Are usually dismissed
And treated inferior…
Enjoying a trip up the
East Coast searching out
The best clam chowder
Getting lost on a back road
Finding Polly’s pancake house
Or Frost’s front porch have
Been wonderful trips…
Waiting for 18 holes of golf
To end or reading a book
On a lonely road worrying
About bears
Or trying to find a hotel
Late at night hoping
For the right price
Is no longer on my
Bucket list…if it ever was…
Worrisome
The uneasiness in my shoulders
The pain when I swallow
And the cough
Is making me constantly
Googling my symptoms…
I don’t care to go to the Dr.
These days as mine doesn’t
Seem to give me answers
But sends me to specialists
Who don’t seem to have the
Urgency I do…
Yes, I’m 75… Not dead…
Need answers!
Being busy…
Is not a life I want anymore…
I have no bucket lists
Although my hubby does…
List are not adventurousness
They are confining and stuctured
Not spur of the moment…
Tomorrow I may not want to do
Or go where I may have thought
I might today…
My kids don’t like that I won’t commit…
I no longer want to do what
Others want me to
Nor do I want to do what
Other think I ought to do…
This is my time… the end of
Expectations of others….
Of my era of responsibility
Working, worrying, meeting
Deadlines or Monday thru Sundays
Shoulds…
Reading, gazing, wondering,
Praying, junk food, sweet tea
And now three hour Dentist
Appointments with students
Learning…
I told them I have the
Time and will enjoy helping
Them acquire expertise
With my unbusy life…
Only a husband…
A few weeks ago I made a baking
Drawer in the kitchen…
Having containers that sit in the
Drawer with lids that come
Off with a push button
Then reseal the same way…
Each lid is marked with contents
In big black letters…
Hubby said he likes the organization
But said I put the flour lid
On the sugar container
And the sugar lid on the flour…
I just said really!!!
And let my chef think about
That!!!
After a few minutes he said
Oh…
Realizing who did it!
Another laugh…on him he said
Asking himself why he said
It out loud…
Another day in the life of this
retired groom And his bride…
Sayings I love…
Accept both compliments and criticism. It takes both sun and rain for a flower to grow.
-Unknown
Don’t wait for things to get better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now, otherwise you’ll run out of time.
-Unknown
Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.
-Unknown
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
Unknown
You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream. And that’s kind of the same thing.”
Unknown
He who has a why to live can bear almost anything – Friedrich Nietzsche
Your strongest muscle and worst enemy is your mind. Train it well.
Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today. – Will Rogers
Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving; we get stronger and more resilient. – Steve Maraboli
Regret is more powerful than gratitude…the reason why the dead get more flowers than the living…Unknown
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.” – Anonymous
There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is too short not to focus more on what matters most.
Why must…
That horrible orange man
Dominate the news
Weekly, daily and hourly
Oh…
Halloween is on its way
Allowing monsters, creeps
Goblins and the big fat
215 (not) orange man
Run free spewing his ugly
Hateful lies upon
The earth…
Sadness can sit
For hours in your heart
As your mind drifts though
Wrongs that occurred
Years apart…
A tone of the voice
Burns it deeper with a phrase
said
Reliving my life
yet heard before
in a hateful rage…
Moment by moment
A cinema that clicks in my brain
Tormenting me
Daily…
And Wondering why…
Where do I fit?
I’m not sure anymore…
Our kids have
their life puzzle
And their pictures are
Complete…
aging has made me
On the outside looking in..,
Drawn back to his mother
I’m not as important
Where I fit I just don’t know…
Will this be where I stay
A puzzle piece that no long
Fits…
His cooking
Is hard to watch…
Almost 3 hours
And only a half full bowl
Of potato salad.::
At least a dozen potatoes
When we have 4 more
Over…
So he cooked
More…
15 forks
8 spoons and a counter
Full of pots and pans…
Have to sit in another room
As he gets sick of me underfoot
Trying to keep it cleaned…
Remind me…
Next time he invites
Others over for a cookout
His dishes need to be
Prepared the night before…
Duck taped closed for
Precaution…
Pushed robo cleaner’s on
Button…as a lot of his prep
Has landed on the floor
And we no longer have a dog…
The robo sweeper is worth
The price…no walk, clean up
Or barking.. priceless.,.
He’s a great cook
But as a caterer I would
Never let him in my house..
Although I know
A lot of my friends
Would…
Who….the Fall Guy
Moved it???
Seems to be the constant
Question as we are aging…
Yesterday, Amazon delivered his belt
I put it on the bannister so it wouldn’t
Get lost with all his other stuff
He leaves through out…
He came home, asked if his
Package came Yes was my answer…
I told him I put it on the banister…
Later that evening he asked the same
Question, my answer
Was the same….
No he said it isn’t there…
That’s not where you
Put it… as he retrieved
It from the kitchen counter…
Did I put it on the counter???
Not likely
Be he doesn’t like to
Realize he forgets
What he does…so
Aging I guess is making
Me his fall guy…
Golf, football, fishing
And trips home…
Seldom do things include
Things I’d like to do…
Movies, dinner, sightseeing
Nothing overkill just something
Including my desires…
10 years of our retirement
Have flown and most things
I enjoy…he doesn’t…
Now it includes
Chess…
Wish I understood
The Mood changes…
Wish I understood
Why I would ever want
To go anywhere when I’m treated
So bad…
Now somehow the bad mood
Is my fault and hating
Tom Selick like I care…
Need to stay focused
On not getting myself
In trouble with being upset
And raising my blood pressure…
Aging is taking a toll
On both of us….
He just doesn’t realize it…
Darkness
Inside
Scares me beside
Belief…
Wondering where’s
Relief
From thoughts that are
Beneath
The goodness
Of this soul…
Trip ends on a sad note…
Got wrong amount of corn…
Get tired of getting blamed for
All his short comings…
Came over to give him $6…
And he told me to get 6
More ears…
Got another bag
And got six
But somehow he didn’t
Get 12 in his bag…
So instead of a dozen
And a half he only got
8 or 10 in his bag
He said there 14 total…
My bag had 6
How many did he get…
Blame and complaining
Is getting worse…
I paid $9.00
Something we were doing together
H says I barged in…
So much for growing old together…
52 60 watt light bulbs
Glowing when I came downstairs
At 9:30…
Who does this…
My hubby../
Story Spinner
He’s always been a salesman
But the story he spun today…I’m
not
Buying…
He noted that the grass is
Doing good since he’s
Letting it grow longer…
When he was working
He cut it short because
He didn’t know when
He’d get to it again since
He traveled so much and
He wanted it neat…
Nice try and we both laughed
Because back then he wasn’t
Aware he could raise or
Lower the mower…
It was probably Rich
Telling and showing him
How to raise the mower
So as not to burn out
The grass in our hot Julys..:
Miss Rich and think of
Him often…RIP
No
Should be an ability
A right of all…
But today it comes
With anger
Chastisement
And disrespect…
A small word
That will be used more
Until it’s understood
That it is a
Right…
Bruises
2 leg abrasions
Described by nurse..:
At the same height
On both legs
Seems very specific to me…
Describe as a circular cut
On one leg and a
Triangular cut on the other
Come from something specific
That she was hit against
With enough force to
Tear the skin…
The two items have to
Be close together on
Some surface at shin
Height to cut her legs
Simultaneously…
These injuries should
Not be tolerated
An investigation of the
Why, how and where
They occurred…needs
To be unearth so they
Can be padded to not
Occur again..,
Chess games
Are in my favor
Today…
8/6 with One stand-off…
It can change
In a blink of an
Eye
If he could only stay focused…
So disrupting his focus
Is my winning edge…
Stage six
Is where I think we are
With his mother…
And has been here for over a year…
Yet the first stages
Are beginning in another…
Fearful of these episodes…
Sad again
That the underbelly
Shows again
But this time on the
Younger generation…
Games can’t be played
As one has to be best
At all cost
To the hurt of others
I will not see it again..,
idiosyncrasies….
We all have them…
Others know we have them
Yet it’s upsetting when one
Talks to someone else
About them.:.
Today is our 7th day of Chess…
It’s hard to believe we been married
This long and have never played
Chess…
My previous post on our game
Was letting him win to
Keep him interested…
After 7 games we are now
4 to 3 with me in the lead
So of course he’s ready to
Play again …
He gets distracted easily
So turning the game in
My favor is finding new
Things to distract him…
Which is easier said then done
As he becomes more focused…
I’m enjoying the challenge
As we are both new to the game…
At this age in our life it’s good
To find new things to do
Together that keep us engaged
And enjoying life…
Aging with Jane…
Air quality on Red alert
For the past couple days
Due to Canadian wild fires…
Bit hard to breathe
And the foggyness
Looks like my regular
Eyesight with my
Cataracts in full bloom…
Being a lifelong learner
Aging is educating on
A daily basis and I’m sure
By the end I will have
A PHD
In aging
And old age…
So far 75, white hair
Cataracts,
Are my credentials
For this final career…
Of Aging with Jane…
My hair
Is Snow White
Making me look my age…
No one has told me lately
That I don’t look 75…
Sooo….
I’m debating
On coloring my hair as I did
For years…
Hubby’s been a white head
Since 30 and I loved
People thinking I was younger
Now I look like Barbara Bush…
Wonder why…
His mood varies
And change so rapidly…
1st full day
Of intermittent fasting…
My sister lost alot
Of weight this way…
Can eat from 3to7
So far so good
No sugar ice tea…
Experience
75 years of life
Has provided
Experiences beyond
My wildest dreams…
Irish, Catholic theology
Till death do you part
And much folklore…
Parents and grandparents
And my own 56 years vows…
Education, work and ownership
Work environments…
Birthing 3 children
And raising a sibling…
Travel, home ownership
Political views and
Voting since I was 21…
Belief in a greater creator
A democratic way of governing…
Not interested in those not
Believing in Freedom for all…
Knowing our living on
Earth will determine our
Road in eternity…
Believing in Jesus
As the only way to live
And love…
Knowing how to detour around
Occasions of sin…
Free thinking
And following the best
Road to the end
Of my life…
Letting him win
What a better way
To keep him playing…
He always tells
Me the dog needs
To catch the rabbit
Once in a while
To keep him interested…
So I know there
Will be another
Chess game soon…
Karma
Happens in such
Unexpected ways…
A package of ribs
Left out of the freezer
As he was searching
For another type of
Meat…
Soon forgotten
Not found or remembered
For a few days…
Luckily on sale for
$3.00
So no big loss…
But in my mind
Karma
For getting scolded
When wanting to
Give to kids
For their cookout…
Yep…
Karma….
Words said…
Still haunt me today
Yelled years ago
Yet re-said many
Times through these
Few decades of my
Life…
Putting on me
The guilt
Yet supported
With truth by
One undeniable
And one more
Punished for
Affirming truth…
Punished
Till death…
Such an awful
Way to treat truth…
An odd day today
Wind is blowing
Day is getting hot
But nothing special
Propels me to be active
Creative or moving…
Would like to walk
But the fear of falling
Keeps me on my rump…
Hung my new chime
But they don’t chime loudly
Which I’m sure my neighbors
Appreciate…
Could clean my patio
And trim the ivy growing
Over the edges of the stone
But
I’m sure that can wait
Another day…
Retirement has added
To my procrastination…
No where to go
No where to be
Nothing pressing
No deadlines
No kids to shuttle
No meals on my agenda
As my retired groom
Handles that day to day chore
he has food on his mind…
Hourly…
Me…not so much
Unless it’s sweet, chocolate
Or ice cream…
Just a bit of a lazy day
In my bit of heaven…
Leaves
Have personalities
From color to shapes to
Numbers on a stem…
Today as they swing in
Cadence with the wind
They remind me to
Move, dance and sing…
But their rhythm
Has me mesmerized
In my chair
Interpreting their
Movements into thoughts
And ideas they might
Be intending to imbed
In my mind…
Their communication
Becomes evident as
You see them touch
Each other and tangle
With more vigor as the
Breeze blows and heaves
And throws the stems…
Almost like the waves
Of the ocean…
Hermits
Exist I find
Within each soul
That travels this earth..:
The need to retreat
From all…
Digging a hole
Climbing in
Pulling it in with you
So no one can find
The unhappiness inside…
Living in pain
Drowning in unshedable tears
That keep afloat the fears
Destroying the cares
That make one reach
To climb the stairs…
When
Your value wains
Your tolerance
Declines
Self worth becomes
Angry
And you begin
To search for
A way to climb
From the pit
That surrounds
The pain…
Hello darkness
My old friend
I’m back here, with
You again…
What do I
Like to do?
The older I get
I forget…
Was there anything special
If there was
The memory is gone…
Golf..
If the company
Isn’t fun then the
Game is a drag…
When it’s fun
The score climbs…
I know
I’ve played several times…
Quit when a lady
Player felt the need
To instruct
As she felt superior
And an expert in a game
Meant for fun..,.
Why many feel the need
To intrude on a golf
Game that was meant as
A date for two became
A threesome
And should have been called
Out from the start…
Causing a golf date
Never more…
Needs
The importantance
Of needs
Depends on whose…
And can be outranked by
Food or others needs
Making the line
An unloving event
Of waiting
And questioning worth
And real need
In one’s life…
My Retired Groom 